


The Snow Palace

by lysanatt



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alpha!Remus, Angst, Christmas fic, Dominance, Ending? What canon ending?, Hate to Love, M/M, Minor Character Death, Post-Canon, Rough Sex, Spanking, Werewolves, happy end, violence (not between pairing)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-24
Updated: 2006-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-07 11:29:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 52,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8799172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lysanatt/pseuds/lysanatt
Summary: Remus Lupin is dead - or so the wizarding world thinks. Trying to get on with his life, Remus hides out in central London. One day, Remus spots someone he believed to be dead, and is curious enough to investigate. However, not everybody believes that Remus actually died, and suddenly he finds himself both as the hunter and the hunted when he discovers a dangerous plot aimed at no other than - Remus Lupin. But Remus gets help from the most unlikely duo, fighting the invisible enemy.





	1. The Spirit of Christmas Past

**Author's Note:**

> Repost of an Advent project that was taken down years ago.
> 
> The play from which the fic has its title is 'The Snow Palace' by Pam Gems. It premiered 1st December 1998 in London, and revolved around the life and fate of Polish author and playwright Stanislawa Przybyszewska. She died in 1935, at the age of 34, from a combination of morphine addiction and starvation in her 'Snow Palace' - an unheated garret in Gdansk, shortly after she had finished her masterpiece, 'The Danton Case', about the conflict between Danton and Robespierre.

A glimpse of black hair made Remus Lupin turn and stare as a tall man in black clothes strode by. The dark head disappeared out of sight, the view blurred by the many people crowding Leicester Square. The square was an inferno of glittering lights and Christmas decorations and busy shoppers. As Remus stood there, squinting, the man became visible once more; the sun painting blue-streaked reflexes in the long, jet-black hair.

For some days, Remus had felt his shoulder blades tickle uncomfortably, as if somebody was watching him, and Remus had thus been more attentive to his surroundings. Maybe that was why the man had caught his eye - or maybe it was the strange sensation of familiarity that had hit him as the stranger passed by him that had made him look twice.

Remus hesitated but an instant. He took a step in the man's direction, bumped into an elderly woman and reluctantly used half a minute on mutual _I'm sorrys_. Then he strode, as fast as the throng allowed him, after the unknown man. Remus held a brown plastic bag with a golden 'Waterstone's' printed on it in one hand; it swung rhythmically against his leg as he began to walk so fast he almost ran, following a man whose face he hadn't even seen.

He got close enough to keep his eyes on the man and, as the sun once more peeked out between the winter-grey skies, Remus noticed that the man's hair wasn't really black at all, but brown, not as long as he had thought, either. Also the man wasn't tall enough. Remus felt a deep and unexpected disappointment. He should have known. Oh, Merlin, he should have known! He was chasing ghosts - for Severus Snape was dead, almost half a year now. Remus' hand clutched the plastic bag as if reaching for something to hold on to. Remus' ever-present sadness lay heavier upon his heart now. He had had so many losses and sorrows in his life, and unfortunately Snape's death had only added to the grief and despair Remus often felt. He was so very tired from grieving, so very, very tired of losing people he had loved - and even some of those he hadn't.

Remus sighed and stopped, turning around to go back to where he had come from when the light once more changed the colour of the man's hair. Remus frowned. There was something familiar about how the man moved as he, surprisingly, entered a ticket booth. Theatre tickets? Remus combed a hand through his messy hair. He laughed at himself, quietly. There was no way Snape could be alive and booking theatre tickets in the middle of London on an ordinary Tuesday in December. Still curious to what had made him notice the man in the first place, Remus drifted closer until he, almost inadvertently, opened the door and went inside in time to hear the man order a ticket for _The Snow Palace_. The voice was wrong. Remus stared at the man's back. The coat was wrong and the hair the wrong colour. Remus sighed deeply as the shaking flicker of hope died.

Then he froze and took another deep breath, not really ready to believe, not just yet.

Everything was wrong but one thing, the one thing Severus Snape had not been able to alter or charm: his scent. Oh, Lord! Remus closed his eyes and let the well-known, recognisable scent hover on his tongue, in his nostrils. It was there, clear and true and _right_ : a slight smell of lemon and spices and bitterness. Remus' heart beat wildly in his chest. Severus Snape was dead, yet not. Just as he, Remus Lupin, had died and disappeared; gone and buried and forgotten in the wizarding world, yet still alive, here in the middle of the never-sleeping, always-breathing, pulsating city. What an unlikely meeting: two ghosts, two men, dead to their world, but alive in this one, the Muggle world.

The questions were: What in Gryffindor's name was Remus going to do about it? Did he really want to do anything? Remus wouldn't want to impose himself on Severus who - like Remus - clearly had wished to stay dead to the world that had treated them like outcasts. The war had been both hell and heaven to them both, it seemed. Remus took a quick decision. He didn't want to approach Severus here, since there was no doubt Remus' presence might not be to the former Professor Snape's liking. Remus had no intentions of causing a scene or being the reason several Muggles would have to have their minds wiped of the experience. He turned away when Severus walked away from the counter. Even in his new clothes, and with his slightly more filled frame, Severus would probably have recognised him instantly.

Remus waited until the door had closed behind the black-clad man before he stepped up to the young man manning the booth. Remus had an idea, one that might even work. At least it would give him time to prepare.

'May I have a ticket for _The Snow Palace_ , please?' he inquired, pulling his old leather wallet from the depths of his dark camel coat. He carefully dragged out a twenty pound note and received his ticket. Remus really couldn't afford this, but something deep inside him told him there was no way he _couldn't_ afford it. He had been thinking of Severus Snape far too many times since he had been released from the Muggle hospital.

The pain Severus' death had caused Remus sometimes had been worse than the pain from his wounds. They had never been friends. Not even remotely close. They had never liked each other, never liked the same things, never shared any interests, except for Lily's friendship and the knowledge of Dark Arts (although Remus was certain the interest and angle with which Severus viewed said topic was quite different from Remus'). Still, it had hurt Remus when he had found out. He had drifted around platform 9¾, disguised, and had been able to overhear several conversations about the war and its outcome on the day where the students returned to Hogwarts for the autumn term.

Maybe it was the fact that they never had forgiven each other what had happened in their school years that made Remus long for forgiveness and resolution. Maybe it was the fact that Remus had suspected Severus of truly being Voldemort's spy. Maybe it was the fact that Severus had been the only one who hadn't been busy marrying Remus off to someone he liked but never truly loved. Maybe it was the fact that Severus didn't care one Knut whether Remus liked him or not. Maybe, maybe, maybe...

Remus was even more quiet and thoughtful than usual when he returned to his tiny, rented room in Kensington.

Maybe he could find an answer if Severus didn't decide to kill him just for being alive.

Maybe.


	2. The Snow Palace

The Jubilee line train rumbled through the dark tunnels. The coach was filled with people out for early Christmas shopping, and Remus was sweating. The tube was as always ridiculously hot. Remus wondered why the Muggles hadn't invented a device to make travelling more pleasant. He wished he dared cast a cooling charm, but decided against it - even though the smell of Muggles in damp winter coats was almost too much. He closed his eyes as if it could help him ignore the odour of wet dog and the sounds and the warmth. Slowly, his irritation drifted away. Since yesterday, his thoughts had revolved around Severus, and it didn't take long before he was back in deep thoughts. Remus had thought of Snape while he worked (doing the odd-jobs he usually got from the temp agency left him plenty of time for that), he had thought of Severus when he showered, and he thought of him now, as he sat there in the crowded coach. He continued to think of Snape as he went off the train and walked from the station out into the busy street.

Remus still hadn't been able to put words to why he had missed Severus Snape - if _missed_ was the right word. How could one miss somebody who never had a kind word for anyone; one who gave nothing than scathing remarks to any kind approach? Remus was so caught up in his musing that he hardly noticed the discount shops with their displays of cheap household goods and 1£ offers as he walked by them to reach the theatre. All he could think of was that he had to talk to Severus, just once. Just once, and they could clear up things between them, maybe use the possibilities that were offered them by chance. They were both dead and reborn on the day the war ended and Remus had to admit he felt lonely. His friends were dead, his wife as well, and his child was better off without an ageing werewolf to make certain an innocent child would be feared and despised by half the wizarding world. Remus had no doubt Andromeda would take good care of Teddy. Maybe that was why he was naive enough to believe contacting Severus would be a good idea.

Remus shook his head and pushed a stray lock of long, light brown hair away from his eyes before he dug his hands deep into the pockets of his new woollen coat. He was on his way to disaster, and he knew it. Only, he had to try. Strange how he never had got rid of the habit of being nice and kind and try to make peace with people, since the way people had acted after Dumbledore's death clearly told him they cared more about themselves than about Remus. Severus Snape was no exception, since he didn't care about Remus at all. But talking to Severus might still give Remus some kind of closure, give him the mental kick to finally - and forever - forget the world that was once his.

 

Remus sat down in his seat, three rows behind the man that didn't look like Severus Snape. This evening Severus' charm didn't slip; there were no blue streaked hair or crooked nose or lean, long-legged shape. There was just a medium-height man with brown hair; no one Remus would ever have suspected to be Severus. But the scent betrayed him once more, even if it had been a bit harder for Remus to find him. Severus had obviously bathed and used some kind of aftershave that covered the trace of lemony bitterness that always clung to him.

The play began and, for some time, Remus forgot everything around him as he was dragged into the story about a poor Polish author who, dying from bitter cold and poverty, tried to finish several plays about the French Revolution. Remus had no idea whether the play was about a real Muggle or a fictional one, but the story was so close to his own that it couldn't be a coincidence Severus had chosen this particular play. The protagonist was a poor drug-addict, living in appalling conditions. Remus could relate to that since he still missed the awful taste and stench of Wolfsbane and the relief it gave him, knowing that he, that full moon, would be in possession of his faculties. Wolfsbane had removed the madness, not added to it, though. Strangely moved by the horrible fate of the author, Remus couldn't stop thinking about why in the world Severus had chosen this play; why the withdrawn, reserved man had wanted to watch something so bleak and heartbreaking. Severus Snape was indeed full of surprises. How could Severus not have seen how much this resembled Remus' fate? It couldn't be coincidental. Actually, Remus decided, the play resembled both their fates. Even if Severus' drug had been the Dark Arts, and his poverty that of the heart.

Drinking a cup of tea, Remus used the interval between acts to study Severus. He was here alone, that much Remus realised. It was a relief. Not that Remus could imagine Severus with a woman - or a man, for that matter - it was as if Severus' feelings in relation to other people did not include love, or even friendship. It made it easier for Remus to decide to go on with his plan. Dealing with a Muggle companion who might not have any idea that Severus was indeed a wizard... that would have made things considerably more difficult.

When the play was over, Remus sat for a while, surrounded by darkness and the audience's applause. The evening had added only further to the enigma that was Severus Snape. Suddenly, there, in the darkness, Remus realised why it had felt so devastating that he had believed Severus to be dead, and why it had become so important to him to see Severus again when he had found out Severus was indeed alive: Remus wanted to solve the enigma; to see if the darkness had spread to even the most remote corner of Severus' heart. Remus didn't think it had. Maybe that was why he hadn't forgotten Severus, hadn't stopped thinking about him. Remus always thought the best of people, always gave them a chance, and as it was, he didn't think many people had given Severus exactly that. They had taken his help, his talent, his power, and given him no chances in return.

When the lights were turned on, Remus followed Severus. Remus managed to get his coat and to wrap a long dark blue scarf around his neck before he stepped outside. The night was clear and cold, stars glittered weakly, dimmed by the city's light, as Remus watched Severus walk over to a dark car. Remus didn't know Severus was able to drive a Muggle car, it was almost as surprising to him as the choice of play had been.

A small badge with the word 'Rover' decorated the front of the sleek, dark green car. Just the type of machine Severus would buy, Remus mused, just before he stepped up to the car, on the opposite side of it. He rested a gloved hand on the roof. 'Excuse me,' he said softly. 'Is it possible I may have a word with you?'

The man looked up, abruptly, hesitating, the key to the car in his hand. 'What do you want?' he sneered.

If nothing else had given Severus away already, this would have. The harsh words and the way his head had snapped up... it left Remus no trace of doubt that this was indeed the man he had been looking for. Every angry movement, the cold flicker in the warm brown eyes... oh yes, it was all Severus Snape underneath the disguising charm. Remus hardly dared look at his former colleague. He let his long hair fall over one eye, in a movement that was suspiciously similar to the way Severus had hidden under his greasy hair as a child and young man. Remus' hair had grown long, and it fell in thick waves over his shoulders, slightly altered in colour, to give him at least a bit of disguise, if not as thorough or sophisticated as Severus'.

'Again I ask, what do you want? State it, or bugger off, I have no time to entertain strangers in the middle of the street at a quarter to midnight.'

'I was just wondering,' Remus began, wording his request to not reveal anything if a Muggle overheard them. 'I think we have been to school together, and I...' Not too cleverly put. As usual, Severus' anger disturbed Remus' hard won equilibrium. 'I thought you were dead.'

'Do I look dead?' An eyebrow shot up, arrogantly. 'Now, since we have determined I am not, kindly remove yourself from my car.' Severus turned the key in his hand and made the car beep and blink.

Remus felt desperation well up inside him. This wasn't going well. 'Please, Severus,' he said, almost begging. 'Please, let me talk to you, just once. Please, don't drive away!' Remus didn't back away from the shiny car. He put a hand on the door handle, as if to hold back the car if Severus decided to flee.

'Is there anyone else here... anyone with you,' Severus sneered. 'Did anyone see you come over here?' His eyes narrowed, as if he was calculating whether he needed to Obliviate Remus or not.

Remus wondered if he needed to draw his wand, just as a precautionary measure. 'No,' he said. 'I'm alone. I'm dead, you see.'

'Unfortunately it doesn't seem that way from here,' Severus said. 'Aren't you supposed to go rot somewhere, then?' His lip curled unpleasantly as he waved a hand at Remus, as if he was an annoying bug. 'We have talked. Go away now.'

'But...' Remus closed his eyes and frowned. Damn that man! Not even a war and his assumed death had moved Severus Snape as much as an inch away from the harsh and angry person he had been. It was between two full moons, but Remus felt the wolf's anger rise inside him. Before he managed to rein it in, he hammered a fist down on the car's polished surface with a loud sound. 'We have not! I am as dead as you are, and I cannot see what harm it can do if we talk for a while.'

Severus looked surprised for an instant. 'The wolf has teeth? You amaze me, Lupin.' A malicious smirk settled on Severus' thin lips. 'Let me guess. You need me to brew Wolfsbane for you?'

'No! No that is not how-'

'Shut up, Lupin.' Severus' eyes expressed nothing but contempt, and his nostrils flared, as if he was trying to keep calm. 'Just for that little outburst of unexpected willpower and almost-rudeness I will agree. Just to find out if you actually grew a spine. You are probably going to track me down anyway, isn't that how Gryffindor courage works?' Severus spat. 'It will probably be less of a risk for me, if I do agree to waste a few precious hours on you now, instead of having you sniffing around in my neighbourhood for days.'

Above them, a clock struck; heavy, deep bells that told them a new day had begun. The sound of the church bells died out, the only sound audible, apart from the sound of cars passing by on the nearby main street.

'All right,' Severus finally said and let the charm slide off, letting Remus see the well known visage. He reached out and opened the door in his side of the car. 'Get in. We're going back to my house.'


	3. Of Wills and Wounds

The car hummed softly as they drove out of London. It moved like a high-end broom, and somehow Remus wasn't surprised that Severus had chosen a vehicle like this. It was stylish and understated - a bit like Severus himself the few times Remus had seen him in other than teaching robes. Severus didn't speak, and Remus found it unwise to ask questions. He didn't want to find himself kicked out of the car at the next junction. He had no idea where they were going or how far, and Remus felt rather relieved when Severus turned left towards Guildford.

'You live in _Guildford_?' Remus couldn't stop himself from asking. He had heard rumours of a house in Manchester, but of course Severus couldn't use that anymore. Remus wondered who had inherited the property, if any. He turned his head to look at Severus. The light from the street cast shadows over the pale face and made the nose look particularly protruding. No wonder Severus had used charms to disguise himself.

'I suppose you expected me to live in a dungeon, is that it? With rattling chains and mouldy corners?' Severus wrinkled his nose. 'Contrary to you, I cannot just dig a hole in the ground and be content. I actually prefer soft sofas and a decent fire to fleas and rats.'

Before Remus managed to find something to say in his defence, Severus pulled up in front of a small flint lodge. It looked cosy and normal and decidedly un-Severus-like. 'You-' Remus shut his mouth.

'I? I what, Lupin? Can't you speak like a normal person? Your mere presence is an offence to me, and nothing you can say can make it worse.' Severus opened the seat belt, grabbed the key and reached for the coat he had thrown on the back seat. 'You have an hour, and then I want you out of my life - forever. Is that understood?' Severus didn't wait for Remus to reply, just stepped out of the car, pressing the strange key that made the car beep and obey, as soon as he heard Remus close the car door behind him.

 

Severus opened the door to a small sitting room, pointing at a large sofa, as if to indicate that Remus was allowed sit down. Remus carefully sat down in one corner of it. There was an arm chair too, upholstered in the same dark brown wool as the sofa. Remus studied the room as Severus rummaged around in a small mahogany sideboard: from the clinking sound, Remus deducted that Severus was in need of a drink. The room was nice, apart from the strange Arctic blue on the walls. Remus wondered if Severus had wanted to recreate his own snow palace inside the house. Not even the roaring fire was enough to make the room feel truly warm.

'Brandy or Firewhisky,' Severus asked, his tone as arctic as the walls.

Remus looked away from the painting over the fireplace he had been studying - a Scottish winter landscape, it seemed, oddly fitting for the room - surprised he was even offered. 'You really have Firewhisky?' he asked, surprised and childishly excited. It had been so long since he had had any. Leave it to Severus Snape to have connections, even as a dead man.

'No, Lupin, I just offer it, in case I can make you really disappointed.' There was a clucking sound and Severus murmuring, 'twat', just loud enough for Remus to hear.

'Firewhisky, then, please.' Remus took the glass with some gratitude. He needed a drink - he was out of habit, dealing with Severus and his moods - and the burning warmth of the whisky calmed him a bit. Severus sat down in the chair opposite the sofa. They sat there, looking at each other for a little, none of them inclined to speak. Severus' eyes were as cold as the icy blue walls. Remus wondered briefly if he had ever seen any warmth in them. If he ever would.

'Severu-'

'Why are yo-'

'Go on, plea-'

'Stop interrupting me, idiot wolf!'

'Sorry.'

There was a deep silence again, only the sound of the fire crackling broke it. Severus sighed irritated. 'Why are you here, Lupin? Is it the Ministry who sent you? Severus suddenly looked very tired as he rubbed a hand over his eyes. 'Or is it that awful boy?'

Remus looked searchingly at Severus. Severus didn't know? 'I'm dead,' Remus said. 'No one sends me anywhere, since no one knows I'm alive.'

'You want me to believe that? You are far too insecure to leave your little pack of Gryffindors, don't even try to convince me! And abandoning the brat you sired with Tonks? I think not.' The disbelief in Severus' voice was thick enough to cut with a knife. He slammed his glass down on the table so hard the content sloshed over the side and left little dark stains on the dark wooden table. His eyes were flaring. 'Don't try to fool me, Lupin. I am still able to procure Veritaserum and cast an Legilimency spell, if necessary.'

'I am not trying to fool you,' Remus said quietly. He could feel the pain at the thought of his son burn in the corners of his eyes; the tears he refused to shed for what he had lost. 'My son is better off without a werewolf for a father. I simply took the chance to leave when it was there, just as you did, it seems. I have nothing left for me there any longer. My world is dead, now it is time for the young ones to step forward and do a better job than we did. It'll take a long time before my kind is accepted. I don't want to burden Ted with the sin of his father.'

'Sin? I thought you said you were innocent when bitten. Well, that explains-'

'You know what I mean, Severus. It explains nothing, so stop being so damned prickly.'

Again, Severus' eyebrow rose in an expression of half appreciation, half mocking. 'You are so adorable when you are angry,' he sneered. 'If nothing else, being in the Muggle world has taught you that. Rage.'

'This never ends, does it? You have hated and taunted me for more than twenty years. Do you ever get tired of it, Severus Snape?' Remus' anger reared its ugly head. He was getting tired of getting along, and he was indeed out of practise, since he had no one to try to get along with. 'Do you ever get tired of having no one you can call friend, no one who cares for you? I, at least, had that before this misery. I had friends, a wife. You, what do you have? A master who betrayed you, friends who used you up? A lonely life without anybody to care for and to care for you? Not even your childhood friend you could keep. You had to push Lily away-'

'Do not mention her name, you unworthy piece of shit!' Severus roared and in three steps he had Remus dragged up from the sofa, his hands clutching Remus' jumper hard. 'You have no idea what I did for her or how much I loved her, but that you had to ruin that as well, you and your amazingly dead friends. Never, ever, speak her name in my presence again, or I'll kill you.'

As Remus looked into Severus' empty eyes the penny dropped. 'Oh,' he said, trying to make Severus lessen his grip. 'Harry... you did it for... her. All that work, all those years? Protected him?'

Severus let out a deep sigh; he looked almost deflated, as if his anger seeped out and left him a smaller, defeated man. He let go of Remus. 'I do not wish to speak of this again, Lupin. Leave it, or I _will_ do something unfortunate with you.' Another sigh, smaller, a bit shaky, left Severus. 'Your death certainly has transformed you into an unpleasant man, Remus Lupin. I am not certain whether I like the change or not.'

'I am not trying to be rude or hurt you, Severus. But... maybe I - like you - had enough of being a pawn in the games powerful men play.' Or powerful women, Remus thought. He had been helpless under the onslaught of guilt and pressure Molly and Minerva had put him under. Had it not been for them, he would never have married Tonks. Remus smoothed the front of his teal jumper. 'Maybe I have just had enough of the bickering and the accusations.' He let out a sigh as well. 'Couldn't we try to be civil to each other, if I only have an hour, then I'd actually prefer to exchange information with you, not blows. It has been too long since I have had company,' he admitted. 'And I would prefer if our brief time together passes amiably. Information... that is my only agenda. I am no spy, I am not here to betray you or ruin your disguise.' Inadvertently, Remus let a hand run through his loose hair, leaving a half-way desperate impression. 'Please?'

'All right.' Severus' eyes were tired and sad, as if what Remus had said had echoed something he felt too. 'Sit down and tell me why, then. Why are you not at Grimmauld Place, celebrating your Order of Merlin and whatnot with the Potter brat and his friends?' Severus sat down in the heavy brown chair, heavily. He reached for his glass and downed the remains of the Firewhisky, then looked at Remus, expectantly.

'It is as I told you. I am tired of being treated like a chess piece, and I do think my son benefits more from my alleged death than from me being alive. I just... when Tonks lay there next to me, dead, wasted as so many others in the battle... I gave up, Severus. I realised they... the Order... they thought I was dead too.' Sadness overwhelmed Remus, and he closed his eyes to hide the pain. 'I was knocked unconscious, and no one had time to check if I really was dead. Understandably. I woke when I heard the cries of triumph when You-Know-Who died.' Remus' fingers wandered over a cream blanket, thrown over the sofa's armrest. He pulled the blanket into his lap, clutching it. 'I felt so alone, and I realised I had nothing left, apart from a son who would soon enough learn to despise his father. I was smeared in dirt and blood... it was so easy to transform one of the Death Eaters' bodies to resemble mine. I wasn't certain it would work, but apparently it did. So I was free - for the first time in my life, but not willingly so. I'd have preferred my friends to be alive, even my wife. I- I didn't...'

'You didn't love her,' Severus said softly. 'You were too busy satisfying people around you, and she was just another duty you had to perform.'

Remus just nodded. Severus was indeed a spy, and he wondered briefly if anything had ever escaped Severus Snape's attention.

'And now you live in London? Doesn't seem as an appropriate place for a Dark Creature of your observation.'

'No... I... I have a place,' Remus said, 'I hide in one of the abandoned lift shafts over at Brompton Road. The station has been closed for almost a century. There are iron gates... I can't get in and out without my wand. It's safe.'

'So no Wolfsbane? Living life on the edge, are we?'

'Only during full moon. I have a small room in South Kensington. It's not cheap, but it is a good place, I'm temping, so I can have time off a few days a month. It is easy to get around from there.' Remus had unfolded the blanket and let it hang over his thighs. He felt a bit warmer. 'You?' he asked quietly. 'Had you planned this... before?'

'Yes. The Dark Lord was about as reliable as an insane werewolf under the full moon. There was always a risk he'd do something like that... setting his giant snake on me. Or something else, just as fatal.' Severus rubbed distractedly over the scars on his neck. They had healed nicely, but were still visible. 'I put most of my Hogwarts salary in a Muggle bank, since I have lived at the school most of my adult life I had no use for the money. It made me able to buy this house a few years ago. As for Nagini's poison?' Severus hesitated. 'You do know it was Nagini who...'

'Yes. I was spying a bit... under disguise, of course, at King's Cross. The students were well-informed.'

'Well,' Severus continued. 'I had prepared for her too - Nagini. A simple potion and a Port key... it took me a while to recover, of course.'

'They seem to believe Death Eaters took your body. That is what they said, then, at King's Cross.'

'I thought so. Suits me. No one has been looking for me, except you, as far as I know.'

'Ah,' Remus said. 'So you haven't seen anyone suspicious? I didn't think anyone thought I was alive, either, but I've had this nagging feeling for a couple of weeks, that someone-'

'You _knew_ someone was following you, and you dare contact me?' Severus leaned forward as he glared at Remus; his voice was low and cold and menacing, any trace of kindness gone. 'How dare you, Lupin?' Severus' knuckles were white, he was gripping the chair's armrests hard. 'If you have led anyone to me, I am going to execute my former threat: I am going to kill you in a very painful way!'

'When I first saw you, I wondered if it was you who spied on me. But I realised it wasn't, not the way you passed me, when I spotted you in London,' Remus said, trying to keep calm. It didn't help them if he got angry again, he'd probably find himself Obliviated and out on the pavement before he knew what had happened. 'Your charm was slipping,' he continued, keeping his voice low. 'They could have seen you, just as I did. If there really is anyone keeping an eye on me, that is.'

Severus said nothing, just stared at Remus, leaving him quite unsettled.

'I just wanted to talk to you, Severus. I... I felt a great relief when I saw you.' Remus paused, not sure whether Severus would be more angry at his words. 'I realised your death made me think... even miss you. And I regret I never did more to solve whatever enmity there has been between us.' He fidgeted a bit, pulling the fringe of the white woollen blanket, not knowing how to continue.

'Back to the same old, apologising sheep, are you? Gods, Remus, grow up! And here I thought you had begun to look like a remotely interesting person. Obviously I was wrong. That spine... it wasn't very long-lasting, was it?'

Remus blinked. Had Severus just called him by his first name? Remus had expected Severus to throw a fit over his error, an error which maybe had led someone to Severus' hiding place. But instead he was growling over Remus' polite behaviour, as if Severus _wanted_ him to be impolite and bossy and wolfish? He could do that, if that was the thing that would make Severus talk to him. It was just a question of letting the wolf have its way, not to suppress it, as he was used to. Severus was not his friend, he would never be, and maybe Remus should just pay Severus back in kind, rude word for rude word, offence for offence.

'You know, Severus,' Remus said, almost snarling, his voice rough and with traces of the wolf rolling over his tongue, 'I am a bit tired of you being so attentive to the way I behave.' Remus' eyes glittered dangerously. 'Now, here is what we do: we will work together to find out who is stalking me, if there is anybody at all. It is important to you as well, since both our covers can be blown because of this. Also, I am willing to endure your unpleasant behaviour to an extent, but do not even consider shouting at me, or hexing me, because then I will make you very sorry. I am already dead, and so are you. We have new lives to live, and this tired old problem ends now. If you need-' Remus leaned forward, letting Severus see the wolf in his eyes, 'someone to make you behave, I'd oblige, not happily, but if that's what it takes...'

Severus had been quiet when Remus spoke, only the dark eyes showed the emotions that flared through Snape's mind. 'You are really delusional, aren't you? As if there was anything you could offer I'd want. Poor wolf, it has already taken over your mind, the madness.' Severus wrinkled his nose arrogantly. 'I'm not afraid of you, Lupin. Not any more.'

Remus leaned back, consciously confident. He knew he was taking a chance, a risk, maybe with this making Severus despise him forever. 'I'd be if I were you, Severus.' Remus' sharp teeth flashed white in a sneering smile. 'I'd be very afraid. I know I have what it takes to scare you, and maybe, just maybe, I shouldn't hold back?'

'Fuck you, Lupin,' Severus snapped, and got up from his chair, his face pale from anger. 'Fuck you!'

'If that's what you want,' Remus said softly, teasingly, 'I can do that too.'

'You're sick, beast,' Severus sneered. 'As if I'd ever-'

'Honestly, Severus,' Remus said, letting the wolf show its dominant side. 'I am not the least interested in what _you'd ever_. I really am tired, and now I am going to lie down on your sofa and sleep until morning - unless you have a guest room, that is. Tomorrow we decide what to do, and whether you still want to fuck me. Then we make plans to catch whomever it is who are spying on us, and I suggest you go to bed and sleep before we get to work. You'll need to be at your best tomorrow.' Remus watched Severus' face, saw the anger fade visibly. Obviously it seemed as if Severus found some relief when somebody dared share the responsibility for the actions that needed to be taken. 'Go to bed, Severus,' Remus said softly. 'We can discuss this tomorrow.' Remus put the blanket down and stood. He put a hand on Severus' shoulder. The shoulder bone was sharp and protruding under his hand. He pushed the scowling man toward the door. 'You must be tired too. It will be easier to decide what to do after an good night's sleep.'

Severus glared at Remus. 'I know I'll regret this deeply,' he just said and let Remus have his way, maybe for the first time in their decades-long relationship. 'I can kill you tomorrow. It is easier to dig your grave when the sun is up.'

'Good night, Severus,' Remus said quietly, as the door slammed behind the angry man.


	4. Two Lonely Men

It was early when Remus woke up. His mobile phone hadn't gone off, so there was a good chance the temp agency didn't need him today. He doubted he would live long enough to actually go to work, if he asked Severus to drive him back to London at six o'clock in the morning. It was still dark outside, cloudy and rainy: the typical English December weather. The fire had almost burned down to embers, and stiffly Remus got up from the sofa to stoke the fire and put more wood on it. Remus crawled back under the blanket and it didn't take long before the warmth spread in the room; a golden glow chased the shadows away, softening the the cold, ice blue colours of the walls, painting them warmer with the flickering yellow light.

He lay there for a while, on the soft sofa - his feet on the armrest, since the sofa was a bit too short for his full length. The sky became lighter and the sun began to tease the clouds away with thin fingers of bright light. Outside the door, Remus could hear clanking of china and cutlery, and a wonderful smell of coffee sneaked in to awaken Remus' hunger.

A little later, the door was opened, and Severus came in, carrying a rather heavy tray. Remus looked at the large amount of croissants, fruit and juice that Severus carried. He hurried to sit up and pull the small coffee table closer, pushing 'How to Understand Thestrals' and several issues of a Muggle magazine called 'House & Garden' away so Severus could put the tray down.

''morning, Severus. It looks delicious!'

'It's food.'

'I can see that. You eat like this every day?' Remus sounded a bit envious. He usually didn't get anything but a piece of toast and a cuppa, so the lush meal Severus offered him was a feast.

'You don't believe I'd do anything special for you, do you?' Severus snapped.

'Unfortunately, no,' Remus grinned. 'I'm sure we'd get along much easier if you did, to be honest.'

'Do not count on it.' Severus cautiously sat down in the chair he had sat in the previous evening. 'Eat.'

'I promise I won't hold my breath in anticipation, then,' Remus said and poured himself a cup... mug of coffee. The large mug was white with a nice dark blue pattern. Severus had surprisingly good taste.

'Pity,' Severus murmured under his breath, and took another mug.

They sat in silence for a while as they ate, and Remus didn't find the silence uncomfortable. He was used to Severus' attitude, and had frankly expected him to be even more grumpy in the morning. At Hogwarts, he had been famous for his morning grumpiness.

Finally, as Remus put down his mug on the table, he decided it was time to talk. He reminded himself how Severus had reacted to the more dominant version of Mr Remus Lupin, werewolf and war-hero. It was not as if Remus wanted to be impolite; it felt rather disturbing to give the wolf free reign after having kept it in a tight lead for so many years. Apart from during full moon, Remus had only allowed the beast to peek out once in a very, very long time: when Harry had accused him of being a coward. Remus hadn't thought he would be able to forgive Harry what had been said that day. However, he had, eventually. As usual, he forgave his friends for being out of line, even the friends he had left; friends he would never see again.

Maybe it really was time to try another approach, Remus mused. To let Moony participate a bit more in his life. The wolf was there, always; it would never go away. The wolf was a never-ending problem, which was why Remus had never let it take the slightest control if he could avoid it. It was hard enough to cope with it once a month. Only, this time it served a higher purpose: Remus needed to make Severus cooperate; he needed Severus' help to find out if somebody was really stalking him. Also - and to be honest - Remus realised he was lonely, and he wouldn't mind Severus' snarky company, even if the man was about as friendly as a grumpy badger. In fact, Remus wouldn't mind... Unbidden images of what, exactly, Remus wouldn't mind flickered through his mind.

Reminded of their nightly row, Remus blushed furiously at the thought of what he had said to Severus. Maybe it had been the brandy? But he had... proposed _that_ to Severus, said that he could... Oh, Merlin's balls! Remus looked at Severus from under half closed lids. The man looked peaceful as he sat with a mug in one hand, and a Muggle paper in the other. Maybe he had forgotten? Remus hoped so. He had foolishly exposed himself. He was certain no one in the wizarding world knew that Remus Lupin swung both ways, because then Severus would have used that information against him as well - not only played the werewolf card.

As if Severus had been able to read his mind, the man put the paper down and looked directly at Remus. 'Well, wolf?' The voice was neutral, neither friendly nor hostile. It was as if Severus was waiting for Remus' draw.

Remus decided that he had nothing to lose. 'Well, Severus,' he said, almost provocatively, as he casually leaned against the armrest. 'Is there something you want?'

Severus raised an eyebrow. 'You are the one who flung yourself at me and invaded my sofa, my home and my secrecy. You tell me what _you_ want.' Severus leaned forward a bit, eyes narrowing. 'Personally, and since you ask, I'd like to have you out of my house and my life within a minute, only I have a slight suspicion there is no fairy godmother to take care of that. I could use my wand and an Unforgivable, but then again, I'll have the Ministry's people swarming all over the place in an instant. So get on with it before I decide casting the Avada on you is actually worth the trouble.'

'Oh, Severus,' Remus said teasingly, deciding to play Severus' game. 'I didn't know you felt that way.' He smiled, and Remus' smile and expression had a disturbing similarity to a large predator, flashing its teeth. 'Now this is how it goes: You will help me investigate and set a trap for my stalker. When that is done, your reward will be me, getting out of your life and never look back - if that is what you want. I will never betray you to the Ministry or any other witch or wizard, not even of you decide you will never see me again. Although,' Remus said, a bit less determined, 'maybe you'd benefit from my company... if...' Remus hesitated and smiled again, melancholically this time. He hunched, looking more like a lost puppy than a dangerous wolf. 'I don't regret having left the wizarding world,' he said quietly. 'But sometimes I feel lonely...

Something dark and longing flickered through Severus' eyes. It made Remus sure Severus felt like that too; none of them had had many friends in their lives, and their current situation didn't leave them the luxury to create close connections with other people. The expression in Severus' eyes disappeared as fast as it had appeared.

'So you have decided I am to be your new chew-toy, so you won't get bored and ruin the carpet? You must have had too much coffee, Lupin!' Severus made a derisive snort.

'Actually,' Remus growled, letting the wolf show its disapproval. 'Actually, I didn't think I'd chew on you. But if you'd rather I did...' Remus managed to keep himself from putting a hand over his mouth, as soon as the words had left him. It seemed to go wrong every time he let go of the wolf and spoke at the same time. The wolf certainly had base needs, and Remus' control was slipping. He took a deep breath, feeling a bit silly. They were two adult men, and still they played games like children.

'You'd be dead before you tried,' Severus snapped. 'If we could get on with the plan? I'm not interested in you, Lupin. In any way imaginable.'

Remus studied Severus' face. He didn't seem truly angry. Severus' anger, that Remus had seen far too often, and this was not it. Usually, Remus would have apologised profoundly, but this time he didn't. He had the triumph to see a trace of surprise in Severus' expression, as if he, too, had expected it. 'It began,' Remus said, changing the subject, 'two weeks ago, just after full moon. I was on my way home from the safe place in Brompton Street. You know I don't feel too well, after...'

Severus just nodded, and Remus had to admire the man. There was no doubt Severus had an arsenal of decidedly unpleasant remarks he could have thrown at Remus at the mentioning of his transformation, but Severus didn't. Remus sighed, relieved, and continued. 'I was half asleep, sitting in the tube. I think it was because the wolf had just left my body and mind I noticed something, as if I was watched. I didn't see anyone I recognised, there was no scent, nothing. Just the feeling...' Remus reached for his coffee, trying to find words to explain. Severus sat with half-closed lids, the dark eyes following Remus as he moved.

'I have been very careful since then,' Remus reassured. 'I've tried every trick I could think of to see if I could reveal who - or what - it is. I have been watching people very closely.' Remus shrugged, as if to apologise for his vigilance. 'That was how I discovered you. I had no idea you were still alive, until I saw you cross Leicester Square.'

Severus just looked sour, as if Remus was accusing him of incompetence. 'It'd have cost me my life if I had slipped like that, when Voldemort...' Severus stopped. Obviously, admitting he had not been up to his usual best was a bitter pill to swallow. 'It _did_ cost me my life, didn't it?' he asked in a soft, tired voice. 'And now it is going to cost me my new, improved life as well.' He frowned. 'Are you people never going to stop yourself from making me do things I don't want to?'

Remus' heart ached, for Severus sounded almost hollow. It was true what he said: everybody had wanted a piece of Severus Snape - not for his sake, but for their own. Remus definitely didn't like the tone, the way Severus looked - as if defeat had taken over where pride and arrogance and cold demeanour had ruled before. Remus moved to sit on the corner of the coffee table, close to Severus' chair. The black-clad man looked up at him, his eyes void of feeling. They were just empty and black. 'If that is what you want... to be left alone...' He didn't want to cause Severus more pain, and leaving... it might be the right thing to do. Remus didn't think, but put his hand on top of Severus'. It felt thin and fragile under Remus' bigger hand. 'If you want me to, I'll just leave. Forget we ever had this conversation.' Remus leaned forward as to emphasise he meant what he said. 'Never see you again.'

Severus was quiet for a while. His hand was cold, but Remus could feel the pulse flutter, feel blood flow underneath the pale white skin.

'No,' Severus just said. 'No.' He raised his eyes to meet Remus' and life poured back in them as well, no longer icy and empty.

Remus didn't ask Severus to explain anything. He just gave the hand in his a slight squeeze and returned to the sofa.

 

They used the time until lunch to make plans before Severus drove Remus back to London.


	5. The Call of the Wild

Remus was down the stairs in a second when the door bell rang. He didn't want Severus to stand outside the house a moment longer than necessary. This was a risk for Severus too, if the stalker had connections in the wizarding world, and there was no doubt in Remus' mind he had. Why else would anybody be interested in Remus Lupin's whereabouts? The only people Remus had seen since he fled from the battle of Hogwarts, was the doctors at the hospital who had treated his concussion and the relatively shallow wounds and bruises he had got during the fight.

Hiding partly behind the heavy front door, as not to reveal whom Severus was visiting, Remus waved his guest inside. Severus had obviously developed the charm he was using to conceal himself; his hair was even lighter now - a dull light brown - and the face was remarkably unremarkable. This was a person no one would notice, or they would notice and instantly forget. The only thing which set the man slightly apart was the two very large bags he had with him.

'Severus.' Remus smiled and closed the door behind his guest. 'Sure no one was watching the house?'

Severus looked at Remus as if he was a bug. 'I have no idea, Lupin. Since I stayed alive as a spy for almost twenty years, I'd just barge in here without being certain. Casual risk is my middle name.'

'Of course. Sorry.'

'Somebody should rid you of all that sorrow. Are you aware of how annoying it is to be subjected to it all the time?' Severus raised the smallest bag. 'Now can we go somewhere where I can set this up?'

'I'd love it if somebody would. Contrary to what seems to be common belief, I don't particularly prefer being miserable.' Remus smiled and put a hand on Severus' shoulder. 'But if you'd like to try, be my guest.'

Severus jerked. 'Don't touch me, wolf! Do you want to set up surveillance or not?'

'Why else would you be here?' Remus shook his head. Severus really was a hedgehog; the man couldn't even stand a friendly touch. 'Let's go upstairs,' he just said, turning to lead Severus up the stairs to the tiny bedsit.

 

'How can you stand to live like this?' Severus asked and looked at the den-like room with its used, battered furniture. 'Or do you really like supporting Oxfam this much?' He put the bags down next to a small desk under the window. He turned. 'But it does resemble a kennel. No wonder you chose it.'

'I have to be careful with my money,' Remus said, unfazed. 'I was poor as a church mouse before, and since I don't know how much or how long the temp jobs are running, I have to save a little, for the rainy day.' The wolf woke up and poked at Remus' pride. 'As I remember it, Oxfam had a true supporter in you, once. Not so fashionable in school, were you?' Remus said before he had reined the wolf in, a not-so-pleasant smile decorating his face.

Severus looked as if somebody had hit him. The expression faded into a mask of cold disdain. 'Aiming to follow in the footsteps of Sirius Black? I can help you the rest of the way, if you wish it - the part where he was killed by a curtain.'

Knowing he was out of line, Remus sighed. He had stepped on and over Severus' borders, and his own. Remus had no intention of becoming a Sirius Black. 'I admit that was rude. I truly am sorry,' he said. 'But maybe if we both try to... relax, things might be a bit easier. It is only for a while, Severus. Until we have found out why I am so interesting that I am worth watching.'

'Very well. I suppose I can manage, if it is only for a week or two.' Severus' shoulders sank, as if tension slipped out of his body. 'Now, who am I going to shag to get a decent cup of tea in this dump?' Severus' tone was surprisingly light-hearted.

'Er-' Remus said. 'That'd be me.' He grinned broadly, deciding not to feel embarrassed. 'So you are taking my offer? It'll make spying more interesting, of course.'

'In exchange for a cup of Earl Grey? You sell yourself cheaply, wolf.'

'As I recall it, it was you who offered the shagging. Regrets already? Or do you still want tea?' Remus took the kettle, looking mischievously at Severus. Somehow, the thought of actually doing what Severus sarcastically had suggested wasn't really that unpleasant. Severus had beautiful hands and long, slender legs. Remus hurried to pour water in the kettle. He had a sink and two hotplates placed on top of an old fridge hidden away in one corner, enough to make tea or a simple meal. 'There are biscuits as well, but then it better be good!'

For the first time in ages, Remus watched a small smile bloom on Severus' lips. 'If I ever gave you the chance, wolf, you wouldn't be disappointed.' Severus smirked. He was quiet for a while as he rummaged around in the smaller bag. He pulled out a Muggle box. He put it on the desk, his back to Remus.

'Chocolate biscuits?' Severus asked.

'Mmhmm.'

'Two, please. And tea with no milk or sugar.'

'Well, Mr Snape... Is that a proposition?' Remus smiled at the thinly veiled flirting. That was one thing he hadn't counted on.

Severus turned around in the chair. 'You seem terribly interested in my... appetite, don't you?' Snape opened the other bag and pulled out a laptop and a long cord. 'Is there a socket somewhere?'

Remus pointed at a spot just to the right of the desk. 'There. So... do you need me to... plug it in?' he offered, smiling.

Severus coughed and looked up at Remus, cocking an eyebrow. He looked slightly surprised. 'No,' he said. 'I think I can manage.' He straightened, and suddenly he looked just as mischievous as Remus had done earlier. 'If there is to be... plugging, I will be the one to do it,' he purred. 'Since I know what I'm doing. It is not wise to play with fire - or electricity if you are... inexperienced. Didn't your mother tell you that, Lupin?'

'Oh, there are a lot of things my mother never told me, Severus. And a few she'd probably wish I'd never got to know, a fact or two about werewolves included.'

'Can't say I don't understand that,' Severus murmured and began connecting a round electronic device to the laptop.

'That's the... webcam?' Remus asked, as he prepared the tea. He put some biscuits on a small plate. They were chocolate ones.

'Yes.' Severus pulled the curtain aside slightly, and placed the webcam on the windowsill. He adjusted it, looking at the screen until he was satisfied. 'Now we have a nice view over the street. If anybody as much as squint at this window, we'll know.'

'You are really good with the Muggle apparatus.' Remus nodded appreciatively. Severus had never seemed to be particularly impressed by anything Muggle. Remus put a cup down in front of Severus. 'So, what do we do now?' he asked.

'We wait and watch.' Severus reached for the tea. 'I have had a lot of time on my hands. Not all Muggle inventions are utter waste of time. I found it wise to learn to use these. It seems as if Muggles are unable to function without them for long.'

'Seems so. But do we have to look at it all the time? I thought that was the idea, that the thing saved the information?'

'No, we don't have to. But we might want to monitor it regularly, just in case the stalker shows up.'

'Maybe a book, then? We could read aloud, so one of us can watch the pictures? Or we could listen to the radio?'

Severus let his eyes slide over the only large piece of furniture in the room - a sturdy bookcase filled with both older and new Muggle books. 'You have definitely spent money on something,' Severus said. 'I suppose we could...'

'It is such a small luxury,' Remus smiled. 'Muggle paper-backs...'

Reaching for a book, Severus looked amused. 'An American Werewolf in London? Call of the Wild? White Fang? Do I sense a theme here?'

'Er-' Remus said as Severus took out the DVD's garish cover. 'That one's a film.'

'You really love to wallow in your misery?'

'Not particularly. Werewolf films are amusing, and Jack London's books are very good.'

'If one likes purple prose and run-on sentences, unable to understand for normal readers.'

'Oh, Severus, it is not that bad!'

Severus took one of the novels from the book case. He opened it, as if he knew what he was looking for. ' _With the aurora borealis flaming coldly overhead_ ,' Severus read aloud, ' _or the stars leaping in the frost dance, and the land numb and frozen under its pall of snow, this song of the huskies might have been the defiance of life, only it was pitched in minor key, with long-drawn wailings and half-sobs, and was more the pleading of life, the articulate travail of existence._

 _It was an old song, old as the breed itself - one of the first songs of the younger world in a day when songs were sad. It was invested with the woe of unnumbered generations, this plaint by which Buck was so strangely stirred. When he moaned and sobbed, it was with the pain of living that was of old the pain of his wild fathers, and the fear and mystery of the cold and dark that was to them fear and mystery. And that he should be stirred by it marked the completeness with which he harked back through the ages of fire and roof to the raw beginnings of life in the howling ages_.' Severus put the book down, quietly.

The world stood still for a moment, everything was silent, it was as if the air was electric. Remus could hardly breathe.

'You know it?' Remus asked, almost inaudibly. 'You know it well enough to find that passage so easily?' It was Remus' favourite passage. It echoed the sadness, the pain, and the loneliness he so often felt; it described the longing for completion: the merging of the world and wolf and the peace Remus knew he could never have.

Severus didn't reply. He just sat there; the vast black eyes, dark as the winter's darkest night, intense and shining with a cold light.

Slowly, Remus leaned forward, raising a hand to touch Severus', driven by the urge of both wolf and man. Here, now, he knew what he wanted, he knew why he had mourned Severus' death, knew why he had felt so elevated when he finally realised Severus was alive. The way Severus contemplated him made him believe he was not the only one who had mourned and longed.

'Bloody hell!' A movement, as the laptop's screen refreshed the picture from the webcam, caught Remus' attention and dragged both men out of the almost magical mood that had settled between them. 'There, Severus!' Remus pointed frantically at the computer. A black and white picture showed clearly the slightly smudged visage of a man, looking up at Remus' dimly lit window.

Severus almost toppled over the teacup, but managed to stabilise it as he turned around fast. He didn't say anything, just stared at the screen as the webcam updated again. The man hadn't moved. 'Do you know him?' Severus said, hoarsely.

Remus looked at the stalker. There was no doubt anymore, that Remus was actually stalked. The man looked slightly familiar, but the picture wasn't clear enough for Remus to recognise the features. 'I'm not sure. If I could get closer... I think I might, he reminds me of somebody, but who...'

'Is there a way you can get outside? Maybe take a look at him? I could go with you, make sure you're safe?' Severus made the offer almost casually. 'Maybe you can recognise his scent?'

'Yes,' Remus replied, flabbergasted. Had Severus just offered to protect him? It was odd, but not unwelcome. Usually people had been more busy protecting others _against_ Remus. 'We can use the door in the basement, there are outside stairs to the street.'

They hurried down the stairs, opening the basement door as quietly as possible. When they carefully stuck their heads up to see if they could spot the man, he was gone.

'Damned,' Remus said, as soon as they were back inside. 'Now what?'

'Go fetch your collar and lead,' Severus said. 'You are not staying here tonight.'

'But...'

'You heard me. He knows where you live. If you want to stay and be killed in your sleep, or whatever it is he wants, I will not complain. However, since I don't want to have a dead werewolf on my hands, I suggest we retreat to my house for now. We'll let the laptop stay, that way we can find out if he returns or if we scared him away.' Severus' voice was firm and clear, the voice of the strict Hogwarts professor. There would be no contradictions, that much was clear. 'Now what are you waiting for, Lupin? Move!'

'If you... if you want me to...'

'Are you deaf? Of course I'd invite you to stay at my house if I didn't mean it... Good Lord, must you be so dense?'

Remus didn't reply. He just ran up the stairs to fetch his toothbrush. Before the flat's door closed behind him, the last he heard was Severus shouting,' And bring that werewolf film! I want to watch it!'


	6. A Life Pulled Apart

Remus sat, head leaning against the cold window, as they drove towards London. He hadn't slept well; he was too old to sleep on a sofa. At least he had woken up warm this time, since Severus grumpily had dug out a thick duvet from a cupboard. However, his neck hurt, and his back was sore. If he ever were to sleep in Severus' house again, he'd rather sleep on the floor than abuse his neck with a bulky armrest for a pillow.

It was Sunday and the traffic not as heavy as usual. That was a relief, because Remus ached to get home, to lie down in his own bed with a good book so he could forget about stalkers and Severus and December's awful weather. Just a trip to Tesco's to buy some more chocolate biscuits, then a nice cuppa, and Remus would be happy. He closed his eyes for a moment, tiredly. Somehow the minutes had ticked away, because the next thing he heard was Severus' sour, 'wake up, wolf! Unless you want to stay in the car.'

Remus yawned and stretched. Severus had parked the car a bit away from Remus' house. 'Not really, he said. 'I don't think I can take more sleeping in odd places right now.' Remus winced as his neck reminded him of why. 'Your sofa is nice, especially if it had been a foot longer, I must say.'

'Next time you can bring your own dog bed. If you think that'll be better.'

'Thank you, Severus. I am glad you are so considerate. But I sincerely hope it won't be necessary.'

Severus rolled his eyes. 'I don't need to comment on that, do I?' Severus pulled out his wand, hidden beneath the dashboard. He cast a disguising charm on himself, making the slight changes that made him go from a very remarkable man to the anonymous mousy type.

'I like you better the other way,' Remus said quietly. 'I hope this is not how you prefer to look.'

'So you are blind now, as well as deaf? Poor wolf, maybe we can get a vet to euthanize you?'

Remus didn't take the bait. 'I just think you are much more... spectacular the other way. I don't think that qualifies as being blind.' It wasn't a lie. Severus wasn't handsome, but the black hair and the eyes which could go from Arctic cold to burning with an intense heat in seconds... they did indeed make Severus spectacular. 'Sometimes you think too little of yourself, Severus.'

'Could we get on with the task - as soon as you're finished evaluating my various looks, of course? I wouldn't want to disturb you in your important musings for something so common as a stalker.'

'Sorry.'

Severus just huffed and opened the car door. 'Come on. I haven't got all day.'

They both got out of the car, following the tall fence which surrounded the small park across Remus' house. When they reached the point where they had last seen the stalker, Remus hesitated. 'He's been here again,' Remus whispered and sniffed the air. 'The scent is too strong to be leftovers from yesterday.'

'Are you certain?' Severus looked slightly worried. 'I wonder what has spurred this unnatural interest in what you do and when. I don't like it. Lupin.' Severus looked around, as if to check if there was anybody close. 'It has to be someone from our world. I don't suppose you have any Muggle acquaintances who are particularly curious regarding you or your actions?'

'No.' Remus shook his head. 'We went through all of them the first night, and... no. No one knows me well enough, I have rarely temped more than a week in the same place. I find it unlikely that my temporary colleagues should have been that intrigued with me.'

The only answer from Severus was a short laughter. Remus crossed the street with Severus in tow, fumbling for his keys. As he pushed the key into the lock, he froze. 'He has been fiddling with the lock. His scent is clearer here.'

'The stalker?' Severus frowned and stepped closer, studying the brass handle and the lock. 'Not with a tool, I think. Wizard?'

'Maybe. I suggest we are very careful when we get inside.' Remus swallowed. He didn't want a wizarding fight inside a Muggle building. Not only would they have to Obliviate the spectators, but the Ministry would most certainly arrive to investigate.

'Really, Lupin?' Severus said sarcastically. 'I suggest then, that you stay behind, if you are not able to perform a decent disguising charm. He doesn't know me, but you... you are too easily recognised. Nobody is fooled because you have changed your hair to light brown.' Severus looked at Remus in a way that would have told anyone that - disguise or no disguise - this was Severus Snape. 'And I'm a better duellist than you. Are we clear?'

'Yes... I...'

'Lupin!'

The one word was a warning. Remus nodded his accept, and they went inside, carefully opening the heavy front door. The hall was quiet, no sounds apart from a loo flushing somewhere in the building. They sneaked up the stairs; the soft carpet covering their steps. Severus scanned the stairs carefully, to discover any trap or ward set on them. They stopped at the landing, listening, carefully getting closer to Remus' door. Then, before he realised what was happening, Remus found himself with his back against the wall, and Severus' lean body pressed hard against his.

'Silent, wolf! Someone is inside.' Severus had moved faster than lightning and Remus was impressed. Severus' voice was barely more than a hot whisper against his neck, and any words he might have had were stuck in his throat as adrenaline rushed through him, mingling fear and the odd, arousing feeling of a decidedly male body held firmly against his own.

Remus let out a shaky breath. 'You or me first?'

'Me,' Severus just murmured and stepped up to the door, letting the wall cover his body. The door was ajar, letting out a slight beam of light from the windows inside. Severus directed his wand at the door and blasted it open, ready to cast further spells. As no sounds were heard, he stuck his head inside. 'Come on up, Remus... but you won't like the look of this.' Severus' eyes were strangely sad.

Remus took the last few steps to his apartment. 'Oh no.' It was more than Remus could bear. He stood in the door opening, looking at the mess, petrified by the violent destruction. He had so little, and still this unknown man had found pleasure in ruining Remus' poor possessions. 'Why... I...' It was too much. There was not a book left whole, not a piece of clothing that wasn't ripped apart. Even the mattress was torn and the springs sticking out like limp snakes. The floor was covered with pages from the books, the DVDs were broken and trampled. Severus' laptop had suffered a lethal destiny as well, just as the sink which had a large crack down the middle.

'At least it wasn't you,' Severus said, softly. 'Merlin knows what would have happened if you had been here, asleep.'

'I know.' Remus' voice shook, and so did his legs. The obvious hate this was done with shocked him more than the destruction itself. He gripped the door frame as if to keep standing. Then Severus carefully stepped around the largest pile of debris to, almost reluctantly, wrap an arm around Remus waist.

'Are you all right?' he inquired. 'Can you stand? I won't have unconscious werewolves in my car, I tell you.' Severus' voice was velvet-soft and soothing. 'Here, let me help you,' Carefully Severus pushed the worst of the scraps away from the bed and guided Remus down to sit on it. 'I think we can repair some of your things, but I wouldn't be too optimistic,' Severus said as he let go, his hand sliding almost tenderly over Remus' hip.

Remus nodded. 'If we can save just a little, I'll go from owning nothing to at least have a few books and a clean pair of trousers.' He managed a weak smile. 'It seems as if destiny has decided I am to live and die poor.'

'Seems so.' Severus swung his wand, and paper, rags and electronic devices fluttered around in an attempt to connect with their former parts. An old Dickens foliant lay flapping in a corner, fighting James Joyce's 'Exiles'. 'I thought Joyce suffered from a canine phobia,' Severus said. 'And you still read him?' Severus poked at the books to make them split up.

'At least Joyce was bitten...' Remus simply couldn't manage to fight with Severus now. He closed his eyes, feeling deadly tired. His brow had a deep frown, and the lines in his face expressed nothing but exhaustion.

'Are you trying to tell me I had no reason to be... to detest you? Since you didn't bite me that night? That you and Sirius gave me no reason?' Severus snapped. 'Because your little murder-attempt really didn't feel that pleasant, I can tell you, you and Sirius and James... you were always-'

'That's enough!' Remus stood, angry and ready to continue the fight if that was what Severus wanted. 'You are never going to let it go, are-' Remus stopped. The grin on Severus' face told another story than the haughty, stabbing words. 'You goaded me! You sodding goaded me!' Remus growled. 'Severus... really!'

'That's one way to put the fight back in the wolf,' Severus smirked and directed a small pile of restored books to the desk. 'You should learn never to give up, Lupin. You aren't going to get your revenge if you just roll over and give in. Your time with the werewolves should have told you that. Also, I like you much better when you get a bit... rough. Now would you please get me a box?'

Remus reached for a small cardboard box. He wasn't sure he had understood Severus correctly. 'What are you going to do with it?' he just said, attempting to ignore Severus' remark. Severus liked him better when he got rough? Remus sighed and pointed at his few belongings, but couldn't stop himself from smiling. Severus liked it rough, but Severus too, was a decidedly bossy man when given the opportunity.

'We store everything you have left in here,' Severus poked at the box. 'Then we go to tell your landlord you are going away on an unexpected holiday to Greece for at least a couple of weeks. We put the box in my car, and we go home.' Severus shrugged. 'I knew I'd be bothered with you and all your troubles and annoying behaviour as soon as I saw you. I should just have driven away, and left you outside the theatre. As usual I had no say in it.'

Now it was Remus' turn to raise an eyebrow. 'Aha. You just invited me to stay in your house, and you pretend not to have had your say? Becoming a bit delusional lately?'

'You really want me to say it, don't you? That I... would like you to come?' Severus turned with the box in his hands. Remus' clothes, neatly folded and shrunken, balanced on the top.

'Well... I don't want to intrude. I can defend myself, Severus. You don't need to help me. I can stay here, if you'd rather back out. This,' Remus waved a hand at the piles of clothes and books, 'seems to be personal. None of your business, actually.'

'Shut up, Lupin. It is not up for debate. We're going now, and you can come back when we have found out who did this. Until then, you live at my house.'

'But, my job? I need it to-'

'Same story. You are going away for a while to Greece, you'll call when you are back. Also, you don't have time to work now. We're going to investigate.' Severus grabbed the box and pulled Remus with him out the door. 'And I do want you to come with me.'


	7. Tea and Chocolate Bisquits

'What have you been doing all day?' Remus inquired curiously. He had had far too much time alone, worrying about the stalker. He had never liked being alone, and the destruction of his flat had made Remus slightly anxious about it. Severus had been in the house, of course, but Remus had still felt a bit lost, longing for company to chase away the memory of the torn books and clothes. 'Not that it is my business...'

'That would have been true, had I not wasted a full day on e-mailing Muggle witches, minding exactly your business.' Severus put down a small tray on the coffee table, and put teacups and a small teapot, the shape of a cat, on the table.

'Muggle witches?' Remus closed the book he had been reading, leaving it on his lap. 'Really, Severus... I don't want to cause you any trouble.'

'It means I have been trying to find ingredients for a certain potion that will make you a tame werewolf, come full moon. And since I cannot use my usual sources, I have discovered that Muggles actually perform various rituals, using old recipes for their potions. Their odd Muggle magic probably doesn't work as ours do, but the ingredients are just as good as anything one can get in Diagon Alley. I simply order them via the Internet.' Severus huffed and pulled his robe tightly around himself. 'And you are _nothing_ but trouble, wolf. I will, however, not have you running around in the dark, mindless, as long as we are in hiding. I remember very well how that film ended.' Severus was referring to 'An American Werewolf in London'; they had watched it together the night before. 'The Muggle Police will show up, and you'll be dead before you know it.'

'Thank you, Severus.' Remus smiled. It was surprising Severus had taken the initiative, brewing the Wolfsbane potion. 'I cannot say how grateful I am. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?'

Severus didn't reply but put a small plate in front of Remus. There were two chocolate biscuits on the white-and-blue patterned plate. Severus still said nothing, but there was a trace of a smile on his pallid face.

The plate just stood there between them in the silence. Remus didn't know what to say. It couldn't be a coincidence, otherwise Severus would have said something, not just sat there. _Who am I going to shag to get a decent cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit in this dump_ , Severus had asked. Then there had been chocolate biscuits - and the thinly veiled flirting. Remus' heart beat faster. He hadn't even had a minute to consider how and why he in any way could have developed and nurtured positive feelings for the unpleasant man he had known most of his life, and least of all Remus has considered to act on them.

He raised his eyes to meet Severus'. The coldness had gone, and a strange, hesitant look had replaced it. Remus considered if the small plate was Severus' backward way of asking if Remus had meant as much as a word of what he had said during their banter about shagging and tea and well - chocolate biscuits. It seemed Remus had to make a decision, maybe one that would affect their relationship, the budding, tiny trace of friendship that had grown between them, something different for their rearranged lives. It was a risk. This could either ruin everything, or maybe create something new. Remus breathed out loudly. He reached for the plate, smiling; a sweet, wide smile. 'Thank you, Severus. I love chocolate biscuits.' Remus took a bite. 'I like dark chocolate,' he said, before he took yet another bite. 'I think it is the bitterness...'

'Oh, do you really, Lupin?' Severus' voice lacked the sarcastic note. 'Dark and bitter, hm?'

'Maybe you'd like the other one?' Remus held out the plate for Severus to take the last biscuit. 'I got the impression you liked biscuits too?' Remus bit his lip, aware he might have too frank, too open.

'Occasionally, yes.' Severus' thin mouth twisted into something recognisable as a smile. 'I think it is the... sweet taste. Too much is nauseating, but a few... at the right time - that, I would like.'

'Ah,' Remus said, wondering if he dared ask Severus if they really were talking about food or something entirely different. 'And, er- how did you come to like biscuits?' he managed. This was a bit too surreal, but Remus intended to benefit from Severus' sudden openness, no matter how strange it was. Clearly, Severus was trying to ask Remus similar questions without losing face, if it turned out Remus had not meant anything with the flirting.

'I have liked them from I was very young,' Severus said casually, reaching for the teapot and Remus' empty cup. 'There was a time when I really didn't eat any. I got one that was bad, and it ruined my taste for them for quite some time. But lately - and rather unexpected, I must say - I have... I seem to have regained my earlier affinity for... chocolate biscuits.' He held out the full teacup for Remus to take.

'I'm glad you have found a new appetite for them,' Remus said and took the cup, letting a finger brush over Severus' thin hand, almost accidentally. Severus' eyes widened, but he didn't say anything. The skin felt soft under Remus' touch. 'I don't think I am saying too much when I admit I find them more delicious than I'd have thought,' Remus said, his voice low. 'I wasn't aware of how much I liked them, until recently. Maybe I have missed something by not tasting them before?' The wolf peeked out, and made Remus echo the hunger the wolf felt, biscuits or no biscuits. The wolf wanted Severus, and since Remus really didn't mind, he didn't fight it too much. 'Maybe later, after dinner, we can watch another film?' Remus suggested, hoping Severus wouldn't either flee or hex him into something nasty, 'I have more werewolf films, if they weren't all destroyed. I'll have to check.'

'A... film?' Dark skies would have been more attractive than Severus' expression as his small smile disappeared and was replaced with a sour grimace.

'A film. I have this wonderful horror film - 'The Howling.' It simply calls for cuddling up in the sofa with, er- chocolate biscuits. Although, if you prefer your biscuits eaten... casually, without the...' Remus was sure his whole body expressed the longing of the wolf that instant. It was not just release it hungered for, but for the closeness of pack, of care and well.. hot, steaming biscuits too.

'No.' Severus put his cup down and stretched his legs, a bit like a thin black cat. His voice was a silken purr. 'I do like to be comfortable when I eat them, to... prolong the enjoyment. Your suggestion is satisfactory, wolf.'

Remus' heart thudded harder than ever and the wolf seemed very pleased.

 

Later, when the darkness slowly engulfed the house, they ate dinner, the mood between them half-way amiable. They kept to neutral (sort of) topics, and Severus explained how it was possible to type on the computer and make it send things - things like aconite and other useful ingredients. Remus knew the Muggle world, but he had never really learned about computers. He thought they sounded a bit like magic.

After dinner, while Severus did the dishes, Remus turned the small cardboard box that held his belongings upside down, finding several werewolf films. Remus found them amusing, since the Muggles who made them usually got so many facts wrong. More than once, Remus wondered how the directors had imagined a seven foot tall, skinny and bald wolf-man was going to roam the woods without being discovered. Muggles were not that clever at times. 'I've found 'The Howling',' he shouted, as he put back the books in the box. 'Do you still want to watch it?'

Severus', 'yes' came, muted, through the door to the kitchen. Slight sounds of rattling china accompanied it.

As Severus served tea (with chocolate biscuits) Remus sat down in the sofa. He felt both relieved and very nervous as Severus sat down next to him. Remus didn't think their discussion had been anything but a probe to Severus. However, the way their relationship had altered in a few days was a bit like seeing changes behave like the Hogwarts Express: hard to get up and running, and impossible to stop at full steam. Remus would really like to know where, exactly, the train was going and how fast.

They had their tea and watched the film in silence, with only a few comments about the werewolves. Remus liked the film. It was rather old, but bloodcurdling and quite over the top. At a point in the film, a scary, shocking moment made Severus jerk and grab Remus' thigh.

Severus did not move his hand until the film was over.


	8. The Wolf is Loose

'Toast?' Severus turned around with a piece of bread in one hand. It was rather early, and Remus hadn't slept well, so breakfast was indeed welcome. He had been awake a long time after he had put the lights out. Contrary to what one would believe it wasn't the thought of the stalker that made Remus unable to sleep. No, it had been the casual hand that had rested on his leg for an hour. After the film ended, Severus had just announced he was going to bed, somehow not recognising what he had done. But the spot where Severus' hand had lain felt as if the caress had burned itself into Remus' skin, making him long for more. As always with Severus, nothing could be rushed. It was by the pace Severus had set, or not at all. Remus had known him long enough to know precisely how stubborn the man could be.

'Yes, please. Toast would be nice.' Remus pulled a chair out and sat down. The kitchen was warm and inviting, cosy, compared to the icy interior of the sitting room. Severus had possibly tried to recreate his potions lab; there were pots and jars and gallipots stored on open shelves, and the walls had a dark, mossy green colour. Severus had made a full breakfast, and Remus felt the hunger of the wolf stir: food and mate, that was what it wanted. Remus wondered if it had been a mistake to allow the wolf to take part in his life, but the smell of bacon, sausages and eggs drove the thought away as Severus put the plate in front of him. 'Thank you,' he said and moaned as he took the first mouthful of perfectly prepared sausage.

They ate in silence (since it was impolite to talk and chew at the same time), and Remus didn't stop eating before the last crumb was gone. 'Merlin, it was good,' Remus sighed, satisfied and full. He leaned back in the chair, reaching for his coffee. 'I don't think I can move.'

'Leaving all the work to me? You really have changed your style, wolf. So demanding all of the sudden.' Severus stood and begun to collect the plates. He put them in the sink, returning to the table. He walked around it, leaning over Remus' back as he reached for the teapot. 'I wonder when you are going to get rough as well as lazy,' Severus murmured, as he let his hand slide over Remus' neck. 'I don't think I'd mind terribly.'

Remus sighed and leaned into the touch. Severus' fingers were cool, but not cold. A thumb moved, a small caress, and Remus tilted his head a bit, as if to urge Severus to continue. 'You are aware how difficult you make it to control the beast, don't you?' Remus said. 'Even if there are almost two weeks till full moon... it has been too long since...'

'I thought you had done it with that woman of yours,' Severus said and leaned down to nibble on Remus' neck. 'But maybe the child isn't yours? You couldn't get it up with her?'

'Damn it, Severus!' Remus turned abruptly and grabbed Severus' wrist. 'You are doing this on purpose!' Remus was surprised how easily Severus manipulated him into this needy being; it was a bit disconcerting, to say it mildly. Remus had always been able to keep his calm, even under pressure, but this new Severus... the same and still so different... he spoke to the wolf in ways Remus didn't understand - and the wolf did listen. Two against one - it wasn't fair!

'There is one condition before we do this,' Severus said, his voice controlled. He didn't try to pull out of Remus' grip. 'It means nothing, do you understand? It is nothing but release and comfort, and when we have solved this stalker mystery, we go our separate ways, just as we had planned before you spotted me in the crowd. You go home, and the only contact between us will be your monthly supply of Wolfsbane. I wouldn't want you to compromise yourself by biting a sodding Muggle. But I cannot _afford_ to have a lover, I want to be left alone and your presence makes it difficult. I wanted to stay away from the wizarding world, and I keep to that wish. It includes keeping away from werewolves as well. Are we clear?'

Remus was silent for a while. This was all it was, all it could ever be? A few weeks of mutual pleasure, then nothing? He was intensely aware of Severus' body against his own, of Severus' one hand, still resting on Remus' back, rubbing softly against it, softening the harsh words. 'Mutual pleasure as long as we're together?' Remus frowned. He had never been one for casual connections; his friends and the people who actually liked him enough were too precious to him to risk a friendship for a night of lust and release. But with Severus? They weren't friends. The only thing they had in common was the background they were both fleeing from, and obviously the lack of a proper partner. No matter Remus was attracted to Severus, and the wolf had already decided what it wanted, this could probably be done without too much trouble. Remus just had to decide whether he wanted what Severus offered enough to risk getting hurt.

'We both need... comfort and sex,' Remus said, reluctantly. 'I won't be against giving you that.' It wasn't precisely what Remus had wished for, but who knew when it would happen next time that a (relatively) attractive male (who knew about werewolves) would proposition Remus? Remus' guessed that 'not in this lifetime' would be an adequate answer.

'Well,' Severus purred. 'Why don't you let go of all that hard won self-control and give it to me, then? Or has it become a habit to suppress all your needs? Maybe you can't ev-'

Remus was out of the chair before Severus could finish the sentence. The wolf wagged its tail by the loud, 'Ooompf!' it gave as Severus was slammed up against the wall. 'Shut up,' Remus barked. 'If you want it rough, you'll get it rough, but I am not going to listen to any more of your teasing and nagging. Is _that_ understood?'

Severus's mouth was half open and his eyes shone. His breath was loud already, and Remus was sure Severus enjoyed this much more that he let Remus know. 'Yes.' A satisfied smirk spread on his face. 'Can I say something?'

Remus stared at Severus, almost taken aback by this mix of arrogance and submissive behaviour. 'Go on,' Remus said, and pressed Severus even harder against the wall.

'Fuck me.' The crude request was underlined by a thigh pushed between Remus' legs. 'Now. Against the wall.'

It wasn't about tenderness and comfort, or about making love. There was a raw need in Severus' request, one that was mirrored by the wolf and its base needs. Remus lost whatever control he had ever had over the wolf outside full moon. He didn't speak, just forced Severus to turn. Remus grabbed Severus' hips and ground roughly against his arse. Severus had a very nice backside, Remus discovered. 'Oil,' he demanded. 'Where?'

Severus held out a hand and summoned a small tube from a shelf. Remus almost ripped it from him, growling loudly. 'Pull your robe up,' he demanded. Remus' cock was throbbing, and opening his trousers, pulling it out, felt like relief in itself. Quickly, he smeared the oil over himself, then pouring a healthy amount over his fingers. Severus had done what Remus told him, and stood, the robe around his waist, with slightly spread legs, waiting for Remus' fingers.

'Please, Remus,' Severus just managed, and spread his legs more. 'Need you!'

'So it's Remus now?' Remus slipped two fingers inside Severus. He whimpered loudly, clenching around the intruding digits.

'Deeper,' Severus moaned. 'And I don't care about your name, wolf, as long as you are doing this to me.'

'At your service,' Remus murmured and licked Severus' neck above the robe's high collar. Severus tasted a bit like dark chocolate, and Remus nibbled at the skin, biting slightly as he moved his fingers inside Severus' hot arse. Severus leaned against the wall with one arm, using the other to keep the robe away, pushing against the hand as Remus began pumping the fingers in and out. The wolf roared; the scents and smells and the touch of another body, something it had been denied for so long, made it want to take and rip and conquer. It wanted, wanted all it could have. Remus felt both strong and powerless that moment.

'Enough,' Severus managed, 'put it inside me, I'm ready!'

So was Remus, and the long, slow slide into the incredible warmth and tightness almost undid him. By Gryffindor, it had been too long since he had felt like that. He let out a deep, satisfied growl when he finally was buried to the hilt inside Severus.

Severus shook, as if he was trying to hold back a premature orgasm, his whole body tensing. 'Just do it,' he groaned. 'Rough and quick.'

No reason to argue with that, and Remus withdrew as far as he could without slipping out, then thrust in as hard as possible.

Severus gave a loud cry. 'Yes! God, yes!' he moaned and his hand scrabbled limply over the wall, as if searching for something to hold on to.

Remus just tightened his grip with one hand on Severus' hip, then grabbed a good handful of Severus' hair as he thrust in once more. 'This is what you want?'

'Please,' Severus begged. 'Please!'

Remus let the wolf loose on Severus. It was a flurry of almost brutal thrusts and teeth and Severus' violent moans. Remus had never been more aroused in his entire life; it was as if his lust and the sensations it evoked were increased by that of the wolf. The inhibitions that had left Remus a tender and careful lover disappeared gradually as Severus writhed and cried and wanted 'more' and 'harder' and 'make me feel you next week'. Remus only regained a bit of control as Severus sobbed his orgasm out, shivering under his body. He bit down on Severus' wool-clad shoulder and the cry - a mix of pain and pleasure - made Remus shove himself inside, once, twice. Then he couldn't hold back and came, growling and moaning, clinging to the man who had hated him for more than a decade.

He leaned his head against Severus' shoulder, trying to breathe. The release had been wonderful, and Remus tried to convey the feeling by letting his fingers stray softly over Severus' hand.

'You weren't too bad either,' Severus managed. 'Felt good to let go of the beast?'

'Yours or mine?' Remus said, not offended. He knew what he had done, and he wasn't sure how to feel about it yet. However, even if Severus had been disgusted by the werewolf, he didn't seem exactly appalled by this aspect of it. Remus hoped that Severus would explain it to him one day, how he could both be attracted and repulsed by something that was basically born of the same curse.

'I am not the one with a raging monster inside. Now that you have your wish granted, maybe we can do this in a civilized manner next time? In the bed, for instance?'

Remus slipped out of Severus, carefully. 'My wish? As I remember it you were the one begging for it.' Remus sighed. This was Severus Snape, and all resistance and debate were futile instruments in the light of Severus' logic. 'You are never going to stop, are you?'

'I don't think so. How do you feel about doing it in the bed?'

'Again?' Remus laughed. 'I'm not twenty, you know.'

'But your tongue and fingers haven't fallen off yet?'

'True,' Remus said. 'Lead the way.' He definitely didn't mind doing it again. But he still had this tiny, nagging feeling of emptiness pooling in his stomach.


	9. A Picnic

Remus stretched languidly as he opened his eyes. For a moment he was utterly confused by the room's white walls and the dark blue curtains, then a pleasant warmth against his back reminded where he was, and the memories of a long night of physical exercise welled up in his mind. Merlin's beard! Remus had always known that Severus' cold exterior harboured a passionate mind. No matter what Severus did, he did it with passion - no matter if it was studying the Dark Arts or dedicating himself to bring Voldemort down; no matter if he hated or loved - or made love.

It had been a revelation to Remus. He knew the passion was there, but it was the first time he had ever seen Severus let the passion loose, the first time he had seen him unrestrained and wild. Severus had never before shown any feelings but anger and contempt in Remus' presence. Remus had suspected Severus of only being able to feel negative feelings. Damned it, how he had been wrong. Under Remus' body, Severus had turned into a sensual being, never beautiful or even remotely handsome, but in the throes of passion, Remus had discovered a Severus who only made him feel more attracted to the reserved man.

Remus considered whether it had been a grave mistake to accept Severus' suggestion. Somehow Severus had revealed qualities that made Remus wish for more than just a few weeks in Snape's bed. Severus was insatiable, and for the first time in many years, the wolf had its needs stilled. No matter how rough and dominant Remus had been, Severus had begged for more - and more times. Remus was pleasantly exhausted, sore in all the right places, and he was certain Severus would be too, when he woke up. Remus was content, and he enjoyed the feeling of deep satisfaction and the warm body pressed against his. Severus had slung a thin arm around Remus' waist and didn't seem inclined to let go. It wouldn't be uncomfortable or unwanted to wake up like that every morning.

The duvet was warm, and Remus really didn't want to leave the bed and Severus' embrace. To just lie here, in Severus' arms, reminded Remus to enjoy the small pleasures of life when he could have them. A few weeks from now, he would be back in his poor room, lonely and cold. Remus moved a bit so he could rest his head on Severus' shoulder. This was so different from what he had with Tonks, and no matter how much he missed her friendship, she could never be what Remus had wanted: someone who was his equal. Someone like Severus, a small voice in his head told him. Someone like Severus.

A dark, soft voice dragged Remus out of his musings. 'So you're awake now, wolf?'

Remus could feel Severus nuzzle his hair. It was an odd, tender caress, not really what Remus had expected. Honestly, he had been prepared to be kicked out of bed by a very grumpy Severus. 'Mhmm. But I'm very comfortable.' Hesitatingly, Remus slid an arm around Severus' waist, turning to face his bed mate. 'I can't remember having had more satisfactory sex in my life,' Remus murmured. 'It still make me ache in a very pleasant way.'

'It makes _you_ ache?' Severus asked and pulled the duvet down a bit. 'What do you think these,' Severus flashed an impressive collection of bite marks spread over his neck and chest; more than one had bled a bit, 'feel like?' Severus covered himself. 'I can mention other places... you even marked me... there.' Severus smiled a smug, content smile.

'Oh Lord, Severus! I'm-'

'Don't even say the word,' Severus warned. 'I might forgive you if-'

'Anything!' Remus was shaken. He had really acted out one or two fantasies he had held back before. He hadn't meant to hurt Severus like that.

Severus rolled around in the bed, hovering over Remus, holding himself up on one elbow. The smiled widened. 'I'll forgive you if you promise to do it again and,' Severus raised an eyebrow haughtily, 'if you make me breakfast.'

'I think I can manage that.' Remus grinned foolishly and stopped himself from kissing Severus. He didn't think it would be appreciated.

 

After breakfast, Severus had a suggestion. He pulled Remus over to the fridge. 'You better prepare something we can bring for a small expedition into the dark, vast depths of your empty flat.'

'Oh, a picnic? I didn't know you were such a romantic, Severus.' Remus pulled the fridge open. 'I suppose you'd like to stalk the stalker?'

Severus nodded. 'I want to find out if he returns, that way we can determine whether we have thrown him off the trail or not.' Severus crossed his arms and leaned against a cupboard. 'If we're lucky we might be able to follow him and find out where he lives - and who he is, of course.'

Remus prepared a picnic hamper while Severus went to find some of the electronic things he liked so much. Severus had repaired the laptop by putting more electronic knick-knacks inside it, something that had relieved Remus quite a bit. He had felt bad that Severus' computer had suffered. The thing was rather expensive, and definitely not something Remus would have liked to replace if it had died because of him.

They put the bag and the hamper in the car, and Severus added a couple of blankets and pillows. 'We might have to stay until tomorrow, this time I am not leaving the flat. I think we are going to set up a few small wards, I am inclined to believe that your stalker knows you're a wizard, so whether he can detect them or not doesn't really matter.'

'As long as we make sure no one gets hurt.' Remus was a bit worried. After all the house was full of Muggles who really didn't need to be exposed to the violent stalker. He opened the car door and got in. 'I'd rather not fight anybody inside the house.'

Severus drove slowly down the small street. 'If he has been asking questions, he knows you are not there, but supposedly in Greece. If your landlord has talked to him we can just wait a couple of days and you can get back from your holiday, then ask if your friend has been there while you were away, without making anyone suspicious.'

They parked the car carefully, half a street down from Remus' flat. Again they carefully approached the house, but this time there was no trace of the unbidden visitor. Remus' shoulders relaxed, and the tense wrinkle on his brow disappeared. The flat looked exactly as they had left it: empty, apart from the bed with the ripped mattress and the sturdy bookcase that had been more or less indestructible. Remus closed his eyes, as if to keep out the sight of what little was left of his few belongings.

'Stop mourning, wolf. It is not going to help you.' Severus stepped up behind Remus and wrapped his arms around Remus' waist. It felt comforting. 'You've managed things much worse than this, Remus. You think you are lying down now, but you are not. You are going to keep standing, it is not the end of the world - and you are not alone.'

'I know,' Remus said, once more watching Severus Snape reveal one of his many layers. Remus hadn't thought Severus had any empathy, whatsoever. Clearly Remus had been wrong.

'Now go set up a few wards.' Soft lips slid over Remus' neck in a brief kiss. Severus let go of Remus. 'Both upstairs and downstairs, we don't know how he's going to get in this time.' Severus opened the bag. 'I'm setting up the webcam. Maybe we can get a better picture of him this time, since we know the spot where he likes to watch from.'

 

They had brought books, and they used the time to read, waiting for the night to come. Darkness fell, and they had to put the books away, since Remus' apartment was supposed to be empty, and turning on enough light to read would tell it was not. Remus sat on the bed with a blanket around his shoulders. They had turned the mattress so the springs didn't stick out, and Remus was not that uncomfortable. The curtains were open, enough for Remus to watch the moon on its voyage over the dark winter sky. There was still more than a week until next full moon, and Remus hoped Severus had received the ingredients for the Wolfsbane potion before then; it might ease his transformation, just a little, if he had taken the potion at least a few days before.

'A Knut for your thoughts.' Severus' voice was low and soft as the velvet darkness. He stood and left the corner of the sink he had been leaning against while he watched the ever-changing pictures from the webcam.

Remus could feel the mattress dip as Severus sat down next to him. 'Still worried about how to continue your abysmal life?' The tone wasn't entirely unfriendly, but it still hurt.

'You may think it is abysmal, but it is what I have, Severus.' Remus pulled the blanket tighter around himself. 'At least I don't have to face the prejudice and the alienation in the Muggle world.'

'True,' Severus said, and moved a bit closer. 'But is this what you wanted?'

'No.' Remus could just as well be honest. 'But I cannot afford to want.' Remus thought of Severus who couldn't 'afford to have a lover'. 'I suppose growing up is to discover how many things one cannot have.'

'And if you could choose... what would you have, Remus? Apart from not being cursed.'

A hand slid over Remus' knee, a light caress. Remus smiled, an invisible smile in the dark. If he could have anything? 'A lover, I think. Someone who loves me, and I can love in return. A man. Not just any man, but an equal partner. One who accepts me as I am.' He paused. 'My child. Enough money to not worry over a broken table or whether I can afford a book or decent food.' Remus felt the pain of the loss of his family even harder now, when he had lost everything else. His few and simple wishes had reminded him that he would never have someone to help him fulfill them. It hurt more than he liked it to.

It was as if Severus had sensed the deep sadness in Remus' heart. 'Stop tormenting yourself you idiot wolf. Here...' Severus put an arm around Remus' shoulder and dragged him closer. 'No wonder you are unhappy when you do nothing but whine. If you want something, stand up for yourself and get it.'

'Easy for you to say,' Remus murmured, his head hidden at Severus' neck. The other man's warmth felt comforting. 'You are not a raging monster once a month.'

'Some would argue and say I am a monster all month,' Severus said bitterly. 'As if I never felt anything but anger. But still it won't keep me from reaching for what I want.'

'One could be fooled there,' Remus murmured and entangled his legs with Severus. 'But you still chose to leave the wizarding world.'

'It had nothing I wanted anymore.' Severus took another blanket and wrapped it around them before he pulled Remus with him down on the bed. 'Let's try to get a bit of sleep, wolf. We're safe behind the wards.'

Remus nodded and let Severus arrange himself against his back. Severus' breath felt warm and calming and good; little puffs of air on Remus' neck. 'Do you always get what you want?' he asked Severus just before sleep overwhelmed him.

'No.' Severus' words were almost sad. 'Twice, I had to let go. I am not making that mistake again. I am careful to want only what I know I can have.' Severus' voice faded, and Remus heard no more.


	10. And a Walk in the Park

'I think we need help,' Remus pushed the iron gate open and began examining the shrubbery in the dim morning light, 'if we are going to set a trap for him.' Remus stuck his head almost into the middle of a rhododendron. It was raining and the rain played a merry tune on the leaves. 'Maybe you have an idea whom to ask?' Remus said, his head disappearing into another bush.

'I don't think so. Unless you want to announce your non-death widely in the wizarding world. But of course,' Severus threw his hands in the air. 'Do as you like. Just don't drag me into it.'

Remus straightened up. 'Now listen, Severus Snape! The stalker has been here. This place reeks of him, and you haven't got as much as a shadow of him on any of those electric pictures. He is smart and determined, and this situation is not entirely pleasant, I assure you! It is fun to be the hunter, but not quite as entertaining being the hunted.'

Severus stepped closer. 'If you think you can convince me by playing alpha werewolf, you can just as well give up. I know what I'm doing, Lupin. There is a reason I stand here today, and not lie buried in some godforsaken place - very, very dead. We don't need anybody else involved in this, and definitely not any wizards!'

The rain was cold and a few drops ran down Remus' neck and made him shiver. The scent of the stalker was strong, as if the man had relieved himself on the spot. It proved to Remus that the stalker had been there for rather a long time. 'Sooner or later he is going to find me again. I really don't want that, Severus, I think you can understand. I don't want you to be put in danger, either.'

'Because I am not in the slightest danger, sharing my house with a known werewolf - a werewolf who has a psychopathic wizard chasing after him? No, Lupin... I am surely as safe as if I lived in a Gringott's vault.'

Brushing a few drops away from his nose, Remus tied his scarf around his neck. 'It's cold. Can't we at least get in the car, if we are to discuss this?' He really didn't want to listen to Severus' snarky comments in the middle of a small park in Kensington. Actually, he didn't want to listen to them in Guildford either, but at least it was dry and warm.

'And I who thought werewolves loved the outdoor life. Maybe you can just find a nice shrub to live under, in case the stalker comes back to your flat?' Severus' tone was back to the arrogant, patronising tone he had used as a weapon against Remus at Hogwarts.

'Didn't you sleep well,' Remus asked softly, a wry smile accompanying the words. 'The bed was a bit narrow, I admit.'

'What the hell has the size of your horrible bed to do with your idiocy? What do you count me for? The sodding Princess on the Pea?' Severus turned around. 'If you have finished your sniffing around, maybe we can get back to Guildford?' Severus glared at Remus.

'I just thought you might have got out on the wrong side of it. You certainly are in a pleasant mood this morning.' Remus knew he was stoking the fire, but he didn't understand why Severus was so angry with him. He didn't recall having done anything wrong. All he recalled was the almost open conversation they had had before they fell asleep in each others' arms. Maybe that was why. Too much intimacy, too much information. Too much of the secret, secluded Severus who hid under layers of black clothes and harsh hostility.

It just earned Remus an even angrier look, before Severus strode off towards the car. Remus had to run to keep up with him. It wouldn't be below Severus to just drive away and leave Remus standing in the rain.

The drive back was not very pleasant. Severus was silent, and Remus just stared out in the rain. He hoped Severus would thaw a bit, it was hard enough to feel like an intruder without being reminded how much Severus didn't like him being there. But Remus' heart ached for Severus as well. He could understand how his presence was an annoyance to a man who clearly wanted to be left alone. It was always Severus who was left with the unpleasant tasks, the spying and the wounds and the killing.

They went inside the house, Remus carrying the hamper. Severus didn't say a word. He just turned and looked at Remus, the black eyes dead and cold. Severus disappeared into his small office with the laptop. Remus gave up. It wasn't his task to make Severus happy, not that he would mind, but he wasn't here to make friends. Severus had showed him that very clearly.

Remus shuffled around in the kitchen, putting the remains of their 'picnic' back in the fridge, did the dishes and considered if he should cook something for lunch. The water was running and Remus didn't hear Severus, he just turned around, barely avoiding to bump into the man.

'Come, wolf,' Severus just said, and his eyes weren't dead. There was an intensity flaring in them, a roaring fire. A fire Remus had slaked once before.

They ended up in the bedroom, Severus already out of his robe, Remus on his back, trying to get his Muggle jeans off while Severus already had his hands inside Remus' underwear. Severus seemed almost desperate in his need, and Remus wondered if the man really was so far from his own desires that he had to pick fights to get what he wanted without asking for it in proper English. Then, Severus bent down to take Remus' cock in his mouth, and for a while, Remus couldn't manage any coherent thoughts as he watched Severus swallow it. Remus' hands were buried in Severus' hair, and his breathing was loud and ragged already. No matter how sour and angry Severus was, the outlet of those feelings felt bloody marvellous.

Remus turned a bit in bed to be able to get his hand on Severus' thick cock. It was hard and heavy between his legs, and Severus moaned loudly around Remus' cock - something that didn't exactly lessen Remus' arousal. Remus licked a finger and rubbed it over Severus' hole. It was loose and prepared, slick with oil already. Merlin, Severus was... incredible. He couldn't get Remus to take him quick enough? Before Remus was able to consider Severus' motives, he had let go and was straddling Remus, obviously very ready.

'Please, Remus,' Severus groaned. 'Please?' He was reaching behind him, trying to get a hold of Remus' cock so he could impale himself on it.

'No.' Remus would have none of that. He wasn't just someone Severus could use to relieve his tension. Either Remus participated in this, or Severus would get nothing. Remus wouldn't just lie there and feel... used.

Severus hesitated. 'You don't want it, wolf? So now you've decided you're not gay anyway?' Severus raked a nail down Remus' chest. 'I thought so.' His tone was mocking.

Remus growled. 'Oh, I'm going to show you exactly how gay I am, infuriating man!' In an instant Remus had flipped Severus on his back, and positioned himself. The look in Severus' eyes made Remus even more aroused; Severus wanted this so badly, Remus had no doubt, and the words he was unable to say were spoken clearly in the way he looked at Remus. It was enough. Remus sank inside Severus in one long slide, and the way Severus whimpered under him made the wolf go wild. 'You are... oh... driving me... oh, god... Severus! You drive me insane!' Remus moaned loudly and grabbed Severus' wrists, keeping them in a firm grip as he thrust in, hard. Severus felt so bloody good and tight.

Whimpering, Severus moved with Remus' thrusts; his breath was hot and loud in Remus' ear. He threw his head back, baring a long taut line of slender neck. 'Please,' Severus groaned once more. 'Please!'

Remus had no doubt what Severus begged for, and the wolf wanted it too. Remus bit down on the pale skin, adding new marks to the fading ones. The marks meant something to Severus. If he had known what they meant to the wolf, he might not have been nearly as interested. In his arousal, Remus reminded himself that it would be harder to let Severus go, harder every time he marked him as his. The beast inside him didn't care one Knut. It just wanted.

Giving in to both Severus and the wolf, Remus fucked the man beneath him as hard as he could manage, using teeth and nails on him, until Severus was a sobbing mess of need. They both came together, and Remus' moans were just as loud as Severus'.

After, when they had both caught their breath, Severus seemed content and dazed. He allowed Remus to do what he wanted the most: he pulled Severus into his arms and stroked him, trying to give Severus the comfort he refused to ask for.

Lord, the man was a complicated mess.

'I still think we need help,' Remus said after a while, risking to wake up Severus' anger. 'What if I can find someone who is not connected to the wizarding world? I think I have an idea.'

'Is that so?' Severus' voice was tired and soft. 'I suppose you won't leave me alone until you've had your way with me in that direction too?' He didn't move away from Remus' embrace. It was probably a good sign.

'I will never risk to blow your cover, Severus. I am grateful for what you have already done for me.' Remus rubbed Severus' back softly. 'I really appreciate...it.'

Severus sighed. There was a trace of annoyance in his voice. 'Tell me, then.'

'When Arthur was in St Mungo's... you know after Nagini bit him? I met a newly made werewolf there... David. I helped him get Wolfsbane through the Ministry after Mungo's let him out. His family would have nothing to do with him, and he... we kept in touch, until I had to join Greyback. He has no love left for the wizarding world, he keeps to himself as much as possible. I think we might ask him for help.'

'Another werewolf?' Severus sat up. 'I wonder which deities I have offended since I am surrounded by Dark Creatures all the time. Salazar be damned! Can't a man get some peace and quiet in his life! Or maybe you could just bite me come full moon, so we can get it over with.'

'Now you're being unreasonable. I do not find it amusing, you know.' Remus closed a hand around Severus' upper arm, as if to emphasise how little he liked Severus saying such a thing. 'And David is not a danger, Severus. He has been taking Wolfsbane for years now. Not your quality Wolfsbane, I admit, but still.'

'I knew I should have driven away from you that evening. I think I've said it before.'

'You have. But it is a bit late to mourn that fact now.' Remus pulled Severus closer, hard. The wolf rejoiced the promise of more pack members. 'So, what will it be?'

'All right.' Severus sneered, and he pulled his arm out of Remus' grip. 'But don't make me regret this decision as well.'

'I won't,' Remus said, and put his hand back where it had been, this time stroking Severus softly.


	11. Disturbance

Severus had been quiet all day. He had been working in his office since breakfast and Remus hadn't seen him at all. He had no idea what Severus was doing, and he didn't want to disturb; Remus' unwanted company would probably just make Severus' cranky mood worse. It seemed, though, as if yesterday's discontent had disappeared, Severus had been remotely polite - even before he had had his morning coffee. Alone, Remus had curled up in Severus' deep sofa with a warm blanket, a good book and a large pot of cinnamon tea. That was where he sat when Severus finally emerged from the depths of his cluttered office.

'Is that tea?' Severus leaned against the door frame, studying Remus with a slight smile on his face.

'Would you like some? It is cinnamon.' Remus was getting up. 'I can fetch you a cup.'

'Sit. I am perfectly able to find one myself.' Severus waved his wand and summoned one of the pretty blue and white mugs. 'Are you really adjusting so much to the Muggle world, Lupin? One should think you hadn't forgotten how to flick a wand.' He sat down next to Remus. 'It's a bit cold in here,' he said, and moved closer, slipping under the blanket Remus had covered himself with.

Remus tried to hold back a smile. The fire was roaring, since Remus had made certain the fireplace was stuffed with as much wood as it could take. Yet another of Severus' underhanded ways to get what he wanted, Remus supposed. It would be too much, of course, to ask Remus if he wanted to cuddle. A Snape would never sink so low. Remus rearranged the blanket so it covered them both. He put his book in his lap and casually put his arm on the backrest, then slowly let a hand rub over Severus' shoulder. 'Yes,' he said, still trying to be serious. 'It is a bit chilly in here. Maybe it is the icy colour that makes it feel that way?'

'I happen to like blue,' Severus huffed. 'There is nothing wrong with it.' He managed to lean back and move a little to the side, now snugly pressed against Remus' chest.

'Oh, I wouldn't dare to suggest there was anything wrong. It is just a bit like the inside of a snow palace, pretty, but quite cold.' Remus almost didn't dare breathe. It felt wonderful to have Severus sitting here in his arms, but Remus was sure the man would flee at a wrong word or movement.

'Ah.' Severus ' hand had found its way into Remus' hair, and thin fingers combed through it, pulling it slightly. 'What are you reading?'

'Watership Down. It's about rabbits. And survival.' Remus had read Richard Adams's book before, and had enjoyed it immensely, although reading it always made him hungry.

'Surviving rabbits?' Severus asked. 'You are not entirely normal, are you, Lupin?'

Grinning, Remus said, 'Probably not. But it is an interesting book, about a band of rabbits, setting out to find a new haven. It has one or two similarities to how things developed in our world, what with Voldemort and his attempt to create a dictatorship. ' Remus cocked his head. 'And look who's talking! At least I don't have a penchant for tragic heroines, dying from poverty and illness in an abysmal attic in bloody Poland.'

Severus moved even closer. 'Really? One should think you'd like the story. So... recognisable from your own life.'

'Now you're being nasty.' Remus grabbed a handful of Severus' hair and pulled his head back. 'You don't think I've had enough of misery and poverty?' He entangled his fingers in Severus' long hair, rubbing a thumb over the pale cheek. 'Actually, it surprised me you wanted to watch a play like that.'

'Maybe I just like to be reminded of how crappy other people's lives are. Makes mine look much better.' Severus smiled a crooked smile. 'Or it made me think of you,' he said, sarcastically.

'Hmm, one could get the idea you were recreating your own snow palace here; no friends, no connections... and that colour on the wall.' Remus knew he was treading a dangerous path. Anytime, Severus could change into a hedgehog and leave the very pleasant embrace they shared. Rubbing his hand over Severus' back, Remus said softly, 'I'm glad you have let me in. I think keeping you warm is a very pleasant task.'

'Cut the soppiness, wolf. I am not good company, and we both know it.'

'I happen to like it. Some of the time.' Remus leaned in and nuzzled Severus' hair. 'There are benefits, and I am not thinking of sex.' The sex was maddening, wonderful, wild. But this, Remus thought, to sit quietly together, exchanging caresses and sharing tea and discussing literature and art... If only...

'Don't get attached, wolfie. As soon as we're done, you're out. You can go wag your tail for that other werewolf.' There was a tinge of sadness in Severus' voice. He turned his head and kissed Remus' hand. 'Until then, you can have what you want, but not for longer than that.'

'I know,' Remus said, and decided to take yet another risk. 'I wish it wasn't the case.'

'We play by the rules.' Severus rubbed his cheek against Remus' fingers. He looked up and the sadness his word had contained, was reflected in his eyes. 'Maybe I wish things could be different too,' he said softly. 'But you knew my conditions when we began this.'

Remus cupped Severus' face, leaning forward a bit, before he stopped himself. Severus had not initiated any initiative to kiss Remus, and it might not be appreciated. Kissing was too intimate; something none of them could afford. Instead, Remus leaned against the armrest and pulled Severus down to lie with him. It made the other man sigh contentedly. 'I did agree,' Remus replied. 'And I am not going to ask you change them. I just wanted you to know.'

'The other wolf,' Severus said, changing the topic abruptly. 'Where do we find him? You know where he lives?'

'I know where he lived three years ago, so I suppose he won't be too hard to find.' Remus followed Severus' lead - there would be no more talking about what they had together. 'It is not as if we can ask the Werewolf Support Service,' he continued. 'But he's a half-blood, so he might be in one of the Muggle registers, if we can't find him in another way. His father was a MacMillan, related to Sirius in some way, far back, but his mother is Muggle-born.

'Thank you _so_ much for the thorough lecture about his ancestry. I don't care if he's the illegitimate son of Voldemort and a Hippogriff as long as he is able to help so we can get this over with.' Severus gave up nagging and nibbled carefully at Remus' ear.

'You're welcome. Just to feel we're actually doing something serious to find the stalker, could we go talk to David tomorrow? If we're to set up surveillance in my flat again, we can't do it alone. Not unless you want to be stuck with me in a tiny room for several days.'

'I know I shouldn't listen to you, Lupin. Unfortunately you might have a point. But if this draws attention to me being alive, I am going to wring your neck and use your hide as a hearthrug.' Severus turned his attention to Remus' ear, and the very sensitive spot just below it.

Remus sighed deeply. 'I suggest you only continue this if you are done talking. A man has only so much patience.'

'Still no backbone, wolf?' Mischievously, Severus bit Remus' earlobe again.

'Want me to show you how much backbone I have? If you don't stop, I'll have to carry you into your bedroom and give you a demonstration!' Remus was getting rather aroused by Severus' little kisses and bites on his neck. Merlin help him, how he wanted more, not just now, but... more!

Severus moved a leg between Remus'. 'I think I can feel something here. It might just be me,' he purred, 'but isn't the backbone supposed to be on the other side?'

Remus pushed up from the sofa. 'You are going to find out exactly where _this_ backbone is going in a few seconds!' he growled, sparks of golden light dancing in his eyes as he dragged Severus with him. 'I am really in the mood to do a few anatomic studies of the male body, just now. I have a science-orientated mind, you know.'

'I admit you weren't entirely hopeless when it comes to the Dark Arts. I think-'

'There! Damn!' A shadow moved outside the window. Remus pointed over Severus' shoulder and as Severus turned, they could both see a tall, broad-shouldered man flee from the house. 

The stalker had found Remus once more.


	12. Standing Up

Their night together had been tense. They both seemed worried and concerned by the fact the stalker had found Remus so easily. Reluctantly, Severus had gone over every step they had taken since the moment Remus had seen him at Leicester Square to determine where one of them had slipped, and the budding admiration Remus had for the man - he had always respected Severus - was growing. Remus began to understand exactly how secretive, cunning and calculating Severus was, and how able he was to keep his own emotions in a tight lead. Remus began to wonder if even the outbursts of rage Severus had had at Hogwarts had been just as meticulously planned. He hoped not, since it would leave the man he was begin to care for as someone almost inhuman in the coldness of his razor-sharp mind.

Remus had spoken to Severus of his 'snow palace'. In the middle of the night, when Remus was trying to sleep, safely tucked in underneath the duvet and the heavy wards they had put up around the small lodge, he wondered whether the snow palace was inside Severus' mind, or just in the way he lived his life. Remus had to admit he was more than intrigued by Severus Snape. He wanted to know if Severus' cold, frozen mind was kept in the confines of a static cold front, or just functioned that way as a result of his many years in mortal danger. No matter why, Remus wanted to find the way to bring sun and spring and thaw back in Severus' life and mind.

Restlessly, Remus turned, careful not move away from Severus' warm body. Yes, that was how it was. Remus wanted to bring joy and pleasure into Severus' life. He closed his eyes, and aligned his own body with the length of the lean, thin man he held in his arms.

It was that moment Remus Lupin realised he was falling in love with Severus Snape.

With the realisation came the overwhelming sensation of a approaching disaster. Remus wasn't used to getting what he wanted; that was not how his world usually worked. 'Stand up for yourself and take what you want,' Severus had told him. As Remus stared at the ceiling, seeing nothing but the bedroom's grey darkness, he knew he had a choice. Either he could keep to the rules, or he could do as any good Slytherin would have done: regard them as guidelines at best, and as something that only applied to others at worst. If he did what he usually did, he would thank Severus for his help and leave Guildford when he was told, ending up more miserable than he had ever been before. Or... Or he could follow the lead of the wolf and Severus' good advice and claim what he wanted to be his.

Oh boy, would he be in for a fight...

However, until now, Remus had been unobtrusive, kind, amiable and low maintenance. It had got him nothing, and time was (as he had already discovered when he allowed the wolf to peek out) right for a change of the terms by which Remus lived his life. Maybe it was time to stop wanting passively and only asking nicely for things. Time had come for Remus to find his backbone, let loose the inner wolf and simply inform Severus Snape that he was to be Remus'. Remus had seen how Severus looked at him, and it was nothing but stubbornness that separated them and hindered a longer relationship, not lack of feelings - that much he was certain. Feelings they both had in abundance, enough to guarantee that Remus' determined courting would be more than turbulent.

Remus was also very certain it would be worth it. If he got what he set out to win...

He snuggled up to the sleeping man, growling softly against his neck. 'Mate,' he whispered softly, as the calmness of his decision filled his mind and placated the wolf. It didn't take Remus three minutes to fall asleep.

 

Severus had showed Remus how to use the computer to find David MacMillan's address. It had taken approximately ten minutes, and Remus was a little impressed with the Muggle tool. It was far more advanced that Owl post, and much faster. There had even been a special address to which the computer could send its variety of Owl post. Severus had been kind enough to distract Remus profoundly by rubbing his back and kissing his neck as he tried to use the computer to write the electronic Owl, something that inevitably resulted in Remus' failure to send his first e-mail. Remus was certain quill and parchment was faster and easier, but Severus just laughed, left his attempt to drive Remus insane and typed another letter as fast as Remus could dictate. Also, he had advised Remus to, in the future, avoid clicking on small 'X'es, unless he wanted the program to stop.

The reply came just as fast as Severus had typed. Yes, David would talk to them, and yes, he was happy Remus didn't die, and no, there was absolutely no risk he'd tell anyone in the wizarding world Remus was alive because, for all David was concerned, wizards and witches supporting the werewolf-suppressing system could all go hang.

The snarky reply seemed to satisfy Severus. 'I think I like him already,' Severus said, 'he's not as timid as you are.'

'I'm not timid,' Remus said. 'Merely polite. If you know the word.'

'You're timid. Have you ever threatened anyone to bite them? I think you mentioned that David actually did exactly that when Arthur was going on about how easily you handled your curse when they were at the ward at St Mungo's.' Severus smirked. 'He's got bollocks.'

'And I have what?' Remus growled. 'You weren't complaining about my bollocks this morning, as I remember it; it sounded like you begging for more and harder.' He pulled Severus close. 'But maybe you want me to mark you again... to mark your beautiful skin with teeth and nails? I think you begged for that too?'

Blushing, Severus tried to push Remus away. 'Enough of that nonsense. Just because I allowed you in my bed you are not supposed to think you own me.'

Remus didn't let Severus slip away; he just tightened the embrace. 'I don't want to own you. I begin to think you need me, and since I cannot let my fellow man suffer such a loss, I really can't let go of you.'

'You'll have to. There are rules.' Severus looked serious, and a bit worried. 'I trust you haven't forgotten them.'

'Contrary to what I've said earlier, rules can be broken. Isn't that what you have done all your life? Claimed that others have to stick to the rules, whereas the rules don't apply to you?' Remus let a finger run over Severus' high-collared shirt, tugging it down a bit. 'I think I'll have to mark you over and over,' he said, and gave a small lick over the white, unblemished skin, 'to make sure you understand my claim on you.'

'Remus...' Severus voice was cold. 'Don't...'

'Oh no. Rules change, Severus Snape, and these just did.' Remus took Severus' thin hand and kissed it, almost courteously before he let go. 'I know you are going to fight me all the way, but I think I'll give you a fair warning. I _am_ going to convince you you are wrong, and I am going to use every trick in the book to do so.' Remus straightened, and suddenly there was pride and strength in the way he looked at Severus. It felt so good to finally stop caring whether everybody else accepted how Remus Lupin behaved. He had nothing left, and nothing to lose, apart from the man in front of him. Severus had asked him to grow a backbone. He just did. 'Do you have any objections?' Remus asked, an eyebrow raised.

'I have several, but for once I also have the distinct notion no one is going to listen to them. I am just going to remind you you are going to be sorely disappointed when I throw you out of my house when we're done.' Severus' voice was low, emotionless.

'We'll see, Severus.' Remus smiled, and it wasn't the kind, open smile he usually flashed. No, it was the secure smile of a man with a conviction. Even Severus realised that, he flinched visibly.

'Now, if you'd kindly cut down on the territorial behaviour. I am going to be very cross if you pee on my carpet, wolf.'

'Severus, really.'

'Isn't that what werewolves do? I happen to remember how... uncivilised the pack was, when you described it in your reports.'

Remus stepped up to Severus, intimidatingly close. 'When I am going to mark something as mine, to state my territory, you will not be in doubt when it happens. And it will not be by pissing on you, that much I can promise,' he growled, his voice low and dangerous. 'Be careful, Severus, or I won't hold the beast in. There is less than a week until full moon.'

Severus fled to his office and didn't come out until they had to go meet David.

 

They were driving West, towards Dartmoor. David MacMillan lived in a small town close to the moor. It was a desolate and large area, Dartmoor, large enough to contain several werewolves at full moon. However, David had been taking the Ministry's abysmal concoction for several years, and was at times able to suppress the beast if not in direct moonlight or at least he was if things were as last time Remus had been in touch with David.

David's house turned out to be a new, rather boring bungalow in the outskirts of Axtown, a small village close to the moor. They were expected, and David opened the front door to greet them, almost before Severus had parked the car. David gave Remus a warm embrace, then turned to Severus.

'Ah, finally I meet the famous hero of the wizarding world. They gave you a posthumous Order, did you know that?'

'Really?' Severus snapped. 'Mostly for being dead, and for not bothering them any more, I take it.'

'Probably,' David said. 'I'm sure they didn't give it to you for your kind disposition. I have a niece who was taught at Hogwarts. Her stories about you were very popular in the family. Especially the one where you outed Remus for being a werewolf.' David's tone was so like Severus' that Remus could barely stop himself from laughing.

'Personally, I think you all need to be contained,' Severus bit. 'I find it particularly disturbing you are able to-'

'That's enough, Severus!' Remus stepped between the two men. 'One more word, and you'll find yourself locked into the boot for as long as it takes me to discuss my problem with my friend. I don't care if you offend me, something you've clearly take pride in, but you are not going to talk like that to my friends.' Remus let his wand slide out of the sleeve he had hid it in. 'And don't even think to test me, because I think you'll find the boot both cold and uncomfortable.'

Severus was outraged. 'How dare you, you disgusting beast! You've let your friends insul-' Severus was cut short by a wave of Remus' wand and an Incarcerous spell. Remus caught Severus before he tripped over.

'I warned you,' Remus said, as he threw a cursing Severus over his shoulder. 'I'll be back in a minute, he told David as he walked back to the car. Severus was growling decidedly nasty curses and him, and Remus decided not to listen. 'I'll fetch you as soon as I'm done talking to David,' he said, tapping on the car to open the boot. Remus dumped Severus into it, and cast a warming charm, still ignoring Severus threats about Unforgivables and other unpleasantries. 'Later,' Remus just said and closed the boot, leaving a livid and fuming Severus to himself.

'Not changed one bit since he left Hogwarts,' David said as Remus returned. 'Still the grumpiest bugger since the dawn of time. It is of course your own business, but I don't understand what you see in him. I hope he's divine in the sack, really.'

Remus just gaped. 'Er-'

'Oh, Remus... come on. The way you look at him... You are fucking in love.' David closed the front door and put Remus' coat on a hanger. 'How long have you been together?'

'We're not,' Remus managed. I'm working on it.'

'Insane... that's what you are. But I suppose that's why you disappeared, spying for the resistance in Greyback's pack?'

'Gryffindor forever,' Remus grinned. 'At least I managed to do something no one else could. For once the curse was a blessing, Greyback could only turn me once.'

'Yeah, that and the fact that you were about twenty five years older than his favourite meat. But maybe he wasn't so picky this time around?'

'You know very well he wouldn't touch me, unless it was to kill me.' Remus rubbed his eyes, not really wanting to think of his time in the pack. 'He never tried, I suppose I wasn't Alpha enough for him to care.' Remus closed his eyes at the thought of Greyback. If nothing else, it was a blessing he was dead. No more children killed or maimed or deliberately turned because of him.

'Or maybe you were. Alpha enough, that is. You know very well it has nothing to do with showing off and prove who has the biggest wand.' David combed a freckled hand through his dark-red hair. 'Personally, I'd never dare fight you during full moon. And you know I'm not a coward.' David stood and fetched a bottle of Firewhisky. 'You'll let him drive, right?'

Remus nodded. 'I can't drive a Muggle car very well, and I doubt Severus would let me touch it.' He took the glass David offered him.

'So, the stalker.' David sat down, and took a drink of his glass. 'You need me to take a look?'

'If you don't mind. We need help. He's found Severus' house as well, and let us just say that Severus is not amused. He is not returning to the wizarding world, and if it is as you say, that he has been given an Order of Merlin, his exposure will mean that he's not going to be able to live peacefully and without interference his side of the next century.'

'You _are_ in love. Just listen to yourself, you fool!' David laughed loudly. 'Someone is spying on you, and far from being concerned for your own safety, you are worried Severus Snape is going to be bothered. Oh, Remus... it is bad!'

'All right, yes, I'm in love. Are you happy now?' Remus couldn't stop himself from laughing too. It was ridiculous. No one fell in love with sour, snarky Snape. Except for Remus Lupin. 'And you are right, I did forget. I'll not make that mistake again.'

'Good,' David said. 'And I don't know if I'm happy for you, the man's an emotional disaster, if you ask me. But if he makes _you_ happy...'

'Not yet. But I'll make sure he will, even if he's not willing - or rather thinks he's not willing.' Remus sighed, relieved. He had admitted how he felt and the world was still standing. Maybe things weren't as difficult as Remus had thought they were. 'Now,' he said, changing the subject. 'To get the stalker out of my life, so I can use my time on convincing Mr Snape of my honourable intentions, we'd really appreciate it if you'd come look at the area where we saw him last, maybe even help with the surveillance. We have to sleep as well, and we haven't found a pattern in his appearances. We saw him yesternight; he was peeking in through the living room window, but he was gone before we managed to get our wands and get outside.'

'Wizard or Muggle?' David asked, rubbing his chin. 'Any other signs?'

'A blurred photo. He's big and muscular, that's about all we know. And I can recognise his scent anywhere now. It is slightly familiar to me, but I can't remember from where. He's a wizard, by the way - he fiddled with the locks magically, to get into my flat. He trashed my belongings, so we haven't set up any electronic devices there, they are probably just going to be ruined as well.'

'And we keep everybody from our old lives out of this? I am not going to have anything to do with it, other than to get that foul liquid from the Werewolf Support Services.'

'You have my word.'

'And you, mine. I'll never forget how you helped me then, at St Mungo's.' David smiled. 'You're a good man, Remus. I hope he appreciates you.'

'He'll learn.' Remus shrugged. 'He has a few rough edges.'

'You can say that again.' David leaned back and put the glass down on the side table. 'As for our other rough-edged man... What if I drop by your... Severus' house tomorrow? We can take a sniff at the clues, then decide what to do, I doubt it is someone whose scent I know.'

'Please, that'd be great. I'll have a bit of time to calm Severus down, he might be a bit... he's good at holding grudges for a while. Tomorrow would be good.' Remus almost feared how Severus would react to what Remus had done to him, but this time there would be no apologies and Remus trying to be nice. There was no change in bloody hell that Severus would be able to handle yet another werewolf in his home tonight. 'I better go get him out... he needs to be able to drive us back to Guildford. Apparition is too dangerous, too easy to track.'

'Until tomorrow, then.' David stood, and saw Remus to the door. 'Be careful,' he said as Remus pulled on his coat. 'You better have your wand ready...' David's grin was a perfect copy of the one plastered over Remus' face. 'I had no idea you were that wicked, Lupin.'

'Neither had I,' Remus said, just before the front door closed behind him. 'But I'm glad I found out.'

Remus approached the car carefully, and he was definitely prepared for one of Severus' fits of rage. He wisely removed Severus' wand before he dissolved the ropes and helped Severus stand. Severus didn't say anything, didn't react. He just found the car keys, opened the car and waited until Remus had climbed in and fastened the seat belt . The drive back was done without as much as a word. It made Remus worry a bit; this wasn't the way Severus would normally react. Remus suddenly wished Severus had had that temper tantrum. The silence was disconcerting.

Not even when they arrived at the house, Severus spoke. Remus gave up and prepared for bed. Severus followed, grabbing his pyjamas without as much as a sound. He didn't return to the bedroom after having gone to the bathroom to brush his teeth. 

It was a long night without Severus at his side, Remus thought, as he looked at the clock. 3.30. He turned in the large bed, missing the warm body next to him. Tomorrow they'd have to speak about this. For now, Remus decided, he would let Severus sleep on the sofa, if that was really what he wanted.


	13. Anger

'Leave my house.' Severus' voice was colder than a chill Icelandic winter. 'Instantly.'

Remus looked up from his cup of tea and the morning paper, expressionless. 'No.'

'No? You really are...You will get out of here now, or I'll make you.' Severus' eyes flashed black lightning, and he clenched his hands so hard the knuckles turned white. 'Out, Lupin!'

'I'm sorry, Severus, but I take it you heard me the first time?' Remus pushed the chair back a bit, casually letting his wand slip into his hand under the table. He had put his foot down yesterday, and he had known already then, that there would be trouble. He just didn't know how much. 'You stepped over the line,' Remus said, and you got nothing from me you didn't deserve. Apart from that, we have things to do, so I cannot leave the house. As you said, there are rules, and I stick to them, at least today.' Remus spoke calmly, partly to keep himself calm, partly as not to inflame Severus anger further.

Severus paled visibly. One didn't have to be a mind reader of any kind to understand that Remus would have been dead if looks could kill. 'How dare you-'

Remus stood. 'No, Severus. How dare _you_?' Remus stepped closer to the angry man. 'How dare you talk about werewolves and how they should be detained in front of us? How is it common courtesy to address my friend in that rude manner? He has done you nothing but to offer his help! Do you care explain that to me?' Remus had no intentions of backing down. He knew this version of Severus, knew the anger and contempt, since that is what he had endured a full year at Hogwarts. This time, however, Remus wasn't interested in making friends or to stop the fighting. He had decided to follow Severus' advice about standing up for himself, and so he did.

'I am not going to explain anything. You will leave, never to return, and I don't care what happens to you, you disgusting creature!' Severus lost it and shouted at Remus, directing his wand at him. 'I can't believe I ever let you touch me, you appalling, filthy creep!'

'I wouldn't point a wand like that if I were you, Severus. One might think you were threatening me,' Remus said quietly and sent Severus' wand spinning into the air with a flick of his own. Severus let out an outraged cry and tried to get a hold of his lost wand. Remus' hand flashed out, grabbing Severus by the arm. 'Ah-ah, none of that. I think you and I are going to have a quiet talk about your behaviour, and when, exactly, I am going to leave this house.' Remus could feel the wolf just beneath his skin, brushing fur and claws and lust against his insides. The wolf tugged and ripped and wanted Remus to let go of his self control; wanted to make this angry human submit and bare his throat to the beast. Remus was losing, and yellow gold shone in his hungry eyes as he locked eyes with Severus.

Severus' eyes widened, there was no doubt he sensed the wolf there, and that it scared him. 'Lupin, no!'

'Too late now.' Remus' voice was a low, rumbling growl. 'You are behaving like a petulant whelp.'

'And?' Even now Severus couldn't keep his arrogance down. 'What are you going to do about it?'

The challenge was clear to the wolf - and to Remus. If Remus were to have a change of keeping the wolf from hurting Severus, he had to act quickly. 'Oh, you are behaving like a child, he said. 'Maybe I need to treat you as a child too?' Before Severus could reply, Remus had twisted his arm so hard Severus couldn't move without hurting himself. Remus kicked out a chair from under the kitchen table and dragged Severus down on his lap. Severus sneered and fought, but Remus had his arm in a firm grip. 'It is of course a bit old-fashioned, this, but a thorough spanking might help,' Remus said, his voice still rough with the strain of keeping the wolf reined in.

'Don't you dare!' Severus cried and tried to kick Remus. 'Don't even try!'

'Too late,' Remus growled, and let a hand fall on Severus' cheek. It gave a pleasant smack, muffled a bit by the thin fabric of Severus' robe. The yelp Severus let out, was equally satisfying. The wolf liked the whimpers and the wriggling. Remus hit Severus again, then again. Severus cried out, cursing Remus, his family and the fact that he didn't die in the war. Then Remus gave Severus another slap, then one more. He continued, setting a slow pace; he didn't want to hurt Severus, just underline that Remus Lupin had finally set the borders for what he'd take from former Headmaster Severus Snape.

'Please, Lupin... please!' Severus moaned and fought a little, weakly, against Remus' grip. The fight seemed to have left the man. Remus didn't stop. 'Lupin... enough... can't...' The tone had changed, now Severus was begging, not demanding. Again Severus writhed to get out of Remus' lap. Severus' warm body was rubbing against Remus' groin; the whimpering and the fight had aroused the wolf even more - enough for Severus to realise it when his hip moved against Remus' erection. 'Oh,' Severus just said and went still for a moment.

Remus felt slightly embarrassed. But there were two ways out of this: he could either let Severus go and apologise profoundly, and Severus would have won. Actually, that fact cut the possibilities down to one way only, since Remus would have seen Severus for the last time in his life if he let the snarky bugger have this one. 'Oh?' Remus said. 'Have you had enough?'

'Ye- yes.' Severus sounded unsure. Then he moved again over Remus' thigh, and there the evidence was: Severus was hard too, the tip of his cock was poking Remus' leg. So that was how the man wanted it? Hard enough and long enough to overrule the explosive temper and the bad mood? Painful enough to force him to let go of the pent-up feelings?

'I don't think so,' Remus growled, and pulled Severus' robe up roughly, something that made Severus find new energy for fighting and cursing. Remus vanished Severus' pants with a word, revealing a nicely pink and spanked arse. Remus rubbed his fingers over the hot, flushed skin before he raised his hand and let it fall once more, not as hard this time. He could feel Severus' freed cock bob against his thigh, heavy and ready. Severus' whimpers became moans, then sobs, as Remus continued the spanking. After a few more smacks, Remus let go of Severus' arm, but Severus didn't flee, he just grabbed Remus' leg and moaned even louder when Remus hit him again.

Slowly, Remus let the blows subside, just letting his hand slide over Severus' abused arse. 'Enough now,' he murmured. 'to stop you from being unreasonable?'

Severus', 'yes' was little more than a whisper. Remus was relieved, it seemed as if the pain and the rough treatment actually had helped Severus relax. He grabbed Severus' shoulder softly. 'Please, I need you,' Remus murmured as he helped Severus stand. As their eyes met, Severus' eyes were deep from the range of emotion he had been through. He just nodded, accepting to obey Remus.

With a spell, Remus prepared Severus before he took his hand and kissed it softly. Remus opened his trousers. He felt as if he had been hard for an eternity. 'Come here,' Remus said, and pushed Severus' robe up. 'Straddle me...'

Remus moaned loudly as Severus sank down on him, an almost omnivorous heat rising inside him, encasing him. Merlin, he was so in love with this man, and he... they had almost thrown away what he was certain they could have together, if only Severus would oblige.

'Remus... god...' Severus' voice shook, his body shivering as he wrapped his arms around Remus' neck, hiding his face against it. Severus' skin felt soft and warm against Remus' exposed groin, and the thin lips made Remus moan again, as Severus kissed and nibbled his way over Remus' shoulder. Remus wrapped his arm around Severus' slender back, then pushed his hand between them to touch Severus' cock.

They moved together, not frantically, but slowly, slowly, as if to cherish the moment, the pain and the pleasure; the power and the submission. Little movements brought them closer and closer to climax, and Remus came first, driven over the edge by the small contractions and Severus' awkward caresses. Remus muffled his loud moans with a bite, once more marking Severus as his, his and the wolf's. The pain pulled Severus with it, and as he clung to Remus, he came, smothering Remus's shirt with his come. 'My Remus,' he whispered as the last of the orgasm's waves ran through him. 'My Remus.'

They sat like that for a while, stroking each other, until they both were able to breathe, and Remus softened and slipped out. 'I went too far,' he said, finally. 'I really am sorry.'

Severus just huffed, but didn't move away. He breathed in, as if he were to say something. It took a little before the words came. 'I shouldn't have humiliated you in front of MacMillan.'

'No,' Remus just said. He was aware that was the closest thing Severus would ever come to an apology. He stroked Severus' back calmly as if to show how much he appreciated that Severus at least recognised he had done something wrong. 'If you promise not to do it again, I promise never to use the boot for anything than luggage.'

Remus could feel Severus nod against his shoulder. 'And the spanking?' Severus asked, his voice husky, 'what about that? Will you promise to do it again?' Severus' mouth turned into a smile.

'Er-' Remus coughed. 'Well, if you give me reason to.' He wasn't sure Severus had really asked for more.

'I can misbehave in other ways than by insulting your curse, I guarantee you. If it wasn't already an insult in itself.'

The snark was back, and it made Remus feel better, as if things were going to be right between them now. 'I'd feel disappointed if you stopped trying,' Remus declared, and his life suddenly looked much brighter.

 

David arrived after dinner. Remus dragged him out in the garden as soon as he had put down his small suitcase in the hallway. 'We better get it over with right away,' Remus said as they walked outside in the darkness, leaving Severus inside. Remus wanted to explain to David, and also to give him the sort-of-apology Severus had given. There was just no chance in hell that Severus was going to apologise in person.

'Ah,' David said. 'We know how he is. And I might have goaded him just a bit. I was so angry at him because of how he treated you, then. But that was before he became your lover, of course. You really don't know what's good for you.'

'You're offering?' Remus teased, knowing that David had a nice girlfriend (who knew nothing about his temporary furriness).

'I would, if I liked men that way.' David grinned. 'You really know how to pick them. How did you make him calm down? I was certain I'd arrive in time for your funeral.'

'Now,' Remus said and blushed, grateful for the darkness. 'Maybe we should go look at the spot where the stalker was standing?'

'Just let me know if you don't want to talk about it,' David grinned. 'What did you do to him? Spank him?'

'No!' Remus exclaimed. 'Of course not. And I don't.' Remus was reminded of why he liked David so much, he reminded him a bit of James and Sirius at their best, they had been outrageous too.

David just shook his head and followed Remus, who carried a large torch.

'Here,' Remus said. 'His scent is still traceable.'

'Urgh. Does the man ever wash?' David's face contracted in disgust. 'I'm glad I didn't get here when it was fresher... or more... ripe.' He waved his hand as if to dissolve the smell. 'I am sure I don't know him. My friends usually bathe.'

'Let's get back in. We have set up the camera again, but he hasn't been here since, obviously. We need to find out how we can turn this, so we can hunt and not be hunted.' Remus opened the front door and they went inside. Hanging their coats on the hooks in the hallway, Remus smiled. 'We do like a good hunt, don't we?' It has been one of the few pleasures while he ran with the pack: chasing rabbit and hare in the meadows during full moon. His current hideout in an empty lift in an abandoned tube station didn't really invite that kind of pleasures.

'Oh, yes,' David said. 'And we will have one, soon.'

They entered the sitting room. Severus had made tea, kept under a stasis charm. Remus took it as a sign Severus had really calmed down, and maybe even forgiven Remus for what he had done. However, the man was nowhere to be seen. 'Severus?' Remus called, as he poured tea for them all. 'Aren't you having tea with us?'

Severus came out from his small office. 'I was just checking the laptop,' he said, and reached for his cup, seemingly not interested in sitting next to Remus.

'Aren't you going to sit down?' Remus asked, taking a sip of his tea.

'Thank you, but I prefer to stand,' Severus snapped.

David just raised an eyebrow and looked at Remus, grinning.


	14. Back in the wizarding World

The post came early, even before Severus had entangled himself from Remus' embrace. Remus was relieved when Severus had joined him in bed instead of sleeping in his office (David had taken the sofa). Severus hadn't mentioned their... conflict with more than a snapped, 'we're even now'. Remus had a slight suspicion that Severus had meant the unfortunate incident at Hogwarts, the one in Potter's third year where Severus had declared to the world that Remus was a werewolf. It proved to Remus that the man actually had a conscience. However, Remus wasn't entirely sure there wouldn't be further repercussions for what he had done.

So, when the postman knocked, Severus went out of bed, threw a robe over his naked (and well-shagged) body and went to open. When he came back, he threw a parcel on the bed. 'I have the ingredients now. Hopefully, even the slighter dose will make you able to think a little, but I don't hold any high hopes.' Severus went to shower and left Remus alone with the package. He looked into the large manila envelope. It was filled with small plastic bags and boxes. The largest was marked 'Aconite'. Remus felt relieved. To be able to keep his calm and be certain he didn't rip someone apart by accident during the change... He would owe Severus for this.

Later, after breakfast, Remus and David had decided to find out more about the stalker. Severus had made a machine Transfigure the photo of the man from the laptop into a picture on paper. They were going to play spies at the Leaky Caudron, under disguise, of course. Severus had agreed to let Remus use the charm he had invented; the one that made Severus look both boring and unremarkable mousy.

David looked at Remus' changed face. 'God, you look as if you'd been hanging out at the dustiest office for twenty years. And you'd never have caught any war-hero with that arse.'

Remus growled at David. 'And you? You look like a sissy! Oh... sorry, that's how you usually look.'

David just swatted at Remus. 'Come on,' he said. 'If you're done. We can Apparate, side-along, it saves petrol, and I don't care if they trace my use of magic.'

Severus took the wards down so they could Apparate out. David just pulled Remus into his arms, and barked, 'no groping, you pervy bastard,' just before they were pulled away.

They stepped out from a small alley close to the Leaky Cauldron. Remus checked to be sure the charm was in place, before they walked out on the busy street. Remus felt odd. He didn't want to go back to the world that had once been his, and yet he felt a longing deep in his heart. He missed the son he had never really been allowed to get to know. He still regretted that he had married Tonks, but his son... he had never thought he would have a family of his own. Of course he didn't have one as such, since Ted was with his grandmother. It was better that way, so his son could grow up without seeing the fear and disgust other people regarded his father with.

'Remus? Remus? Are you in there?' David was tugging at his sleeve.

'Sorry. I was just... I don't feel so well,' Remus said. They were standing outside the Leaky Cauldron, and Remus felt as if he was going to step over the edge of a very tall cliff.

'We're going in. No one will be able to recognise you, and trust me when I say half the patrons will flee when they see me. Beacuse we all know how dangerous werewolves are in human form,' David said bitterly, and shook his head. 'Sometimes I wonder how the wizarding world is surviving. One half is inbred Purebloods, other half's dumber than door posts.'

'A bit harsh, are we?' Remus pushed the door open and went inside. It felt like stepping back in time, as if nothing had happened since Voldemort died. There was a new bar maid behind the bar, that was all. No, the wizarding world didn't change overnight. Behind them, there were somebody whispering, and a few couples stood and left the premises with a scowl in David's direction.

'Not really,' David said. 'Oh, it's so good to be home.' His voice dripped from a sarcasm not even Severus could have done better. David waved Remus with him as he walked up to speak to the bar maid. David showed her the blurry picture. She didn't recognise the man either.

Remus wanted to get out. It was too much, standing here, feeling as if he was dumped in the middle ages. He had never thought he would feel this way about the world he was born into, but he did. He had fled because of the prejudice; because he had no friends left, fled because he wanted to give his son a chance. But he had never hated that world. Not until now. He didn't belong here any more, and that hurt. Nothing had changed, and that was what changed Remus' heart and mind. He hadn't fought with the Order for the world to continue as if nothing had happened.

David sensed that Remus wasn't well. 'Are you all right? Tea?' He led Remus over to a table. There suddenly were a lot of empty ones.

'No, I'll manage. I just... I had forgotten how bad it felt to be exposed to the hate they feel towards us.'

'Someone hates you enough to stalk you and ruin your things, in the most violent way. Can't come as a surprise.' David let his eyes slide over the witches and wizards who were still there. 'One of them, yes, but where is he?'

They sat for a while, drinking tea, reading the latest Prophet, listening to people's gossip. They learned a bit about people who had once been Remus' friends; some of it David already knew, since he visited Diagon Alley a few times a year. The Wolfsbane was delivered by Owl, a small blessing, but mostly to the wizarding world's benefit - it was one less cursed beast to deal with. Nowhere, they found any traces or hints that could lead them to the elusive man.

It took two pots of tea before the girl who served them began to send them annoyed looks. Remus sighed. It was time to go before the nasty comments and the poorly hidden insults began. Remus stood. 'Do you think we can... do you have any more wizarding money?' Remus had completely forgotten that he had only brought Muggle money.

'I do, What do you want with them?'

'I thought we could go to the apothecary and buy some of the stuff Severus can't get anywhere else? I think it might be a wise thing to do, I'm not sure he has forgiven me entirely, yet.' Remus pulled distractedly at his sleeve. 'Maybe an Owl, so he can get order things? None of us had the possibility to take one with us after the battle.' Remus really didn't want to visit Diagon Alley, but he owed Severus. Hell, he'd do it even if he hadn't. _Buying thoughtful gifts for your lover now_ , a tiny voice in his head said. Yes, he was. He was in love, and right now Severus could probably ask him anything, and Remus would do it.

David followed Remus into the throng of the tightly packed alley. They walked across the street, to the apothecary. David stayed outside, it would make certain Remus - hidden behind the charm - would receive a better service. Actually, it made certain Remus received any service at all. He purchased, amongst other things, dried Bicorn, a Bezoar and a unicorn hair. Remus wasn't certain what Severus needed, but chose what could only be found in the wizarding world.

Their next stop was the Magical Menagerie. Again, David remained outside, leaving Remus to the task of finding a small owl for Severus. He found a tiny Pygmy Owl, the size of a starving starling. Its haughty attitude, when it looked at Remus, reminded him so much of Severus that he didn't even consider getting a larger owl. This one was small and discreet - and not too expensive. The unicorn hair had carved a sizeable piece out of what Remus could afford.

Remus hurried outside, eager to leave Diagon Alley. David took a few fast steps to follow him, and as Remus turned his head to say something to his friend, he saw the man they had been looking for. He stood just a few feet down Knockturn Alley, but when Remus turned David around to point out the stalker, he was gone, Disapparating.

No one in the shops around the area knew the man as they used more than an hour to ask around.


	15. The Thaw

The next morning none of them were any wiser. They had confirmed the man was indeed a wizard; they knew that he either wasn't that well connected (since they weren't able to find anybody who knew him) or the contrary: that he had connections who were willing to protect him. The stalker hadn't been back at Severus' house either, and it worried Remus more than anything else. It meant the stalker probably had other plans, new plans. Remus was certain the man hadn't given up.

David had left early; he had to go to work. He had a small business, refurbishing flats for sale; he was making a decent living out of it. It also made him able to take the days off he needed every month. He promised to return as soon as possible; he had suggested they tried to go back to Remus' flat and see if the stalker was doing his stalking there. Remus had agreed, it was probably the best thing to do if they were to find out more. Under all circumstances, Remus needed to go to London for his change; he would feel better in his usual hideout. Severus probably wouldn't like a wolf prowling in his back garden anyway.

When Remus got out of bed and into the kitchen, lured by the wonderful smell of freshly made coffee, and what - by judging from the scent - was a substantial breakfast, he found Severus in a good mood, with the small bird perching on his shoulder. It had a claw buried in Severus' hair as it chattered loudly, decidedly set on getting a piece of sausage.

'You are getting along well?' Remus asked as he slipped an arm around Severus' waist. 'At least some of us are, then.' He glared at the tiny owl who had let go of Severus' hair to cling to a piece of meat. It hissed at him, furiously. 'Hah,' Remus grinned. 'I see why I chose this one for you. You are quite alike.'

'Bugger off, idiot wolf. If it wasn't for all your soppy, romantic gifts, I wouldn't have to deal with yet another annoying beast.' Severus stroked the bird affectionately, before he pulled it off his shoulder and placed it on the bread box. 'It is not Christmas yet,' Severus sneered. 'No snow, no Christmas, no gifts.'

'There's never any snow during Christmas, Severus. Not unless you count the four snowflakes that fell last year.'

'Then save your stupid gifts until then.' Severus turned his back to Remus, and filled two plates with eggs, tomatoes and sausages. 'Your Wolfsbane's in the office. I didn't want the stench out here.'

The way Severus had treated the bird contradicted his words. Remus was sure Severus had enjoyed the unexpected gifts quite a bit. The man just needed to learn to show it in a more appropriate way. 'Thank you, Severus,' Remus said and placed a soft kiss on Severus' cheek. 'I'm very grateful.'

'Scram,' Severus said, not utterly unkind, and rubbed his cheek where Remus had kissed it. 'And hurry. Breakfast's going to get cold.'

 

In the office, Severus had set up a cauldron at a stone table. The potion made the small room smell of Aconite. A steaming goblet was placed next to the cauldron, and Remus sat down at the desk to wait for the Wolfsbane to cool enough for him to drink it in one go. Severus' laptop was turned on already, and Remus played a bit with the various programs. As he started the browser he got a brilliant idea. Severus had showed him how to use a smart tool; one just typed what one was looking for and, almost as if it was magic, the machine had a lot of suggestions of where to find it. Quickly, Remus clicked the link to the Met Office's home page and began to look for a spot that had what he needed.

 

Get your coat,' Remus said as he put a hamper in front of Severus. There were blankets and a Thermos sticking out of it. 'And warm boots and gloves.'

'Why?' Severus put down the book he was reading. 'I don't have time for your silly games, Lupin. What is it you want?'

Remus smiled. He hadn't counted on Severus to cooperate. 'We're going to search for Christmas,' he said and pulled Severus up from the chair. 'It is entirely up to you if you are going to be cold or warm, because I'm taking you, whether you want it or not.'

'Oooh, bossy now, are we?' Severus purred. 'I think I'm beginning to like you, wolf.'

'Really?' Remus said, in the same silky tone of voice. 'You just like it rough, that's why.' He stepped closer to Severus, close enough to feel Severus' warm breath on his skin. 'And if you agree to... come, I'll make sure you'll _get_ it rough.'

'Promises, promises...' Severus got up and went to fetch his long black cloak. 'Is wizarding attire a faux pas, or?'

'No, that's fine.' Remus put on his winter robe and grabbed the hamper. 'Now I really hope you'll appreciate how I am compromising my secrecy and safety for your sake,' he growled. 'Get over here, man, so I can Disapparate us.'

Severus wrapped his arms tightly around Remus, and Remus had a slight suspicion that Severus enjoyed to be carried away in Remus' arms. So much for the man's dislike of romance. They were dragged away as Remus spoke the word, and in a nauseating blur they popped out of thin air on the exact coordinates Remus had aimed for. It took a few seconds to suppress the dizziness from the long-distance Apparition.

'Where, exactly, are we?' Severus hadn't let go of Remus. 'It's sodding cold here.' Severus' breath made little clouds in the air.

'Out to find snow for Christmas. Now we've got it.' Remus looked around. They were standing on a small mountain top, not too far from a village. The sun was shining from a clear winter sky, making the snow that covered the ground and the naked trees glitter multi-coloured in the sharp sunlight. The wind was cold, but the sun warm, and it wasn't unpleasant with a good cloak on.

'Hah,' Severus huffed. 'So where are the gifts, then? I want some.'

Remus laughed. The man was incredible. Maybe that was what he loved about Severus: the mix of utter childishness; selfish, unreasonable childishness and the serious, intellectual man he was too. All the layers which covered the passionate, real Severus underneath; the man who cried and begged and loved and gave when Remus had taken him out where he was able to let go of his masks. Remus put the hamper down. 'All right, I'll give you gifts.' He bent down and took a handful of snow. 'But I'm not sure you'll like them,' he growled, letting the wolf participate in the fun.

'No! You don't dare, Lupin!' Severus eyes were wide. 'I'm-'

The snowball landed with a slushy sound on Severus' forehead.

'You're dead. I'm going to kill you!' Severus cried, and before they knew it, the battle was on. Remus managed to hide behind a large pine. Severus was mean enough to throw snowballs at the branches so that the thick layer of snow that covered them drizzled down on Remus' uncovered head.

'Get out here and fight!' Severus shouted, 'Or I'll put snow in your pants when I catch you!'

 _Smack_! Another snowball hit Severus on the shoulder. Remus sniggered and threw another. This was fun; it was a bit of a surprise that Severus had thrown himself into the game wholeheartedly. Remus gathered snow and made several snowballs, throwing them as fast as he could. Severus dived down behind a dead tree lying on the ground, maybe turned over by a late autumn storm. Carefully, Remus stuck his head out to take aim, but Severus was gone.

Remus realised only too late where Severus went when he landed on his back with Severus straddling him and a large handful of snow smeared over his face. 'That'll teach you, you unreliable cur!' Severus sneered. 'Apologise, or I'll give you more! I'll stuff effing Christmas in your trousers and see how you like it!' Severus laughed, carefree and happy he sounded, fighting back when Remus tried to get him off. 'Oh no, wolf! You're mine now!' Severus let go of Remus' one arm to grab another handful of snow. 'Guess where this is going!'

Remus managed to sit up and grab Severus' hand. They fought, Remus trying to make Severus let go of the snow. How it happened, Remus didn't know, but suddenly it was as if the world narrowed, and there was nothing but the golden sun, the blue sky and Severus' burning eyes. Remus had never seen Severus look so relaxed and happy. His cheeks were rosy and a large grin covered his face. The sun made Severus' hair shine blue. Yes, the world shrunk to only the small distance between them, and the sight of Severus' thin lips, wet from snow. Remus leaned in and kissed them, mostly because there was no way he could not.

Severus just made a small gasp, then there were arms around Remus' neck, and lips on his; a mouth slightly open in invitation. Remus moaned softly as he buried his tongue in Severus' warm mouth. There was nothing like this, the first kiss, the first taste of the man he loved. Severus tasted like _home_ , of pack and spices and bitterness. He tasted of need and desire and a bit of the coffee he had had in the morning, and Remus wanted it all. He let his tongue acquaint itself with any surface he could touch; let it wander over lips and cheeks and play with Severus' tongue. Severus moaned too, clinging to Remus, with gloved hands buried in Remus' hair.

None of them seemed to want the kiss to end. When it did, it was only to allow another, then another kiss to take its place. They had no need for words since their mouths were busy speaking of desire and tenderness in a way they both were able to express and understand. They only stopped when the snow around them had melted, sending little stinging streams of icy water inside their clothes. Remus withdrew, smiling softly. Severus returned the smile, shyly, as if he had surprised even himself with this.

For a moment, Severus' eyes were softer than velvet, dark as the black night. For a moment, Remus was overwhelmed by the thought that here, in the middle of nowhere; in the middle of a landscape created by winter and snow and ice, Severus Snape's inner snow palace was finally beginning to thaw. Remus held out his hand to help his lover stand. 'I have something warm to drink - and blankets,' he said quietly. 'If that's an adequate Christmas gift?'

Severus nodded. 'That would be acceptable.'

They spread out the blankets over the fallen trunk. Remus performed a drying charm before they sat down with each their mug with steaming hot chocolate. Severus didn't protest when Remus put his arms around him, and he didn't argue against more kisses; this time chocolate-flavoured. They stayed until they were out of chocolate, and the shivers down their backs weren't only from the kisses they shared. None of them had any desire to go back.

When they did, there were still kisses enough left to last them through the night. For the first time, Remus felt as if they were making love, and the sweet nonsense he was whispering in Severus' ear as he came, and the desperate, 'my Remus,' Severus moaned over and over, did nothing to make him leave that line of thought.


	16. The Claim

Remus looked at the clock. It was close to noon, and he had absolutely no intention of leaving the bed. For once, Severus hadn't left it almost before Remus woke up. What had happened between them had been significant to Severus as well, Remus thought, since the man was still here, with arms and legs entwined with Remus'.

Remus still felt a bit wary. No matter how Severus felt, nothing was decided yet. One thing was for Severus to discover he was able to - Remus didn't dare use the word 'love' - but that was what it was, in Remus' opinion. The way Severus had looked at him... there had been so much unsaid between them, so many hidden feeling. Another thing was to make Severus realise it, and then accept it.

Remus had left the point where he had any remaining doubts about his own feelings. He was utterly lost in Severus, still not really aware of how it had happened. He had never believed in love at first sight, and Merlin knew he had looked at Severus many times and felt nothing but anger, pity or disgust. How it happened he had looked one time too many and seen something he had never seen before... that was the question. Remus suspected the release of the wolf had something to do with it, since it had found what it wanted in Severus' submissiveness. Remus didn't mind, either. It was such a contrast to the tender sex he'd always had before, out of fear of letting the wolf slip for as much as a second. To have Severus crying and moaning under him, begging for harder and rougher, was more wonderful than Remus ever could have imagined.

That fear, the fear of letting the wolf hurt someone, had left him now, since Severus goaded and lured and poked until Remus let go and let the inner wolf lead the way. Maybe they weren't that different, the two of them. Lonely men, both, afraid to let go of their inner demons. Only together they were able to, and it felt as both a blessing and a relief. Of course this had nothing to do with the monster that came out when the full moon shone, that was quite a different problem. But the aspect of the wolf, the strong Alpha, that was what Severus needed.

A soft moan from Severus made Remus direct his attention to his lover and tighten his arms around his thin body. Severus stretched and moved closer, his back against Remus' chest. A slender hand stroked his before Severus entangled his fingers with Remus'. 'Mmm, finally with us,' Remus whispered. ' Did you sleep well?'

'When you decided to let me.' Severus' voice was neutral. 'I'm sure you tried to kill me by exhaustion.' He wriggled even closer, rubbing a bit against Remus' cock. 'But I survived.'

'You did, and I'm happy for that. Maybe I'll get the chance to do it again. I would like that. You are very... exhaustible.' Remus leaned over and managed to find Severus' mouth. He kissed him tenderly. 'I mean it, Severus. This is not just a one-time thing for me.'

Severus froze, then relaxed. 'I know.' There was a pause. 'It scares me, Remus. Everything about this scares me more than Voldemort ever did.'

It was the first time Severus had said anything about what they did that sounded honest, without sarcasm, without layers of hidden meanings. 'I understand; It scares me too.' Remus kissed Severus' neck, his cheek, and found his mouth again. They kissed for a while, softly. Remus breathed in deeply, before he quietly and as earnest as he possibly could (which was a lot) told Severus, 'I'm in love with you, and I don't know what to do.'

'Show me,' Severus just said. 'Show me.' He turned a bit, dragging Remus down in a scorching kiss. Remus had no objections. He let his tongue stroke Severus', rubbing his thumb over Severus' nipple. It made the man moan - a hungry, dark moan - and Remus wasn't in doubt what Severus needed. Remus used time to caress his lover, alternating between rough pinches and butterfly-soft touches. He let his hands slide over lean thighs, down the wonderfully long legs. Up again, to pinch Severus' arse, then mapping out the plane between the sharp hip-bones to the arch of his rib cage. Remus needed this, to touch every spot, to know every inch of Severus' pale body.

It was hard for Remus to keep calm. The wolf was there, two days before full moon, just under his skin and his conscious mind. It wanted Severus, wanted his scent and his body and his whimpers. He continued to touch Severus where he could reach, kissing him, nibbling at his perfect skin, still decorated with the bites Remus had given him during their long hours of lovemaking. Remus was getting hard, his cock trapped between their moving bodies, rubbing against Severus' cleft. 'Inside me, please... please,' Severus begged, as Remus closed his hand around Severus' erection. 'Need it!'

Remus let go of his lover for a moment, reaching for a small vial of oil. They didn't need much, Severus was still loose from the several times Remus had taken him during the night. He rubbed oil over his cock before he pushed two lubricated fingers inside Severus' hole. Severus cried out, not because of pain, Remus was sure. He aimed for Severus' prostate, massaging it until Severus was moaning loudly. 'Tell me you want me,' Remus whispered. 'Show me too.'

Severus pulled a leg up, giving Remus room to penetrate him. 'I want you,' Severus said and turned his upper body so he could kiss Remus. 'You make me feel alive when you take me... hurt me.'

'I'm never going to hurt you,' Remus said. 'Only the way you like it.' He pushed into Severus' tightness, his body felt so good as it received him, gripped him tightly. It was home. Mate. Pack. Remus found Severus' lips, mirroring the movements of his thrusts, plunging his tongue deeply into Severus' pliant mouth. Merlin, this felt so good; the softness and the need and the tenderness. Remus wrapped both arms around Severus' chest to get enough momentum to thrust in deeper. Severus moved with him, arching his back to push back against Remus' cock. It left Remus the view of a long, elegant line, a soft arch, snow-white skin stretched over the lean muscles and sharp bones Remus suppressed the wolf as it growled possessively. He wouldn't allow the wolf to participate in this. This was between the two of them; Remus making love to the man he loved, claiming what was his. 'Bare your neck,' he whispered, his lips moving against Severus' ear. 'Give in to me.'

Severus just pulled his hair away, as if to show he was Remus'. He didn't speak, the only sound was the deep sighs, small whimpering sounds, as Remus slid in to the hilt again as he slowly moved in and out of Severus' warm body.

Remus kissed the spot just underneath Severus' ear. 'Tell me you're mine. That you belong to me!'

'Yours,' Severus managed, shivering from lust and arousal. 'Please?'

Remus bit down hard, just where Severus jaw met his neck. It was a deep pleasure to hear Severus moan, 'yours', once more as Remus bit through the skin, tasting Severus' blood. _He_ had wanted this, not the wolf, and Remus made sure that he had left his mark there, a mark that would stay on Severus' skin forever, marking him Remus' property, his lover, his mate. His love. Remus knew this instant with a deep certainty that he would never let Severus go when their task was done. He would fight with everything he had to keep what he had taken for himself. The wolf agreed fully. It had its mate, and Remus had someone he loved, and they were both content. Now, the difficult thing was to convince Severus he needed a relationship too.

Remus just needed to thrust a few times before he came, buried inside Severus. A soft, 'I love you,' was whispered against Severus' broken skin, and as if Severus' body had absorbed the sensation, he came, with Remus' arms around him, and Remus' tongue in his mouth. Severus just lay quietly, smeared with Remus' come and his own. He didn't move until Remus slipped out, then he just turned in his lover's arms, putting his head on Remus' shoulder. They were quiet for a long time, as if they both had felt the significance of Remus' claim.


	17. Alpha

David had been able to get away from his work early and had promised to come by in the afternoon. They had all planned to go to London; Remus had insisted he wanted to say in the abandoned tube station for his change, he knew it was safe since he had used the place ever since he managed to get away from the Muggle hospital that had taken him in. The small lift shaft he was hiding in had kept him - and everybody else - safe through every painful change since then. If it could keep him safe without the aid of the Wolfsbane potion, it would be even more safe with it. Remus had no intention of putting himself in a situation where he had the slightest risk of being seen by Muggles. He could, of course, pretend to be a very, very large dog, but it wasn't as if a wolf-sized dog wouldn't be noticed in the middle of London. It would, it would indeed.

'Are you certain it is a good idea, this?' Severus asked. 'There is a perfectly useful forest just half a mile from here.' Severus caressed Remus' shoulder; he had a possessive arm around him, as they sat there in the sofa. Severus was reading a potions book, and Remus was trying to manage the Times with one hand, since the other was firmly placed on Severus' thigh.

Leaning back in his lover's embrace, Remus sighed happily. If they could just continue this, and not think of stalkers and wolves and changes, he would be a much happier man. 'I know, love. But maybe it is a good idea to wait until I have had Wolfsbane for at least a month, before we experiment.' Remus closed his mouth with a snap. He had forgotten. Maybe he wouldn't be here in a month, maybe he hadn't been able to convince Severus that he belonged to Remus; that they belonged together. A flash of pain and the expectation of the loss he had yet to prevent made his eyes hold a deep sadness. 'I think I better stick to what I am used to,' he said, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice.

'I'm going with you,' Severus said, surprisingly and tightened his hold on Remus.

Remus looked at his lover, eyes wide with surprise. There had been such determination in his voice that Remus didn't even care to object. 'Are you sure?' he asked softly. 'Last time you met the wolf, it wasn't really an event that needed to be repeated.' Remus cupped Severus' cheek with a tender hand. 'I wouldn't want us to go back to how things were, Severus. You're mine now, and I'd rather not you'd be... inclined not to think so.'

Severus leaned into the caress for a moment. 'I am yours for now, yes.' There was a small frown on Severus' brow. 'You know the rules.' His voice sounded strangled and hard.

Remus felt his soft smile slide of his face, almost as if Severus had thrown a bucket of cold water at him to wash it off. 'You are mine,' he said. 'I have claimed you, and I won't... can't let you go. I don't care about your sodding rules.' Remus didn't raise his voice, but the certainty shone through and made Severus flinch. 'There is no choice for me any longer.'

'What?' Severus sneered. 'All some such superstition about werewolves claiming their mates? I thought you were more clever than that, Lupin.' Severus moved his arm from Remus' shoulder, leaving the spot where it had lain feeling bare and cold.

'No, Severus, it is not like that. _I_ have claimed you and no matter what, I am not going to let you go. This has nothing to do with the wolf, even if the beast does approve. And I might feel inclined to correct you regarding your knowledge of werewolves' mating habits.' Remus pulled Severus closer. The man didn't fight him. 'I'm in love with you,' Remus murmured. 'I'm... I can't let you go.'

Severus breathed out, and it was as if he seemed smaller, younger. 'I know. But this... you... you scare me more than the beast. At least I knew what it wanted: either to kill me or to... well... what you let it do. Sex and death, that I understand.'

'You were never a coward, Severus. I didn't think you'd start now.' Remus put his arm around Severus' shoulder, protectively. 'Love... I am not sure I have ever really tried that, maybe I was too focussed on being liked. I think it was always an approximation in my case. I think I am beginning to understand, though, and if I can, so can you. You see,' Remus said quietly as he kissed Severus softly on the lips. 'You see,' he whispered, only an inch from the thin, but oh so alluring lips, 'I don't care about being liked now. I just care about you, and to see you satisfied and happy.'

'Happiness was never for the likes of me,' Severus sneered and moved away. 'There are rules, wolf, and you better stick to them! The rules say this is over when we have caught the stalker!'

'Aha,' Remus purred, his voice deceptively quiet. 'Try to convince yourself of that, because I am not sticking to any rules when it comes to keeping you, my very, very stubborn love.'

'You aren't going to give up this time?' Severus' voice was arrogant. 'That backbone of yours... how long is it going to last?'

Remus pushed Severus down in the sofa. The man made a very satisfying surprised yelp. 'Oh, I think it is going to stay,' Remus growled. 'It has helped me to so many pleasant experiences lately.' He crushed his mouth over Severus, and for a while there was no talk about backbones or rules or beasts. There was mostly Severus moaning and begging for more.

 

David knocked on the door an hour later, just as they had finished a quick shower (during which Remus had demonstrated to Severus exactly how good he was at not drowning while he sucked Severus off) and had dressed. Severus' long hair was still wet, and he was opening the door with an unbuttoned shirt thrown loosely over his naked torso.

'Oh, somebody has been having fun here,' David grinned, as he sat down in the arm chair. His eyes wandered over Severus' chest and neck, decorated with Remus' violent love-bites. Severus blushed, but before he managed to button as much as a button, Remus had stepped between David and Severus. He didn't want David to look at his mate like that. Remus could feel the wolf rage, almost slipping around Remus' control. 'He's mine,' he growled in an intimidatingly low, rough voice. 'Mine!'

'Whoa!' David looked intimidated, and hurried to look away, baring his neck submissively. 'Alpha,' he just said.'I know. Calm down, Remus! I'm sorry.'

David stayed calm and submissive that while Remus turned to Severus and helped him button his shirt. 'Mine,' he whispered softly, as he buttoned the top button. 'No one else can have you.' Remus had difficulties keeping the wolf calm. It had marked its mate, and no other wolf was allowed to desire it. Remus knew very well that David wasn't any competition in that regard, but the wolf didn't care. It just wanted, and would fight to keep what it had.

Severus looked as if he was contemplating something - something that had been surprising to him. Remus kissed him, and they sat down. The beast was under control now. 'Sorry 'bout that,' he said. 'I don't know why...'

'You have claimed him, haven't you?' David still didn't look Remus in the eye, as if he didn't want to challenge the beast. 'I suppose congratulations is in order, in that case. You're as good as married, then.' David grinned, careful not to flash teeth.

Severus made a choking sound.

'I think we may wait with the discussion of pack practise,' Remus said and reached for Severus' hand. It might be a bit more than Severus was able to handle. There was more to how the claiming worked than that, but now was not the time to explain to Severus. Remus breathed out, relieved, when Severus took his hand. 'We should go, we need to set up the surveillance in my flat again, and we need to go check on the lift shaft when the trains has stopped running for the night.'

'All right. I've brought some blankets and two airbeds. We are still going to stay there all night?'

'We are. We hope the stalker comes back, he hasn't been here since we saw him that night.'

They stood up and went to pack some food and the laptop, together with the clothes and tools they needed to bring. Severus set heavy wards in and around the house, and it was late before they were done securing the place. David had been careful not to come between the Alpha wolf and his mate again, and he even chose the back seat, as not to make another conflict. Remus had his hand firmly placed on Severus thigh all the way to London, only moving it a bit every time Severus needed to work the gear leaver.

Maybe it was because Remus had his attention directed at Severus. Or maybe it was because he felt the presence of the Beta wolf a bit disturbing. Maybe it was because Remus really had scared David - they were all a bit tense because of it - that none of them noticed the dark-blue car which slowly pulled out and followed them as they drove towards London.


	18. Full Moon Rising

It was after midnight before the three men left Remus' small apartment, all disguised by various charms. They were walking down Old Brompton Road; there was no reason to use the car since Remus' hide-out was barely a mile away from the flat. The night was cool and the air fresh. London wasn't at all unpleasant late at night.

'How did you ever get the idea of hiding in an abandoned tube station?' David asked. 'I can understand that you wouldn't want to run around in Hyde Park without Wolfsbane, but... How did you find it?'

'The tube to Picadilly. I use that line when I have to talk to the temp agency. I was wondering why the tiles in the tunnel changed in that particular spot, and I went to investigate. It wasn't as if I had much to do anyway. It was pure luck I found it, I really had no idea where to go for the transformation, I just knew I couldn't go back to the wizarding world. So...' Remus sighed. 'There is a small entrance hidden at the end of what was once the platform. However, I spent the first transformation in a desolate area in Wales, but it cost money to go there, so I decided to see if this was a safe alternative. It took me some time to find the entrance from the street above - it is hidden away inside a Muggle building. I think it is their ministry that owns it. Something with 'defence'.

'You broke into a building owned by the Ministry of Defence?' Severus looked as if Remus had sprouted an extra head. 'Have you gone utterly insane, Lupin! They are going to send you to prison for being a spy!' Severus gripped Remus' arm. 'And now you want us to go there too? As if I didn't leave the wizarding world so I would not be exposed to that particular experience.'

'I promise-' Remus turned to Severus, stroking the thin fingers that were wound around his arm in a strong grip. '-no one is using it any more. There hasn't been anyone in there for a decade but me.'

'Always doing the forbidden...' Severus shook his now brown-haired head. 'You'll never stop being a bloody Gryffindor, will you?'

'I doubt it,' Remus grinned and kissed his lover on the cheek. It earned him a particularly angry look.

'And will you stop those public displays of affection, I am not your cuddly toy!' Severus huffed, as David coughed rather demonstratively behind them. 'I am not,' Severus sneered and glared at David. 'Is this some kind of werewolf conspiracy, or?'

'I think you've been a spy for too long,' Remus said and took Severus' hand, pulling him with him to continue their walk. 'Not everything is about conspiracies, you know. Not when we were young, not now.' Severus didn't reply, so Remus hoped he at least was considering that Remus was right.

 

Remus waved his wand and opened the Muggle locks on the building easily. They went inside. The offices were dark and dank and dusty; the building had clearly been used as store room for boxes and then even more boxes filled with obsolete documents. No one had been in there since Remus had left it - there were no footprints in the dust. Remus had carefully managed to perform a spell that made the dust twirl and settle every time he had been there. He let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. 

Remus led them down a rusty staircase until they reached the bottom, the level that had once been the platform level. The old glazed tiles with green letters were still there. That and dust. One of the former lift shafts was empty and had a nice iron gate that closed it off from the rest of the old station. 'In there,' Remus said. 'I place my wand just outside, with my... er- clothes. There is no way I can get out in wolf form.' The small area held a neat stack of blankets that looked as if they had been shaken and torn by a large animal. 'I... have blankets. It is not always I can manage to get up and dress right after the transformation, and it is rather cold down here.'

'The only place in the tube that isn't hot as hell,' David grinned. 'Couldn't you have found somewhere nice and warm - maybe somewhere where they'd offer you a rare steak as well?'

'You wish,' Remus laughed. 'I'm just happy I found this, it is rather safe - even if the wolf gets out. Severus? What do you think? Are you satisfied with my den?'

'I don't care about your... den. No matter how mindless you usually are, I'll have to admit you could have done worse. It is adequate. Now, can we get back to your flat and have some tea? I'd prefer not to use more time down here than absolutely necessary if I am going to sit down here and watch the both of you tomorrow night.'

'Ah, come on, Severus,' David grinned. 'You'll have free view to two gorgeous and naked... er- werewolves!'

'Yes,' Severus said. 'That's what bothers me so much.'

 

Back in the flat they had tea, and Severus soon had Wolfsbane simmering on low heat on one of the hotplates. The smell wasn't very pleasant, to say it mildly. They had to open a window, and even despite Severus' charms, it soon became rather cold. They decided to go to bed. The laptop and webcam they had set up earlier had shown nothing; it seemed as if the stalker had disappeared entirely. Maybe he was getting tired of their continuous moving back and forth? At least the flat was warded heavily, and Remus was sure they could sleep without being disturbed.

David took Remus' bed, and Severus laid out the airbeds on the floor. Soon they were all tucked under the warm blankets. However, Remus couldn't sleep. He usually became restless the days before full moon, and tonight was worse than normal. It was probably the fact that there was another werewolf too close to his mate and lover. Remus didn't like it. He considered if it was because he hadn't had a proper dose of Wolfsbane that the wolf was more alert. He had looked forward to remain sane through the night, but maybe it wasn't enough, after all he had only taken it for five days, not for a week. He lay there, pondering, until David's breathing became slow and even. It calmed the wolf a little, that the competition had decided to sleep. Severus stirred and turned in his arms. His nose poked Remus' ear, and he couldn't stop himself from smiling. There were so many angles and sharp corners on Severus Snape, but no matter how difficult he was, winning him over would be worth the work.

'You'd really fight him over me?' Severus whispered in Remus' ear. 

So the man was awake? Remus tightened his arms around Severus' thin body. 'Mhmm,' Remus murmured. 'I'd fight anybody who tries to hurt you or take you away from me. I'm Alpha. You're mate.'

'And what does that make me,' Severus' voice was low and almost... hesitating. 'Your bitch?'

Remus almost bit a hole in his lip not to laugh. 'You are nobody's bitch, love,' he purred. I may be Alpha to you when we're talking pack business, since you have no rank inside the pack, but there's no doubt who's the Alpha when we're not. I have no intentions of ruling your life or make you my submissive, other than in bed. I acknowledge your rank outside pack.'

'Oh.' Severus was quiet for a moment. 'But we're in bed now.'

'We are,' Remus whispered. 'What would you like me to do about it?' He wasn't sure Severus meant what Remus thought he meant, but the wolf was very, very certain what Severus wanted. It could smell his arousal. Severus fumbled on the floor for his wand. He murmured a spell. Only a few of the words reached Remus' sensitive ears. He knew the spell. It wasn't the first time they had used it. 'Severus... David is asleep less than ten feet from us...'

'So?' Severus wriggled closer to Remus. 'Then you better be quiet.' Severus reached between the blankets and pulled his pyjama trousers down. 'I promise not to scream.'

'Merlin, you are wicked,' Remus moaned and felt his cock stir against Severus' warm back. God almighty, to fuck Severus like that, so secretly and... oh... Remus definitely didn't mind when the idea of it had settled.

Severus just rubbed his arse against Remus' groin; it was just so easy to slip inside. Remus groaned as his mate's warmth encased him. 'I'm never going to forgive you this if David wakes up.'

'Liar,' Severus whispered, his breath ragged already. 'You'd love to make your claim public before another pack member.'

'Pervert,' Remus bit Severus' ear and turned them over, Severus on his stomach, so they could fuck without making the airbeds squeak too loudly. 'And yes, I would, if I thought it'd make you believe... oh lord... Severus... so damned... good!' Severus was clenching hard around Remus' cock, and it was almost too much this close to full moon. He pushed Severus' hair away and bit around his lover's neck, then began to slide in and out of him, slowly, without making any noise. Severus didn't make a sound, but he spread his legs wider, allowing Remus better access. His breath was heavy, as if he tried to hold back. Remus felt as if he was going insane; the slow, silent movements made the wolf want to tear and growl and have.

Severus came first, his cock rubbing against the blankets under him. His restricted moans made Remus desperate, and he almost felt relieved when he felt the tingle in his bollocks, just before he stilled and spurted inside Severus, marking his mate one more time with his come and bites.

'I have ears, you know,' it came from David's bed. 'Couldn't you have cast a silencing spell? Now I'm going to have a wank!'

David disappeared into the bathroom, and Remus hurried to kiss Severus deeply before the man managed to hex him into something disgusting. Remus wasn't in doubt that everything would be his fault, even the fact that Severus had begun this. Luckily Severus was too relaxed to do anything but sneer, 'annoying beasts,' and wrap his arms around Remus.

They were both cleaned up and under the blankets when David came back.

 

For the second time in twenty four hours they were on their way to the tunnels under Brompton Road. The afternoon sky was pink, the sun was setting, and the full moon was close. Remus knew exactly where it was, the moon, waiting just to begin its nightly voyage. Merlin, how he hated it, and at the same time he relished the few hours where the wolf was out, as if his body was too small, too narrow to keep it inside all the time. But mostly he feared it.

No one had been inside the old building since yesterday morning. The stalker hadn't returned to watch Remus' flat during the night, either - not that it in any way made Remus think the man had just gone away. They made their way down the stairs, using their wands to light up their path. Remus used a spell to make the Muggle electricity come to life in the old hallway. It just made the place look even more dusty and depressing. Every third minute a train passed by outside the blocked platform. It made the ground shake and a draught of air blow through the place. A door rattled and slammed somewhere, as if closed by an invisible hand.

Remus and David stripped. There was no reason to ruin perfectly useful underwear and both men left theirs in a nice pile outside the lift shaft. Remus could feel the tug of the moon even stronger now; it was time soon. He closed his eyes for a moment, and only opened them when he felt strong arms embrace him.

'You'll manage,' Severus said softly. 'I have potions with me, for later. It'll take the worst of the pain when you are back in human form.'

'Sometimes I wonder how I can stand the pain month after month,' Remus said. 'It was a relief to be dead, to be honest. Even if I was only out for a few minutes. The thought that I'd never have to do this again...'

'There would be more pleasant things you wouldn't be able to do, either.' Severus raised an eyebrow and smirked. 'Or maybe you'd rather stop that as well?'

'No!' Remus smiled, his good mood returning. 'The thought of that...' He leaned in and kissed Severus. 'If you promise to shag me senseless when we're back in your house tomorrow... I think that'll help.'

'Anything for you my lo-' Severus looked away, blushing. 'Of course,' he said, harshly. 'But now you better get in that cage of yours. I am not sure you have had enough Wolfsbane, and I admit to have seen you without it at least one time too many.'

Remus nodded. Now that he was in love with Severus, he felt even worse about how it had scarred the man he loved. A full-feathered (or -furred, rather) werewolf without the aid of Wolfsbane... it was not a pretty sight.

'Now, Remus.' David was clutching one of the iron gate's bars. His hand shook. 'I... can't...'

Remus got in and closed the gate. 'Be careful,' he told Severus. 'Don't get too close until you're-' A tremor went through Remus' body, announcing the pain that would tear his body apart. '-careful until you're certain I'm still in here.' Remus' voice sounded more like a growl and Severus stepped back, eyes wide from fear. 'I won't hurt you,' Remus growled. 'You're mate. Pack. Mine!' He couldn't hold back the loud growl that told the world that Severus belonged to Moony and no one else! 'Mine!' he growled once more before the transformation elongated his jaw.

'Isn't that sweet?' a voice asked. 'The traitor 'as got 'imself a boyfriend now.' A tall man was walking down the corridor, strolling as if he was just passing by. 'I'm so glad I found you, Lupin. I've been looking for you.'

Remus growled angrily and tried to hold on to shape and sanity. 'Scabior!' he managed, glaring at Greyback's second in command. 'So it's you!' Before anybody could manage to do anything, Scabior hurled hexes at Severus. Remus howled. 'Let me out, Severus! Let me out, he's going to kill you! He's changing.'

'Damned right,' Scabior said, and sent a Petrificus Totalus towards Severus, who managed to avoid being hit. The large man had already changed partly. His fingers had claws, and his face was strangely wolfish. Severus looked scared, and Remus wanted out, wanted to protect his mate against this foreign wolf!

'Taking up after Fenrir?' Remus barked. Behind him he sensed David on the shaft's dirty floor, in the middle of his transformation. Remus had to buy Severus time to hit the stalker with a spell, or he'd be in severe - even more severe - danger. 'Didn't think you'd ever move up in the pack. You never had the bollocks to be an Alpha!' Remus could feel his body change, the pain was overwhelming. 'Please, Severus. Let me out. Let me out! Remus' voice became a singing howl as he crouched on the ground. The beast was taking over, the world changed and Moony was furious! Scabior was acting like an Alpha, and he was threatening Moony's position and his mate!

Scabior stopped. The moon seemed to force him down, to take charge of his body. 'You're dead Lupin, you and your friends. If I don't manage to do it, there are other pack members who will,' he hissed, still holding up his wand to deflect Severus' attack. 'That's what 'appens to pack members who betray us!' Then Scabior howled and his skin seemed to sprout fur. He jumped back, barely avoiding Severus' _Sectumsempra_.

Quickly Severus turned, using the chance when Scabior was out of balance. Severus' eyes met Remus'. It seemed as if Severus had to take a deep breath. 'I trust you,' he said and pointed his wand at the lock. 'Alohomora!'

In an instant Moony and David were outside. Scabior had managed to get on his paws, and Moony jumped, burying his teeth in the larger, grey wolf as it attempted to attack Severus. David managed to get a hold of Scabior's hind leg, and tore a long, deep gash in it. Scabior growled and turned, Moony still trying to hang on to his neck. He felt a bit like if he was in a vacuum. Moony hadn't taken over entirely, but he was there, enough to make it almost impossible for Remus to think clearly. All that mattered was his Severus-mate and to protect his pack. To protect and kill.

Scabior managed to bite down on David's paw. It gave a sharp, crushing sound, and David cried out, withdrawing, limping on his left front leg. Scabior turned to Severus again and before Moony managed to stop him, the gigantic grey wolf charged. Severus cried out, fell, lost his wand, and then Scabior was over him. The grey wolf bared its teeth, ready to tear Severus' throat out. With a feral growl, Moony grabbed Scabior - teeth buried deep in his back - and flung him away from Severus-mate. No one challenged Moony this way! He was over Scabior before the larger wolf managed to stand. They rolled on the floor, growling and howling, snapping and tearing at each other, and Moony just wanted the upstart that had questioned his status to go away. Dead, fleeing, wounded. It didn't matter.

Moony tore at Scabior's neck, but the wolf managed to get up. Quick as lightning, Moony was between him and Severus, hackles raised, teeth bared. Moony looked twice his size, and the way he was standing, exuding confidence, superiority and a calm arrogance, made Scabior hesitate. Moony could smell Severus: fear and blood. His mate's blood. Moony growled again, as if to tell Scabior exactly how dead he would be, if he dared attack Severus again. The pause was enough. Severus dived and got a hold of his wand, casting spell after spell on Scabior. David had limped close enough to bite down on Scabior's tail, and Moony attacked again.

It was too much for Scabior. The large werewolf howled and galloped down the corridor. 'Get him!' Severus cried. 'There might be more of his wolves out there!' David and Moony ran as fast as they could to stop Scabior, David had to give up - three legs wasn't enough. Moony only managed to see Scabior disappear out of a small door which gave access to the tracks outside before he heard brakes and a loud crash. He managed to think clearly for a moment, pushing the door closed. He listened for a few seconds before he heard human voices.

' _It's a big dog. How the hell did it get down here_?'

' _Thank god it's dead, poor thing. Did it ruin the train_?'

' _I don't know. We have to get somebody to look at..._

Moony turned as he heard footsteps behind him. Severus-mate. Severus looked pale and bloody, but at least he was standing. Moony sighed. If Scabior had managed to bite Severus...

It was as if Severus understood. He was shaking as he knelt down next to Moony and buried his face in the long fur. 'I'm all right,' Severus said, and wrapped his arms around Moony's neck. 'I cut myself on the gate. He didn't scratch me. I'm all right.' He sat like that for a while, shivering as if he was crying or immensely shocked. David managed to join them, he sat down, pressed against Severus' back, as if to comfort him. Moony understood this, how his mate had been afraid and scared. But now they were pack, they could give the warmth and the security of their bodies, give Severus-mate the safety of being protected by a strong and fierce Alpha and his second in command.

'You would have killed for me,' Severus murmured, his voice muffled by the thick fur. 'You protected me.'

Moony gave a short bark, as if to tell Severus that he didn't have to sound so surprised. He turned around and licked Severus-mate's cheek before he could prevent it.

'Idiot wolf,' Severus said, lovingly. He stood up, and drew his wand. 'You too,' he said to David. 'Here, I better heal that.'

David sat, tongue lolling, making pathetic noises as Severus worked on his paw.

'You're embarrassing. Now get up, we are not staying here. I'm going to fetch the car, and we're going back to the house. If Scabior has directed other wolves here, we better get away before there are more werewolves than we can handle.

Severus managed to cast a Disillusionment charm on both wolves, and they followed Severus back to Remus' flat like two well-trained poodles. Even in the car, they behaved. It was after all much nicer to lie on the soft back seat than on a dirty concrete floor.

Then again, Severus-mate _had_ threatened to make hearth rugs out of them if they shed as much as a hair on it, after all.


	19. The Debt

The world was a fog of pain and nausea. His body ached, every joint and muscle seemed stretched and torn and cramped at the same time. He fumbled for a glass of water, without opening his eyes; without even knowing if anybody had left one for him on the bedside table. His mind wouldn't work. Everything was empty and foggy and he couldn't see clearly when he finally managed to open his tired eyes.

Then there was a soft hand on his cheek. 'Drink this,' a low voice said, and Remus thought he should know whom it belonged to. It felt safe. He gulped down the offered glass of... something. It wasn't water, but it was wet and cold and good. A heat spread through his limbs, smoothing and relaxing; as if the muscles became liquid and soft and light as whipped cream. His head stopped throbbing and he leaned back in the pillows, sighing deeply. The excruciating pain was fading. Someone rubbed a warm facecloth over his brow. 'Sleep,' the voice said. 'You'll feel better when you have rested.'

The second time he woke up, darkness had settled outside. He could see the darkness through a chink in the curtains. The waning moon was singing to him, trying to lure the beast, but Remus didn't give in. The beast wasn't persistent this time. It was content, he could feel it. It had a mate, it had killed its enemy and it had pack. Mate and pack and the hunt. Yes, the wolf was happy. It brushed against Remus' consciousness and made him want too, made him long for his Severus, for food and friends. He turned restlessly in the bed, reaching out for something, not really knowing what it was. His hand met a warm body next to his. It settled on a wool-clad thigh. Remus sniffed. Severus' scent.

He fell asleep again.

The third time he woke up there was a delicious smell of rare meat. He tried to sit up in bed, but he felt so weak. A strong arm held him and supported him until he settled against the headboard and a pile of soft pillows. 'Better now, love?' the dark voice asked. Remus just nodded and winced when his head decided to return the nausea and the migraine. 'Here.' A glass was held to his lips and the same pleasant warmth and the blessed relief took over where the pain had been. 'Can I light more candles now?' the voice asked. Severus.

Remus opened one eye carefully. There was a single candle flickering on the large chest of drawers in the corner. 'I think so,' he croaked.

Severus flicked his wand and lit a few more, letting the room be flooded with a soft, golden light. 'I understand that werewolves prefer a bloody steak right after... the change?' Severus took a tray he had placed on the bedside table. 'I've cut it... easier...' he said and put the tray on the bed.

Remus took the fork and looked at his dinner. 'Don't you think the farmer is going to miss his prize cow?' Remus asked. He had never seen a steak that size.

'You only got half of it. Your impertinent friend just gulped down the other half.'

Remus took a piece of the steak. 'He hasn't been teasing you, has he,' he asked, as he swallowed the tender meat.

'You mean between the moaning and the vomiting? Trust me, you've got the better deal when it comes to the side-effects.'

'That bad?'

'Yes. The rug in the sitting room is probably not going to survive.'

'Food helps,' Remus said, chewing.

'I'm sure,' Severus looked at him, appalled. 'You have disgusting eating habits.'

'Sorry.'

'At least it stays down.' Severus stood, and walked over to the door. 'I'm going to play dog-sitter for your friend for a while. He needs some of that pain potion. Go to sleep when you're done. You look like something the Kneazle dragged in.'

'I love you too,' Remus just said, wondering if the day after the transformation actually was supposed to feel so pleasant.

'You say that all the time, beast. You better get rid of that habit as well. There are rules.' Severus closed the door behind him.

'And you say _that_ all the time,' Remus whispered. 'The difference between us is that I actually mean it.'

The fourth time Remus came back to the world, he felt better. His body was still tired and heavy and aching, but the pain had lessened and his stomach didn't feel like an empty hole. He wrapped an arm around a pillow, stretching his legs carefully. The joints always behaved as if his limbs hadn't been attached correctly; it usually took a day or two before they were working properly again.

Also, the fourth time Remus came back to the world, Severus' patience had ended, it seemed.

'Up.' Severus had expression that didn't exactly further any protests. 'You are going to soak in the tub. You smell of wet dog.'

'Severus, please...' Remus groaned at the thought of leaving the bed.

'No. I am not sharing my bed with a stinking werewolf. It's ready, your bath, so I suggest you get out there before you'll have to bathe in cold water.'

'David?' Remus suggested. 'Isn't he... can't he?'

'He has already been in. He's asleep. Now, come here!' Severus unceremoniously pulled the duvet off Remus. 'What are you waiting for? I need to change the linen. Get out!'

Carefully, Remus swung a leg out of the bed. The world felt a bit wobbly.

'Can you manage?' Severus' question wasn't an attack this time.

'I think so.'

'Good. I'll bring you another dose of the pain potion; don't lock the door.'

 

Remus did manage. The tub was heaven. Severus had filled it with steaming hot water, and added something fresh and lemon-scented to it. The bathroom was lit by a few candles, a Muggle radio in the windowsill was playing a jazzy pop tune. There was a glass of claret waiting on a stool next to the bathtub. Remus stretched out as much as he was able to. Muggle bathrooms were sorely lacking in size compared to some of the wizarding ones. Remus was sipping the wine when Severus opened the door.

'If I didn't know you, I'd have accused you for being a romantic,' Remus said. 'Thank you, Severus.' He put the wine glass down.

'Don't be ridiculous. I am no such thing.' Severus took the wine glass and sat down on the stool. 'Drink this,' he said, and poured a clear liquid from a small vial into the wine.

Remus drank the wine and he felt a bit dizzy - wine probably wasn't the best thing to have when one was so tired. He rested his head against the tub's rim and breathed out, content and warm and without too much pain. He closed his eyes a little, almost falling asleep again. He didn't open them when he heard a faint rustle of fabric, neither did he open them as Severus began soaping his arms and shoulders. 'Mmmm,' he just hummed, relishing Severus' touch.

Severus worked for a while making sure every inch of Remus was clean before he emptied the tub with a wave of his wand. He leaned over the tub to turn the taps. Remus opened one eye. Severus was half naked, he had disposed of his shirt already. 'If you don't want your trousers wet, I suggest you take them off.' Remus smiled. 'I wouldn't mind some company.' He slid his index finger down Severus' naked arm. 'I need you. Just to hold you, or be held.'

'I suppose you won't let me alone before I have given in to your insatiable needs?' Severus didn't sound angry, and he was certainly quick to take off what he had left on. The tub was almost full when Remus turned off the running water.

'Move a little. I can sit behind you,' Severus said, determined. 'You are not supposed to strain yourself.'

Remus moved enough for Severus to slip into the warm water. They sighed both, almost at the same time. 'Thank you,' Remus said again. He was truly grateful that Severus had taken care of him all day. Compared to how the first day after transformation usually passed, this was something Remus wouldn't mind having every full moon. He leaned back against Severus' naked chest. He managed to turn his head enough to kiss the pale skin of Severus' shoulder. 'What do we do now?' he asked. 'It has been wonderful to be taken care of, but I suppose we need to plan. I am not really that interested in having the pack in the back yard, to be honest.'

'Tomorrow,' Severus said and held Remus tighter. 'Not now. The house is warded, there is nothing to worry about.'

'Mhmm,' Remus murmured. 'I don't mind sitting here with you for some time. Severus' hands caressed his body, almost hypnotically, and Remus felt his eyes close, it was almost impossible to stay awake. 'I think I like you,' he said, not really aware he was speaking. 'A lot.'

'You saved my life,' Severus whispered, almost inaudible. 'My life, Remus.'

'I know,' Remus mumbled. 'I still like you.' The last thing that sprang to Remus' mind before sleep overwhelmed him again was two words.

 _Life debt_.


	20. The Forbidden Forest

'We're Apparating to a hotel,' Severus said and put down a suitcase in front of Remus. 'We cannot stay here any longer. Who knows if there are more wolves on their way? With our usual luck there probably are.'

'But... Severus... for how long? We cannot hide forever.' Remus was suddenly worried. Maybe he should have kept away from Severus that day in London - now everything was going to hell, and fast. It was Remus' fault, all of it. He looked up at Severus, puppy-eyed. 'I'm sorry, Severus. I never meant to cause you so much trouble.'

'You have always caused trouble,' Severus said, brushing a hand over Remus' cheek - to Remus' surprise. He had expected to be held responsible for at least the bad weather and the extinction of the dodo. 'I'm getting used to it, though,' Severus said. 'There are one or two positive things to be said about your company.' Severus sat down in the arm chair. 'But trouble you are - you and the awful friends you keep... Honestly, I don't understand why I didn't ask you to bugger off when I saw you that night.'

'I'm here,' David interrupted, waving at Severus. 'I can hear you. And I'm not awful!'

'Yes, unfortunately. And you are awfully annoying. Can't you go play with a ball or something in the garden while I talk to my- to Remus?'

'What? You lost one out there? I thought you weren't half as snarky as you usually are. Might be why.' David grinned and made himself even more comfortable in the sofa. 'No, Severus, it is much more fun to sit here and watch you pretend not being head over heels lost in our nice Mr Lupin. You're cute when you're trying.'

'Er,' Remus said. 'David, please...' It was the last thing Remus needed, having Severus exploding in a fit of anger. 'Severus, what is your suggestion? A hotel for how long? And then what?' Remus hurried to get back to the topic.

'We're going into the Forbidden Forest tonight. We're simply turning the tables, so we'll try to find Scabior's pack, before they find us. Let the hunters become the hunted... Then we'll see. But we are not staying in any of our houses under any circumstances.' Severus turned to David, who had removed the wide grin he had smeared over his face. 'Can you stay away from work for a little longer?'

'Seems as if I have to.' David raised the hand, Scabior had chewed on. 'It isn't healed yet, so until then, I am not really very good at hammering and such. Also, I'd really like not to lead any of Scabior's wolves to my house, I don't think they have found it yet.' David looked thoughtful. 'Did you ever find out how Scabior found his way here?'

'We mentioned Guildford once, outside. He might have listened, and then it might not have been difficult to find us here, not with the sense of smell werewolves have.'

'Sounds possible.' David nodded. 'And what about the hotel? What if he does the same there?'

Severus rubbed his forehead. 'We are going to use a London hotel. A new one every day, until this is over. It will be hopeless to search London for us if we continue to move.'

'And the wolves? Why do you think the pack is hiding in the Forbidden Forest?' David leaned forward, his face more serious.

'The Acromantula's lair. The Dark Lord used it. It would be the first place I'd think of if I was a werewolf - and the last if I was a human - it is not the most friendly of places. They are hiding there, David, I'm sure of it.'

'You really have been a spy for too long,' Remus said and knelt down next to Severus' chair. 'I'm sorry I forced you to participate in this, but I am also very happy to have you with me. I feel safe with you.' He put a hand on Severus' thigh, smiling, as if to tell Severus without words what they had spoken about earlier: that Remus didn't intend to run Severus life for him, that Remus' beast had nothing to say when it came to the relationship between them, unless it was full moon - or they were in bed. If only Severus would let him stay...

'Go pack your things,' Severus said, ignoring Remus' admission. 'We need to leave. I want to be certain we don't have a tail. Or at least that _I_ don't, when we are going to search for your little furry friends.' Severus smiled.

Remus raised an eyebrow. Had Severus just made a joke? Remus looked at Severus, searchingly. He looked sour, but his eyes were shining. Remus suspected that Severus had actually been a bit bored, because it seemed as if he almost enjoyed the planning and plotting. It had become a habit, being in danger, so it was no wonder if Severus really felt his life was a bit too calm.

 

They Apparated to London, popping in and out of several locations: small, dark alleys, under a bridge, even into a shop's dusty storeroom before Severus was satisfied. They appeared out of thin air in an alley behind the hotel Severus had chosen: a rather nice one with comfortable beds, and a wonderful view over the Thames.

'Isn't it a bit over the top?' Remus asked when they were standing in the suite Severus had booked. The hotel was not something Remus would ever be able to afford by himself. 'We could have found something less expensive.'

'I am not going to celebrate Christmas in a less than comfortable way,' Severus snapped. 'It is enough that I have been driven out of my own house by drooling werewolves, and I _will_ have a decent bed, proper room service, and a bedroom to myself, so I can bugger you senseless without someone listening in.' Severus pulled Remus into his arms. 'I want to use the time we have left together. There are still rules.'

'I can hear you!' David shouted from the suite's adjoining second bedroom. 'You so need to read up on those silencing charms, Sevvie!'

'I'm going to kill him one day,' Severus growled. 'When I'm done shagging you.'

'Hmm,' Remus said and kissed Severus. 'If it is up to me, that is never going to happen.' He wrapped his arms around his lover and let the wolf peek out, growling softly in Severus' ear. It pleased both wolf and man that Severus froze for a moment, then shivered and let out a quiet moan.

'Rules,' Severus managed to state, but didn't let go.

'You keep saying that, love. But the wolf and I... we're not good at them anymore.' Remus kissed Severus and stilled any protests before they were even thought of. It took some time before Severus was able to speak again.

 

The forest was winter-quiet and cold. The trees were black skeleton silhouettes against the dark sky; the moon only partly visible as it hid behind a few clouds. The wind moved a few fallen leaves, it rustled crisp and sharp somewhere in the undergrowth. Maybe it was a mouse rummaging around somewhere close, looking for food. Remus sniffed the wind. It was frost-scented and did not hold anything but the smell of earth and the snow that would come. 'I think we need to go further in,' Remus said. He leaned against a trunk, the dark tree was decorated with a thin layer of white rime. He felt tired. The Apparating had been even more exhausting than usual, since it was right after full moon.

Somehow, Severus sensed his fatigue and put an arm around Remus' waist. 'Can you walk?' There was an honest care in the way he moved his hand over Remus' hip. 'You can stay here, if...'

'No. You are not going in there alone. David doesn't stand a chance by himself if they discover him before you can Disapparate, and you...' Remus would have said something about fear and werewolves, but the way Severus had stood his ground in the fight with Scabior... Remus had a slight suspicion that Severus' irrational fear of the wolf had lessened, and had been replaced by a sensible, yet manageable one. 'You, I won't let go.' Remus tightened his fingers around Severus' upper arm. 'I am yours, just as you are mine, if you'd just accept it. And I stand by your side, when we go into battle, be it Muggle or wizarding.'

'Ever the Gryffindor,' Severus snorted, half way angrily. 'As if I needed you to-'

'Enough now.' Remus' voice hardened. 'You do remember who pulled Scabior off your throat the other night, don't you?'

'Yes.' Severus' eyes were empty and cold. 'I do. And if I forget, you'll be there to remind me of my failure, I'm sure.'

'You never learn, Severus. Merlin, you are so stubborn.' Remus felt a need to hide his head in his hands, or maybe bang his head against a tree. Or maybe bang Severus' head against a tree.

David coughed. 'You are aware that to be with the two of you is worse than being forced to watch a boring wrestling game on the telly? It becomes tedious after the first few interesting hours, lovelies. If at least you wore some of those ridiculous costumes...'

'I have no idea what you are talking about, wolf.' Severus snapped at Daved, then pulled his arm out of Remus' grip. He glared angrily at Remus, 'I presume that means you can walk without aid, then.'

'Yes.' Remus sighed. Being with Severus would not be easy, ever, but if the man at least would understand that Remus meant what he said when he offered his help or his heart. 'Come on,' he said to David, 'I know where the lair is.' Remus began to walk in the direction of the large Acromantula's former nest.

They fell quiet as they came closer to the lair. Remus stopped and listened, testing the cold wind for traces of other wolves. Nothing. He waved as a sign it was all right to go further in. They sneaked through the darkness until they were close enough for Remus to decide that no one was there, that the lair was probably abandoned. Remus had a low, whispering conversation with David, and they decided to find out if the werewolf pack had been using the lair at all. That would rule out one location, at least.

Wands at the ready, they circled closer, still careful, even if the clearing was empty. 'There's been a fire here,' Remus said, murmuring. 'Not too long ago.'

Then the clearing exploded in hexes and lights and shouts. Werewolves in various stages of undress and state attacked, growling and barking. How in Merlin's name was that possible? How could Remus not have sensed them, smelled them? That was all he managed to think before the fight was on. Back to back with David and Severus, Remus hurled hex after hex against the raging werewolves. Some of them didn't seem fully sane; madness was shining in the eyes of some of them.

A half-changed werewolf ripped David's thigh open, and he fell, not able to stand. 'They are too many,' Severus shouted. 'We can't hold them! Let's get out!' Severus sent a Mobiliarbus at an old oak, and let it fall over the group of wolves that were coming too close.

Remus felt as if he was going to faint. He wasn't really prepared for this, and not at all close to his usual strength. A large, muscular man, half changed with fangs and claws bloody, slammed his fist into Remus' chest. He toppled, unable to breathe, and the wolf-man grabbed his leg, pulling him away from Severus.

'Severus!' Remus' cry was desperate. Two wolves were already tearing at David, who managed to hit them both with a hex, before a third wolf tore his wand from him.

'Disapparate! Out!' Severus turned and kicked the wolf-man that held Remus' leg. The impact was hard enough to make him let go of Remus. Remus reached for David as Severus wrapped an arm around Remus' waist to get him up from the ground. They had but a second to get away before the raging wolves would be over them again. Severus almost shouted the spell, and the pull of the Apparition made Remus cry out. In the same instant he felt David's blood-slick hand slide through his own. Remus couldn't hold him. He cried out, tried to hold on, but too late.

David was gone.

They landed on the floor in the hotel room, Remus unable to stand, almost paralysed from shock and anger and fear of what would happen to David. 'We have to go back. Now, Severus. We have to help him!'

'David.' The word wasn't a question, just a statement of a fact.

'Please, Severus. They are going to kill him.' Remus was frantic. How could Severus be so calm when David was being ripped apart by a pack of rabid werewolves? 'If you won't do it, I'm going alone!' Remus managed to get up, supporting himself against the bed.

'No.' Severus reached out and took Remus' wand, coldly. 'You are not going anywhere before I say so.'

'Severus Snape, if you don't give me-'

'Shut up and listen, Lupin. If you get back there now, you'll be the next they are torturing and maiming. If they are going to kill David, he's already dead, and your pathetic Gryffindor bravado is not going to do any good, anyway. If they don't plan to kill him, and they aren't, we have time. We better use it for something else than playing heroes. They are keeping him alive so we'll come back for him.'

'Merlin, if I had known you were so cold...' Remus sneered. The wolf was angry behind belief. 'I am going back there to save my friend, whether you are going with me or not.'

'No!' Severus was losing his calm. 'You are not going anywhere, it'll be over my dead body!'

'That can be arranged.' Remus stepped closer, his eyes were almost glowing from withheld rage. He managed to keep standing, as not to need Severus' aid. 'Give me my wand, Severus.'

'You are not going. We need a plan, and I'm...'

'You're what? Apart from a sodding coward?' Remus was so angry he was shaking. How dared Severus decide for him like this? How...

'I am not going to lose you over something like this!' Severus snarled and pushed Remus back on the bed. 'Can't you fucking understand we need more men? We are both dead if we try alone!' Severus stepped up to the bed, and dragged Remus closer. 'We're going in when I say so.'

'Oh, bullshit!' Remus' face contracted in anger. 'You can't lose what you don't want, and you've told me enough times that you don't want me. I say we go in, because none of us has anything to lose.' Remus managed to get up on his knees. 'Or you could just see it as payment for me, saving your life.'

'What I don't want?' Severus was shouting. 'Are you implying I don't want you, you imbecile? Why in Salazar's name do you think I've put up with you for bloody three weeks, I've blown my bloody cover for your sake, and worst: I've let you sleep in my bloody bed! I'm sodding in love with you, you retarded canine! And I am probably going to pay with my life because I-'

Remus forgot everything around him for a second - time enough to crush his mouth over Severus' and kiss him violently. 'Shut up, idiot Potions master,' he said lovingly as his heart threatened to do something particularly odd from the immense joy he suddenly felt. 'Now, plan. Think like a damned spy, and get David out before they kill him.' Remus let go of Severus' robe. He smiled. 'I love you, Severus. But get my friend out of there. Please?'

Severus nodded. 'Get something to eat, take some of the Blood-replenishing potion. It'll not take too long. I need to use the Floo, and I hope I can make the fireplace work, although I doubt it is connected to the Floo network.'

'What are you going to do?' Severus looked so determined, as if he had taken a conscious choice, and wasn't exactly happy about it.

Severus frowned. 'I'm going to talk to Kingsley Shacklebolt,' he said and strode out.


	21. The Minister for Magic

'Severus! By Merlin's beard! It is fantastic!' Kingsley's deep voice boomed through the provisional Floo. 'Thank the lord you're alive!' Remus stepped into the suite's living room in time to see the large man who was now their Minister for Magic, drag Severus into a bear hug. 'By all that's holy, how... and Remus!' Kingsley's grin widened even more. 'Remus... ' Kingsley let go of Severus who looked decidedly relieved, and pulled Remus into a tight embrace. 'We thought you were dead! What is it with you people? We are not that bad, are we?' Kingsley sighed. 'Don't answer that. I can understand the both of you... but still... Remus, your son...' Kingsley rubbed a hand over his bald head. 'I know it was a bit problematic, Andromeda... she's...'

Remus felt his chest tighten. Yes, he missed his son, but it was for the best. He had nothing left in the wizarding world but Ted. All his friends were gone, the only one left from his childhood was Severus, and Remus wanted to stay were Severus decided to live. He had chosen. He had claimed Severus, and home would forever be for him where his mate was. 'I know,' Remus managed and shook Kingsley's hand. 'She's... formidable, but she'll take good care of Ted. It's not worse than having a werewolf for a father.'

'I'm sorry, Remus.' Kingsley patted Remus' shoulder. 'I'll do what I can to alter things. But we both know how slowly progress progresses. One day, soon.' Kingsley sighed. 'That's one thing I've discovered: laws don't change how people feel. It takes time to shift how people think. You'd further that progress if you came back - you're a good man, Remus.'

'Yes, yes, and I'm Jack the Ripper. Can we go on with business now?' Severus sneered, his patience with the wizarding world was close to nonexistent, that much was clear. He leaned against the fireplace, arrogantly. 'I didn't Floo you to exchange niceties with you, Shacklebolt. We need your help.'

'I thought as much.' The tall man stretched and turned to find a chair. 'Sit down and tell me what needs to be done. I suppose two Order-members wouldn't go to such extreme measures as to return from the dead without due cause.'

'Very true. I have no wish to have anything to do with the wizarding world whatsoever, if it wasn't because we have discovered that some of Fenrir's werewolves are stalking Remus.'

'Oh, so it's Remus now?' Kingsley smiled. 'Of course we can't have _Remus_ followed by his fellow cursed.' Kingsley winked at Remus. 'When did this happen?'

Remus interrupted. 'They have taken David. David MacMillan. He's wounded.'

Severus pulled his robe tight and sat down next to Remus. He breathed in deep, a rasping sound close to Remus' ear, then put his arm around Remus' shoulder. Kingsley flinched. 'It began a month ago,' Severus said, ignoring Kingsley's expression. 'Remus came to me because he thought he was being followed. It turned out to be Scabior, Fenrir's second in command. He has taken over Fenrir's position, and is- was- leading the feral pack in the Forbidden Forest.

'Oh,' Kingsley said. 'And... that... you... are...' He looked from Severus to Remus and back to Severus again.

'Lovers,' Severus said, firmly. 'Not that it is any of your business.'

'No, of course not.' The new Minister for Magic looked a bit uncomfortable. 'My er- congratulations.' He coughed slightly and pulled his one golden earring, fidgeting. 'Well... Let's look at the case. Scabior, you say?'

'He's dead. He had an encounter with a Muggle train while in werewolf form. The train won, not surprisingly.' Severus smirked.

'Good, that's one Death Eater minion less to deal with. Azkaban is a bit crowded these days.' Kingsley had gained his equilibrium. So what is it I can do to help?

'What we need,' Remus said, 'are reinforcements. We're going in to fight the pack before they kill David -and we cannot do it alone.' Remus felt lost. What if Kingsley wouldn't help them? What if the payment - the unwanted publicity - wasn't worth it. Remus berated himself. Anything would be worth getting David out alive. Anything. He didn't dare think the thought to an end; that David was already dead and they were doing this in vain.

'Tell me exactly what has happened.' Kingsley rummaged around in the pockets of he leather coat. He pulled a Muggle pencil and a piece of parchment out. The Minister of Magic had disappeared, and the master Auror had taken his place.

 

'So we are going to war?' Remus had a feeling of having done this before, of déjà vu. 'Severus, I never meant this to go so far, I had no idea...' Remus felt a deep exhaustion well up inside him. They had used several hours planning with Kingsley before the man was ready to go back and call in his Aurors. 'We're going into battle, and-'

'Shhh,' Severus tightened his hold of Remus' shoulder. 'We can manage. We're alive and we are not going to die.' Severus moved closer and kissed Remus on the cheek. His lips were dry and warm against Remus' skin. 'Listen, love... Kingsley agrees with me; David is either dead or kept hostage; they count on us coming back to free him. What they are _not_ counting on is that we have Kingsley joining in. You need to believe it is the right thing to do. Kingsley knows what he's doing. It is better to wait twenty-four hours and have twenty experienced Aurors and Order members behind us. We are going to live, and so is David. You should know how they think, the werewolves. You lived with them - something I do not envy you - for months.'

'I know. I just worry... they are hurting _my_ pack. I have my responsibilities as David's Alpha.' Remus leaned his head against Severus' shoulder. He had no idea how he could go through this without his mate.

'Let it go for now. That is one thing I was taught in the Dark Lord's company,' Severus said. 'There were so many things I couldn't stop... things I had to do, or he would have realised what I was doing. I had to learn to push them out of my memory, create my own inner Pensieve.' Severus clenched a fist, the memory of what had been was still with him. 'Right now you are just Remus Lupin, worried about your friend, not the werewolf Alpha. You can be he tomorrow, when we attack. Until then...' Severus kissed Remus again, softly. Cheeks, nose, hair, lips. Small butterfly-soft kisses. 'You should relax so you can be strong tomorrow.'

Remus smiled at Severus' concern. 'I promise I will be. For once, the curse will be a blessing.' Remus slid a hand through his lover's hair. 'Are you going to help me?' Remus asked? 'To relax?' His voice was low and husky. Right now he needed the comfort of his mate, to forget what they had to do tomorrow. Remus didn't want to think about this might be their last time together, if one of them was killed in the battle.

Deftly, Severus opened the top button in Remus' robe and pressed a kiss to his throat. 'Just let me...' he whispered. 'Let me show you how much I...' Severus paused, as if the world was adjusting. 'Let me show you how much I love you.'

'Oh god... Severus!' The joy Remus had felt earlier, returned. It wasn't as if he forgot about their trouble, or David's unknown fate. It was just that the wonderful miracle of being loved and to love in return overwhelmed him. He hadn't believed it would happen to him, but it had, against all odds, and the almost child-like wonder he felt by it made him smile. Miracles _did_ happen, and the small smile and Severus' dark eyes shining only for him - that was indeed a Christmas miracle.

Severus' agile fingers found their way inside Remus' robe, stroking over his chest, occasionally brushing a nipple. Remus gasped softly when Severus pushed his robe over his shoulders and licked a wet trail from his neck (the spot that made him moan) to one hardening nipple. Severus sucked it, and Remus let out a deep moan. Gently, Severus guided him down in the sofa, pushing the robe away from Remus' body. 'You're so beautiful to me,' Severus sighed, and continued to kiss his way down Remus' chest.

Remus forgot to breathe entirely when Severus found his hardening cock. Severus teased it, licking the head, sucking it lightly, until it stood hard and proud. 'Please,' Remus managed. 'Please, Severus.' Remus didn't know what he begged for, other than for Severus' touches and for their bodies to align in a perfect dance of pleasure and love. He didn't care how, just that it happened.

Stroking Remus' inner thighs, Severus moved Remus' one leg over the backrest. Severus let Remus slip out of the wet heat of his mouth and kissed and nibbled at the thigh as he summoned a vial from the bedroom. Severus held the small bottle for a moment before he looked at Remus. Severus' eyes were shining, and the heavy-lidded look made Remus' heart beat even faster. Severus was not beautiful, just like Remus wasn't, but like this, so passionate, his less than handsome look didn't matter. He was beautiful to Remus, just as Remus had transformed in Severus' eyes.

'Please?' Severus asked, and opened the vial.

'Yes... yes!' Remus moved his hips slightly, as if to demonstrate that it would be fine. 'Want you so badly!' He reached for Severus, wanted to feel him inside, to hold him and to surrender to Severus' wishes. 'Make love to me,' Remus said, his voice shaking. 'My mate.'

'Yes. Yours.' Severus supported himself with an arm at the armrest as he leaned over Remus to kiss him. Severus' kiss was soft, until Remus opened his mouth to let his lover inside, then it deepened, became harder, wilder until Remus felt as if Severus was trying to devour him entirely. He moaned into the kiss, and then there were fingers _there_ , at his entrance, slipping inside, massaging and stretching.

Remus had closed his eyes, it was impossible to keep them open under Severus' onslaught on his most sensitive spots, and Remus just let himself be taken, let Severus do what he wanted. His body was singing; pleasure, love, lust, need, the bond the wolf had created... it was all there, forming a perfection so unlike anything he had ever felt. Not until he felt a pressure and a slightly burning stretching did he look at Severus. Only then did he open his eyes, and as Severus slid inside, their eyes locked. What Remus saw in Severus' eyes was mirrored in his own. 'You are all I need,' Remus said softly, his word ragged by the small moans Severus forced up in his throat. 'Severus...'

Severus took him hard, but their kisses were soft and deep. Sometimes they altered, became wild and brutal, until Remus couldn't breathe. Then Severus let him, resting his forehead against Remus' as he continued to slide in and out of his lover's body. Remus had his long legs wrapped around Severus, his hands buried in his hair. Remus could have stayed like that forever, held in a cocoon of pleasure and warmth.

Severus' moans became deeper, and the low whispering of filth and loving words he let out - sweetness and lust intermingled - told Remus more than anything that his lover had reached the point of no return. He jerked his hips, meeting Severus' sharp thrusts, until he stilled, then let out a broken 'oh', and came, whispering Remus' name over and over until he had emptied himself entirely.

Then Remus forgot that there was a world around them as Severus took him in hand and pushed him over the edge. There was only his mate's slender, strong body and a deep, deep pleasure.

'I never thought I'd have a love like this,' Remus whispered when he finally was able to speak.

They stayed in each others arms until the sweat on their skin had cooled. Remus prayed this wouldn't be their last time.

 

Tomorrow they would go into battle.


	22. War

Twenty Aurors and Order members were waiting as Remus and Severus Apparated to the Minister for Magic's office. For a second there was a deep silence, then they were met with cheers and embraces and handshaking. Minerva was sniffing and blowing her nose in a very large white handkerchief, and Arthur just murmured 'I'm so happy, I'm so happy to see you both again,' over and over. Remus stopped himself from looking for Tonks. He missed her, her good company, her clumsiness, her smile... He did not, however, miss being married to her, it was possibly the biggest mistake he had made in his life. He found Severus' hand as their former _acquaintances_ had all expressed their joy over Remus and Severus' survival. (Remus had considered that the word 'friends' really wasn't adequate. None of them had been Severus' friends, and honestly, not his either. Then they wouldn't have been so busy making him a married man, when that was the last thing in the world he wanted. But he forgave them now, since he had the one thing in the world he wanted the most).

'I don't need to ask you all to be very careful,' Kingsley said. 'We're going to face werewolves, most in human form, but Remus says there might be some of them who have gone mad, and some who are in wolf form, partially. It is up to you all if you can face being cursed - they are contagious in that form - or if you'd rather curse them. You can use any Unforgivable, if you have no other choice. Be careful, all of you! There are werewolves enough as it is. Most importantly, we need to get David MacMillan out if he's still alive. We can make another raid on the pack if necessary.'

'Maybe we should remember there is a reason they are living like that,' Severus said, interrupting Kingsley's speech. 'Before you all get too busy using the Avada on them. Not all of them had other possibilities, as if living like lepers in a sodding forest would be one's first choice. There is a reason they supported Voldemort to begin with. He, at least, promised them the recognition the society wasn't willing to give them. He lied, of course, but their usefulness was more important to him than their categorization as Dark Creatures. They would never have been much more than second rate citizens to him, anyway, but still...' Severus ran a hand through his hair, then crossed his arms, 'We... they... the Death Eaters may have been prejudiced, but being a werewolf didn't mean anything to them as long as it was a pure-blooded werewolf, or someone who supported the cause. Maybe there is something we can learn from that.' Severus glared pointedly at Kingsley. 'Maybe it is more important than we think - that we have somewhere to belong - or someone we belong to. Learn from it, Shacklebolt, or you'll face this problem over and over. Werewolves _are_ Dark Creatures, but they are human as well.' Severus snorted and looked at Remus. 'Occasionally.'

'Thank you, love.' Remus stroked Severus' hand with a thumb. This was something he hadn't counted on, but perhaps Severus had really learned from all their troubles. Remus had never thought that the sour man would ever show such an understanding of the conditions some of the werewolves had to live under. Maybe Severus' voluntary exile had made him understand why some of the wolves would rather live free in the woods than being outcasts, barely making a living in the imaginary outskirts of wizarding society.

'No, Severus. I'll not forget that.' Kingsley nodded. He seemed serious. 'Take care of yourselves - and of our enemies. They might not all be lost to the dark side.' Kingsley drew his wand. 'Are you ready? Let's go!' The Minister for Magic had decided to lead the raid himself!

They landed - twenty warriors stepping out of thin air in the grey morning light. The sun was barely up, only a weak streak of pink and purple above the dark trees told the morning was on its way. The werewolf camp was as quiet as the forest, quiet and empty, almost void of life. It took a few seconds before the drowsy sentry who was sitting at a burnt-down campfire realised what was going on. 'Wake up, pack!' he bellowed, drawing a battered wand at the first Auror - a grave mistake. The werewolf fell, brought down by a full Body-Bind Curse, before he could do anything.

Then the wolves were out and over them. Most had wands, but several tried to attack unarmed. The preternatural strength their curse gave them made some of them quick enough to outrun a spell, and two Aurors were down with snarling werewolves on their backs before anybody managed to react. Then curses and hexes flew through the air. Remus grabbed Severus' hand. 'Let's find David. I need to know he's safe!'

Severus just nodded. They began searching the Acromantula's lair. It was a large cave, little alcoves and odd corners all over the place. The spiders hadn't been living there for the interior design. It was dirty and the decoration mostly consisted of old webs and quite a lot of the large spiders' sucked-dry victims. 'Charming place,' Severus muttered. 'Your flat looks luxurious compared to this.'

When they were almost at the bottom of the cave, they heard a low moan. They managed to find their way through roots and cobwebs and dirt, and there, in a corner, wrapped in bloody rags, David lay - unconscious, but alive!

'Do you think we can move him?' Remus said, pulling the dirty fabric away. 'Oh...' Remus turned his head in disgust. The wound on David's thigh was already infected. 'We better get him out of here, and fast!'

'Blood poisoning.' Severus knelt down, drawing his wand. He began a low chant that made the angry red colour disappear somewhat. David sighed and scrabbled for something to hold on to, still not awake.. 'Maybe he has hit his head,' Severus said. 'I don't dare do anything else. He needs a healer.'

'I'll get one.' Remus stood. 'Can you get him to the clearing?'

'Go,' Severus just said. 'I can manage.'

Remus ran. He hoped that David wasn't seriously hurt, but the unconsciousness was a bad sign. Hopefully it wasn't too late.

He came out of the lair just as a large Alpha male growled and flung himself in front of him, making him trip and fall. His head hit a corner of a rotten log with a loud crack. 'Traitor! Dirty fucking traitor. Pack-killer!' The hoarse growl of the pack's new Alpha was the last thing Remus heard. He saw a fist, half human, half wolf come closer, as if in slow motion. The world disappeared in pain. The nothing.

For a while he hovered in darkness. The pain was gone, there was just a fluffy fog that Remus couldn't see through. Somewhere, from far away, he heard his mate's desperate cries. _Remus! Merlin, no! Please... God, don't be dead. I love you! I can't live without you_! Remus wanted to go back, to answer his beloved's call. He just couldn't. He felt so tired, lost in the void between being and not being. He had no idea how to find his way out.

He didn't know how long he had been hesitating in the nothingness when he heard a voice. 'Oh, there you are, Moony! Good that you came back, I've been looking for you.'

'Sirius?' Somehow Remus wasn't surprised. He had been here before.

'Yeah, who do you think it was? Of course it's me!' A shadow emerged from the clouds, transforming into something more firm. 'Moony!' Sirius reached out and hugged Remus. 'You are going to stay this time, right? James is here too, and Lily.'

Remus knew he had a choice. Nobody had told him that was how it was, he just knew. He could choose to be with his friends, be happy and live with them... forever. Sirius was looking down at him, the cornflower-blue eyes shining. Sirius looked marvellous, just young and handsome and well. It was such a temptation. Sirius was a temptation.

Then the memory of the excruciating pain and loss in Severus' voice returned to Remus' memory. 'No. I'm not. I'm sorry, Sirius, but I have to... I want to go back. I think I left my heart there.' Remus managed to get up from the ground he couldn't see. 'I love you, my friend. But I've found the love I have been longing for all my life, and I want to go back to him. I wouldn't want to face eternity without him.'

'Oooh, Moony's in love! And who is the lucky woman?' Sirius grinned widely.

'It's not a woman, Sirius.'

'No... Moony... you didn't. He died! You haven't? Fuck, bugger, shitting arse and hell! Not the slimy Snivellus?'

'You knew already?' There was a little nagging voice that told Remus not to be surprised.

'Fuck it, you knew how he was following you before that night in the tunnel... he was in love with you, why else would he be so interested in where you were going. He was making moon eyes at you every time he looked at you, the slimeball!'

'Your language certainly hasn't improved.' Remus grinned. 'And how do you know about...' Remus stopped. He suddenly remembered something he had asked Severus. _Do you always get what you want_? he had said and the sadness in Severus' reply had been evident. _No_ , Severus had replied. _Twice, I had to let go. I am not making that mistake again._

Twice he had to let go. Lily had been that one time. And the other?

Oh, Merlin.

'I'm sorry, Sirius. I have to go.' Remus embraced his friend and turned away from him. He went into the grey fog without knowing where to go. All he had to lead him home was the longing for his mate.

Remus never remembered how he got there, but the next thing he saw was the naked trees in the clearing, the morning sun peeking through braid of black branches.

'Crucio!' Remus heard Severus cast the Unforgivable. It made his heart ache. Severus had to be in so much pain if he was using that spell.

'Severus... Severus!' Remus' voice was weak, but strong enough to penetrate the noise of the battle. 'Severus, mate?'

Severus turned around, and the pale face expressed a loss and a despair so heartbreaking that Remus had never seen anything like it. 'Severus, love?' Remus reached out for his mate, and then Remus was in his arms, clinging desperately to Severus. 'Never let go of me,' he whispered. 'Never let go!'

They sat there, the unconscious David at their side, clinging to each other as the battle subsided. The Aurors had taken over, the werewolves surrendered. Some were hurt, and Aurors Disapparated them to St Mungo's. Others were tied together, ready to be deported to the holding cells in the Ministry until they could be sent before the Wizengamot. Slowly the cries and curses ebbed out. It was time to go back.

 

It was a few hours later, when the healers had done their work. The Aurors hadn't lost any men (or women, for that matter) but one might be contaminated. They had to wait until next full moon to know. The werewolves had been incarcerated in the cells, most of them were hungry and ragged and, well, relieved. The thought of revenge had sounded so good when Scabior had been there to inflame them. Without a leader, they were just a bunch of poor people living on the edge of society.

The Aurors and the Order members had all come back to Kingsley's office, even David who had gained consciousness as soon as the poison was out of his body.

Kingsley coughed to get the assembled witches and wizards' attention. 'As we all know, we owe Mr Lupin and Mr Snape a great deal. It will not be too much to say Mr Snape's brilliant and tireless efforts did indeed help save the wizarding world from Lord Voldemort's attempt to gain unlimited power over it. Mr Lupin used the curse which has kept him a pariah in our society to spy and make certain we had information about the feral werewolves. Mr Lupin and Mr Snape did, as we all know, sacrifice their plans and revealed themselves to us to, once more, prevent a plot to take over power over our society. For that,' Kingsley said, 'I would have liked to award them both with an Order of Merlin.' He put a hand in his pocket. 'Unfortunately,' he smiled, 'they have both been awarded one, posthumously, after Lord Voldemort's fall. We can all see how unfair that was. So it is my pleasure to hand over the Order of Merlin, 1st degree, to Mr Lupin for services rendered during the war. Mr Lupin, if you please...'

Remus stepped up and took the small leather-clad box. The Order of Merlin shone golden on the white silk. 'Thank you,' he said. 'I... I just did what everybody would have done.' Remus knew it was a lie. Everybody wouldn't have done what he had done, despite of how the wizarding world had treated him, he had stood up for what he thought was right, and had lost almost everything on the way. 'And now I'd like to go home.' Now Remus had a home - the place where his mate was. 'I think the wizarding world can run perfectly without my aid.'

'Yes, of course. But first,' Kingsley took another box. 'For David MacMillan, for aiding Mr Lupin and Mr Snape in their fight to hinder a conspiracy against the Minster for Magic and the members of the Order of the Phoenix, I hereby grant you an Order of Merlin, second degree.

David stepped up, limping still. 'Well, thank you,' he said, quite a bit sarcastically. 'You just send up the Bat-signal next time, and I'll be at your service.'

Kingsley was obviously the only one who understood what David was talking about. Remus stared at the two of them, grinning. Kingsley patted David on the shoulder. 'I'll make sure it won't be necessary, incidents like this hopefully will be prevented by a more humane approach to integrate werewolves in our society in the future. Now,' Kingsley said, 'it is a great pleasure to award our world's highest order to a very brave man, a hero without whom Lord Voldemort had been your leader.' The assembly looked decidedly ill.

'Mr Severus Snape, please step forward and receive the honour that is rightfully yours.' Kingsley smiled, he probably had a very clear idea what Severus had gone through. 'Severus Snape?'

No Severus showed up. He wasn't anywhere in the Ministry. Remus sat down on a chair in a corner when the people they had sent out to find him returned. He felt numb. Empty. He should have known it was too good to be true. He should have known that love and pack and security was not for him. Oh, Merlin, he should have known. Now the blow hit him when he was most unable to manage.

Severus was gone.


	23. Lost

His body was an entirely detached dead weight. His mind was empty, apart from the immense pain. He could sense his skin, a bit like a battered bag that held his useless intestines in place. It felt parchment-dry, the skin, where his tears had cooled and left a salty crust. It burned, but not as much as the burning, destroying ache in his ruined heart.

He tried to put his feet evenly on the ground, but tripped and hammered a knee down on the path's flagstones, adding physical pain to the inner. For a moment, he knelt there, making sure he had all his limbs with him after the Apparition. They seemed to be there, all of them - apart from his heart. There was this dull, throbbing ache where it should have been, but it was gone, gone with the man he had come to love so deeply. The man who had showed very clearly that he - despite his reciprocated feelings - did not want Remus Lupin at all.

Remus looked around him. He could feel the wards around Severus' small lodge hum; a slight tingle on his skin. He walked closer. The wards let him through, and a wild hope welled up inside him. If Severus hadn't locked him out entirely, maybe Severus had just been tired and wanted to get away from the celebration of their victory. Maybe he was waiting inside, maybe... maybe Remus was just incredibly naïve. He knew with a deep certainty that there was no Severus waiting for him to come home, no warm embrace or soft kisses left for him.

The house looked empty. There were no candles lit; the windows were dead eyes, staring out at nothing. Life had left it, leaving an empty shell that had once contained happiness and love for a few weeks. A few weeks where he had been truly happy. He pushed the door open. It wasn't locked, and it just swung inwards; creaking slightly as if the hinges were already rusty. The house was cold; a body left to rot during the winter. Severus wasn't there. Remus didn't bother to look. Even the small bird he had given Severus was gone. The tree it used to sit in outside was empty too, Remus could see it from the kitchen window.

In the sitting room, he found the small box with his few belongings stuffed inside it. An envelope was put on top of it. This was it, then. The end.

Remus opened it, slowly, as if to postpone the moment where his world would fall apart. There was a brief note inside, written in Severus' neat, cramped hand.

 _Lupin_ , it said. _Due to our agreement to terminate any contact between us as soon as the stalker was caught, I must ask you to leave my house. Please, do not return. The house and grounds will be warded against intruders. In the future, our only contact will be the delivery of the monthly dose of Wolfsbane potion I promised you. It will be sent to you by Owl. I wish you no ill. I have nothing to offer you but that, just as I have no need for what you possibly could offer me._

The note just fell crumbled to the floor as Remus Disapparated back to his small flat.

The world was ending, or so it felt. It would have been better just to have let go when he had had the chance - to have followed Sirius into whatever place they had been in. He would have missed Severus so much, regretted what he had done, and cherished the memory of the love they had shared. He would have remembered their brief happiness for eternity. That way he had but at tiny speck of hope to be with Severus in the afterlife when his time came. Now there was nothing. Remus was nothing. He was alive, but what kind of life was it he had created for himself? He was alone, he had abandoned his child, his few former friends, his life as a wizard. He had this small, poor room and a curse almost impossible to live with. He had barely money enough to survive.

If this was the life he had to face, he would rather have died. The love he felt for Severus had brought back something beautiful in his bleak life; something he had only hoped to have. For a while, he had felt like the happiest man on earth - richer, better, healthier. He had felt loved, and he had loved in return and it had made his world a wonder. The emptiness that had replaced it was unbearable, as if the winter's frost suddenly had settled inside him. He felt frozen.

The box with his belongings slipped from his hands, spreading shrunken books and clothes all over the floor. He knelt down to pick them up, but it was too much. Not even that he could do. He curled up on the floor, unable do anything, unable to stand, or even to get into his ruined bed. He just wrapped his arms around himself and wept, sobbing and howling. The wolf assisted him, equally caught up in their loss. It sounded more like the anxious whimpers of a lost puppy than the howls of a mature werewolf. Remus lay like that until the tears subsided, and all there was left inside him was pain. Then the darkness overwhelmed him; the exhaustion dragged him in and he fell asleep, clinging to the hope he might die from heartache before the morning came.

It was around midnight when a noise dragged him out of the blessed sleep. For a moment, he sat, disoriented, before the sadness welled over him, making him almost unable to react. There was a loud, insistent knocking on the door. Maybe if he just ignored it...

The knocking continued. Remus sighed and hoped it was one of the feral werewolves who had escaped and had come back to kill him. Right now, it would be such a relief. He would be with Sirius and James in a moment. Not a bad prospect, compared to what the living world looked like from Remus' point of view. Only, he had to listen to Sirius' 'I told you so' for eternity. On the other hand, it was better than the unbearable pain of having lost his beloved mate. Everything was better than that.

Maybe if he could just manage to stand and open the door? Maybe the pain would be over, and he wouldn't have to feel like this, wouldn't have to deal with the loss. Remus grabbed the corner of the wobbly bed and managed to drag himself up from the floor. 'Just a moment,' he croaked. He smoothed his robe. If he was going to be killed he could just as well do it with some dignity.

He fumbled to open the lock. The light was on in the corridor, and for a moment all Remus could see was a black silhouette against the golden light.

'Lupin...'

Remus recognised the voice instantly. Only it was not the confident voice of the man he had known for so many years. It wasn't the voice of the controlled, cold Severus Snape. Maybe no one else would have discovered it, but the wolf did, with its enhanced senses. 'Severus... what do you want?' Remus closed his fingers hard around the doorknob. He didn't want to break in front of his former lover. That would make the unbearable even worse.

'Can I talk to you?' Severus didn't try to get inside. He just stood there, passive and almost petrified.

Remus' eyes had adjusted to the dim light. Severus' face was pale, paler than usual. He looked as lost as Remus felt. Remus just nodded and stepped away from the door. It didn't matter. Severus could talk or not. Nothing could make Remus feel better or hate his life less.

'I thought I had lost you, there, on the battlefield.' Severus stepped over to the window, looking down on the dark street. A car drove by, Remus could see the light reflect in the windows on the house on the other side of the square. 'I lost you once, when the wizarding world believed you to be dead. I didn't want a second time, it was so close when you lay unconscious on the ground. I thought it would be less painful just to leave you and get over it with. It isn't. No matter what I do, I can't avoid the pain, can I?'

Remus didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say.

'I didn't mean to hurt you. I made a mistake because I didn't know what to do,' Severus said, his voice almost inaudible in the dark. 'I love you.'

Remus found the words he needed. 'I knew what the conditions were, Severus. I don't like them, but it is your right to ask that I obey them.' He was quiet for a moment, considering what Severus had said. 'You may ask, but if you truly love me, I am not sure I am going to obey anything.' Remus took a deep breath. 'You see, that spine we talked about... my backbone. I think I forgot I had it for a little. But now?' Remus put a hand on Severus' shoulder. 'Now I am certain I don't care about your stupid rules.' Remus slid his arm around Severus' waist. 'Actually, all I care about is that you are here.' Remus pulled Severus into his arms. Severus didn't fight him.

'I don't care about any sodding rules, either,' Severus murmured, hiding his face against Remus' neck. He was stroking Remus' back tenderly. 'I don't care what happens now. I don't care whether I live or die, if you are not with me. I don't care if loving you scares me more than anything I have ever experienced, and I don't care if I am almost unable to breathe out of fear of losing you.' Severus straightened up, to look into Remus' eyes. 'I don't care, because I realise one minute with you is worth more than the rest of my miserable life - a life I don't care to have if you are not in it.' Severus smiled softly. 'So what will it be? Are you going to ruin my life for good? Will you live the rest of _your_ miserable life with me, Remus Lupin?'

Remus' heart beat so fast he could hardly breathe. Severus meant... 'I need to know one thing,' Remus said. 'Before I...' He wanted to accept what Severus offered, but he, too, felt scared. Something inside him needed the confirmation that he was doing was the right thing, although he knew nothing was more right for him than to be with Severus Snape for eternity.

Severus tensed. 'Yes?'

'You told me once you had let go twice in your life, and I assumed you were talking about somebody you loved.'

'Is that a question, Lupin?' Severus didn't let go, but he exuded discomfort. 'Now, ask that damned question, so I know where I stand,' he growled, demandingly.

'I assumed the first person was Lily... I mean, it was clear the two of you were very close. But the other you let go, Severus... Who was that?'

'You are too clever for your own good, wolf.' Severus was sneering. 'But I suppose I'll have to get used to your annoying ways and the fact that you are in possession of your faculties most of the time.'

'Is that a reply, Severus?' Remus was grinning widely, his heart fluttering like a swarm of butterflies. He knew... oh, Lord... he knew. 'Or do you need me to give you the answer?'

'That will not be necessary.' Severus straightened. ' _I_ have a backbone, you see,' he said proudly. 'And I am not afraid to admit I fell in love with someone in school. Neither am I afraid to admit I fell in love with him for the second time when he came back to work at Hogwarts. I am even willing to admit I was stupid enough to repeat the mistake for a third time when he rudely intruded and interfered with my life, once more.'

'And have you backbone enough to admit who you are talking about?' Remus' eyes glittered, his face was happy and his body shivered from a physical need. He wanted Severus so badly! 'Are you going to admit you have been waiting for me for that long?'

'That depends, wolf. Are you going to live with me or not?' Severus' anxious tenseness disappeared slowly. 'As I understand it, you have claimed me, and we're as good as married, according to Kingsley Shacklebolt. There is actually no way you can avoid it, because tomorrow I am going to Kingsley and ask him to include the werewolf mate-claiming practise in wizarding law. I think he might be very understanding and forthcoming. So you see, you will be regarded a criminal if you try to escape me, and deny me what is mine.'

'Oh, we can't have that,' Remus said. 'I do not want to be on the run for such an atrocious deed. I better come live with you for the remaining part of our lives, then. You are entirely unable to take care of yourself, I have seen that already. Any good-looking werewolf can lure you into the most dangerous adventures. I must prevent that in the future.'

Severus' insecure expression altered into a smile, a wide, true one. 'I suppose I can - entirely against my will - admit that I loved you, then, at Hogwarts. And I love you now, you annoying fool of a werewolf.'

'Good,' Remus said, almost speechless over the miracle it was to actually have Severus Snape admitting something like that. Severus loved him, he loved Severus in return, and maybe the world wasn't such a cold and bare place it had seemed only half a day earlier. 'Good,' he repeated. 'So, can we go home now?'

'Do I have to justify that question with an answer?' Severus said, and Disapparated them both.


	24. The Ministry Revisited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Christmas has come! Thanks for reading along - it was a pleasure to see comments and kudos on this story; I loved writing it, and it's the best gift to get for Christmas that others enjoyed reading it and cared to tell me. Pleasure to speak to you all. :) 
> 
> But Christmas isn't over - tomorrow posting commences with yet another novel-length story - 24 chapters in 12 days of Christmas. Plus maybe a 100K+ bonus Snupin. ;)
> 
> Happy Holidays, everyone, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Yule, Christmas, or just general happy holiday relaxation.

Remus stretched languidly in the luxurious bed. He smiled as his hand brushed over Severus' warm body. Remus turned a bit, pushing the duvet down, so he could look at his naked mate. He let a finger wander down Severus' hard chest, with a slight detour around a nipple surrounded by a sparse dusting of soft black hair; over a muscular stomach, to the sharp hipbone; further down until he reached his lover's cock. It was so easy just to wrap one's hand around it; the sensation of the velvet-soft skin under his palm was a pleasure in itself. Remus smirked and closed his fist a bit harder around the wonderful soft cock. He caressed it, at first calmly then, as Severus stirred and moaned, more firmly. The lusty groan Severus made told Remus it was all right to continue. He stroked the cock until it was hard, and Severus made even more pleasurable little moans. He could feel life pulse inside it, a alluring rhythm that Remus would like to follow, preferably buried inside his lover.

'Bloody werewolf!' Severus groaned and spread his legs. 'It is eight o'clock in the morning. Can't a man get some peace and quiet in his own home?'

'No,' Remus murmured. 'I think you should get used to it. I do intend to do this on a regular basis if you don't have any objections.' Remus leaned forward and kissed Severus' neck. It was such a beautiful neck. 'And it is much more pleasant than being dragged out of sleep by an annoying alarm, won't you say?'

'If you must.' Severus huffed arrogantly, an act that was partly ruined by another loud moan he didn't manage to stop.

'Oh, I don't see it as duty. It is my pleasure. And yours.' Remus nibbled at Severus' silken skin. 'If you'd just hand me the oil?'

'You're impossible.' Severus reached for the small vial on the bedside table. 'But it is probably something I'll have to endure.'

'That would be most convenient' Remus grinned and poured oil in his hand. 'I'll do my best to make it a pleasant experience.'

'Ah, well... then get on with it,' Severus snapped and wrapped his arms around Remus' neck. 'And kiss me while you're at it.'

Remus obliged, for some time and with great intensity. No matter how sharp Severus' tongue could be, kissing him was definitely not bad, as a matter of fact it was both arousing and left Remus wanting for more. It still felt miraculous that the sour, reserved man could surrender himself like that, offering Remus his mouth and body so wantonly. Severus was a contradiction: harsh words and pliant body. But Remus understood. In time it would change, when Severus had convinced himself that Remus did love him. It would just take a little time. Severus was, if nothing else, immensely stubborn.

Gasping, Severus arched up from the bed as Remus slipped two fingers inside his lover. 'Remus! Oh... please... quickly.' Severus moved his hips, not letting Remus in doubt what he wanted most of all that moment. 'Want you so badly...'

'You can have all you want,' Remus moaned. Severus seemed to like it without too much preparation, maybe the urgency made him feel more wanted. Remus didn't know, but he had the rest of their lives to find out, at least if things turned out as he wished they would. 'I need you too, love,' He removed his fingers and found his way between Severus' legs, legs that were soon around his back. Severus was whimpering, moaning, as Remus slid inside. It was so tight, so good.

Remus took Severus slowly, enjoying every deep thrust, every caress, every kiss. Severus had bared his neck, his head thrown back in pleasure, and Remus marked it again and again, making sure his claim on his mate was both visible and underlined. Severus made little cries that inflamed the wolf and its needs, not that Remus was less aroused by the delicious sounds. Severus' nails made a burning trail down Remus' back.

'Severus... Severus...'' Remus groaned and increased the speed, thrusting in as hard as he could. Severus opened his eyes, and they were black and deep and filled with an intense fire. Suddenly Remus knew exactly what to do. He pulled his long hair away from his face, over one shoulder. He stretched his neck, the same way Severus did to him. 'Mark me,' Remus demanded. 'Show me you want me as much as I want you.'

Then Severus' red lips were on his skin, and there was a sharp pain that fuelled Remus' lust and arousal, making him cry out. Severus' tongue flickered over the mark he had bitten into his flesh. Remus couldn't hold back; the tightness of his lover's wonderful body and the feeling of Severus' hungry mouth sucking his neck was more than he could manage. He angled himself to make sure he hit Severus' prostate, letting go of the wolf and the desire. It didn't take long before Severus gasped, pushed a hand between himself and Remus, and with a few strokes came, his other arm wound tightly around Remus' neck.

'Say it,' Remus moaned. 'Say it aloud!' He was so close, and he wanted the confirmation that this - love and sex and pack - would be for life. The wolf roared in the back of his mind, wanting to hear its mate's agreement.

'Mine,' Severus whispered, 'you're mine, Remus.'

Remus just closed his eyes and let the avalanche of deep satisfaction pull him down in a blinding crescendo.

 

'Are you ready?' Remus looked at Severus who was wearing a beautifully cut black robe. 'You look very... shaggable.' It had taken a while for them to get out of bed and shower, there had been so many kisses that needed to be exchanged. They had managed, in time, thank Merlin. It wasn't a good idea to let Kingsley wait for them.

Severus winced a little as he walked towards Remus. 'I think I could need a few hours away from bed,' he said, summoning his travel cloak from the hall. 'I'm sure you are trying to kill me by wearing me out.'

'Then you better thank Kingsley for insisting on this meeting,' Remus said. Things had been hectic yesterday, with wounded Aurors and Severus who had disappeared. Kingsley's Owl had disturbed them rather early, with a letter asking them to return to the Ministry, since there were a few administrative things that needed their attention, coming back from the officially dead and all. Kingsley had said he would like to have it done before Christmas.

'Yes, I'm sure Kingsley is interested in how you managed to take advantage of me several times, before you finally let me sleep. You are a ruthless man, Remus Lupin!'

'And I who thought I lacked backbone?' Remus smiled as his snarky lover. Their life together would never be boring, that much Remus was certain of.

'Are you done standing there, looking like a lovelorn schoolboy?' Severus drew his wand. 'And I do admit you might have... improved a little.'

Remus was quite satisfied with his own theory regarding looking lovelornly at Severus. He'd probably never stop looking at Severus in that way. 'Hm, I thought you were the one who had been... infatuated for some time?' Remus wrapped his arms around Severus. 'Are you going to Disapparate us?

'I don't know what you are talking about.' Severus raised his head proudly. 'Just because I happened to notice you once or twice during the last twenty five years.'

'Mhmm. I love you too.' Remus grinned broadly. 'Now, get us over to Kingsley's office, will you?'

The last thing Remus heard before the spell dragged them away, was something that sounded like 'damned bossy werewolf'.

 

Kingsley seemed to have invited all the witches and wizards who could still stand after yesterday's werewolf battle. David was there as well, hugging Remus tightly. 'Thanks,' he said, winking at Severus. 'I have had the most er- exciting weeks in my life, and I do _so_ look forward to go home and try to explain to my fiancée why I have been gone for so long. I think time has come when I tell her. Everything.' He punched Severus on the shoulder. 'To be honest, the two of you are going to help me. Dinner sometime tomorrow? I am not facing Deirdre alone!'

Remus clenched Severus' hand, to prevent him from disappearing. Severus glared at David for a moment. 'Well... he is pack, I suppose.' He raised an eyebrow. 'You are his Alpha.'

'I am,' Remus said, and didn't manage to say more before Kingsley greeted them. 'Severus! Remus!' Kingsley shook their hands. 'We still have that Order of Merlin to give away, and we have a few more things to deal with.' Kingsley turned to the assembled Aurors and Order members. 'First of all, I am very glad you have all agreed not to reveal to anybody that Severus and Remus are alive. They willingly gave up their new lives, and the least we can do is give them the privacy they want. Everybody who participated in the battle,' Kingsley said, 'have sworn. You are free to come back if you want, but I understand why you wouldn't want to.' Kingsley nodded. 'Your... situation is a bit unusual. I have made a few suggestions for the Wizengamot, to thank you for your all you have done for us, both against Voldemort, and now this.

'And those suggestions? Have they something to do with werewolves?' Remus felt a bit nervous. He exchanged an eyebrow-raised look with Severus.

'They do. The first regarding the settlement of werewolves in the Muggle world. It seems to be able to do it successfully if one has the resources. I am going to talk to the other minister about how to do it, and make sure those who would want to move are supplied with decent Wolfsbane.'

'Deportation is an uglier word for it,' Severus said. 'You are aware of that?'

'Yes,' Kingsley nodded. 'But we cannot alter our world in a minute, I think I've said that before. The best way is to make sure our werewolves are healthy and successful, that'll make the transition easier. Keeping people - wolves - out of society to a degree where they need to live in a cave... I will not allow it any longer. I just need to take it slow, but I'll get there. At least some of the ones we arrested are possible prospects. They didn't support Scabior's revenge plans, they just didn't have anywhere else to go.'

'And this concerns us, how? I have by far enough with the two canines who already have attached themselves to me!' Severus looked decidedly annoyed. 'Can't you just give me that sodding medal, so we can get back home.'

'Oh, Severus!' Kingsley laughed, his deep voice filling the room. 'You are too modest.' Kingsley reached in his pocket for a small leather box. 'No one deserved it more than you.' Kingsley put a hand on Severus' shoulder. 'Now be a nice boy and look at your new toy, because the reason it might be of some help for you, is because I'd like to ask Remus if he would like to work for the Ministry of Magic in this. So we are sure it is done properly, and won't be anything like deportation.'

'But..' Remus was taken by surprise. That, he had not expected. 'That means the ban on werewolves working is lifted?'

'Looks like it, Kingsley grinned. 'I had a very... serious conversation with the Head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. We simply moved everything regarding werewolves to the Being Division, and since werewolves are then categorised as beings, there is no reason to deny them work, and it will be very unpopular to discriminate against them in the future.'

'Oh.' Remus wasn't prepared for that. Neither was he prepared to decide whether he wanted to work for Kingsley in the Muggle world. 'Can I think about it?' he asked. 'I don't have to come back here to manage the job?'

'No, we can set up a Floo connection and keep your assistance a secret. The salary is terribly generous, by the way, but you're the best man for the job.'

'I... I'd like to discuss it with Severus first.' Remus needed time. If he truly could make a difference he would like to. But he was not alone anymore, and the fact that he had someone to discuss his decision with filled him with joy. He had someone he loved in his life, someone who cared about him. Remus' hand found Severus' again, squeezing it lightly.

'The other thing I decided concerns you both.' Now Kingsley was beaming. 'As I said, werewolves are now beings, and that means we recognise any werewolf laws or traditions as long as they don't interfere with wizarding law.'

'Oh,' Remus said again. It wasn't possible for him to say anything else. If this meant what he thought it meant...

'Oh? Have you suddenly adopted the vocabulary of a teaspoon?' Severus looked from Remus to Kingsley. 'Is there something you haven't told me?'

'No. No! I...' Remus' heart raced. 'I never thought...'

Kingsley crossed his arms. 'Yes, Remus. Do you want to tell him, or am I going to? You have claimed him, haven't you? I think you mentioned that.'

'Yes,' Remus mumbled. 'But that's not enough.'

'Just ignore me. I'm used to people trying to ignore me,' Severus sighed. 'Is someone going to tell me what the hell you have cooked up here?'

'Has he let you claim him, too?' Kingsley asked Severus. 'The same way he claimed you?'

'None of your sodding business, is it, Shacklebolt?' Severus was more accommodating than an iceberg, all of the sudden. 'Why?'

'Because if he has, you are legally bonded. You just need to fill in and sign a statement and hand it to the Being Division. That is, if you want to, of course.' Kingsley's wide grin became even wider. 'Maybe you'd like to think about that too?'

'No,' Severus said. His hand fluttered in Remus'. 'I don't.' He turned to Remus. 'If you want to...' Severus' thin lips curled in a soft smile as he leaned closer, to whisper in Remus' ear. 'I'm yours. You are mine. That is what I promised you, and I keep my promises. If you want me to write it on a piece of parchment as well, I can do that.'

'Always the romantic,' Remus whispered back. 'I stand by my claim. I don't see any need to sign anything, but if it is a nice certificate it will look pretty on the wall over the bed.'

'Remus...' Severus looked both happy and insecure. 'I...'

Remus just shut his lover (and the rest of the guests) up by kissing him deeply and loudly.

'Interesting way to air one's tonsils,' David said. 'I understand a congratulation is warranted.' David shook their hands enthusiastically.

'Go away, MacMillan,' Severus grinned. 'You're just jealous!'

 

The meeting turned out to be something akin to a bonding reception as soon as both Severus and Remus had signed the statement, and soon the other guests had them standing in each their end of Kingsley's large office. Everybody wanted to speak to the earlier so infamous war hero, and Remus was standing by himself when a tall, black-haired witch approached him.

'Andromeda. How is... my son?'

'He is well. I am not pleased with this, Remus.'

'I am very sorry I didn't die. I don't intend to take him away from you.' Remus felt as if a cold hand clenched his heart. Maybe it was impossible to ever see Ted. Remus didn't want to ruin the boy's life.

'Strange you should mention that. I had a conversation with the Minister today, which is why I am here. He more or less forced me to send Ted to you once a month and for at least two weeks in the summer. No,' Andromeda said, and that moment bearing a remarkable resemblance to her dead sister. 'I am not pleased at all.'

Remus was well aware that his former mother in law wouldn't had shown up unless Kingsley had told her to. There was no love lost between the two of them. 'I didn't know,' he said. 'I... I wanted you to let Teddy stay with you. He needs to be brought up in the wizarding world. But he is still my son.'

'And my dead daughter's,' Andromeda snapped and turned her back to Remus as if he had been personally responsible for what had happened to Tonks. He stood there, crestfallen, when Severus returned, calmly putting an arm around Remus' shoulder.

'Don't.' Severus just said. 

'Don't what?'

'Don't worry about her. He's your son, and she knows that. She doesn't stand a chance if you decide to bring him home.'

'I don't want to fight her, Severus.'

'I know. You're being too kind. Again. You shouldn't let her bully you. And we should forget about her. I'd like to celebrate more... privately.' Severus pulled Remus' ponytail. 'If you won't mind, that is? Enjoy that we are... bonded for life?'

'Insatiable?' Remus' mood lightened a bit.

'Utterly. But then I have a nice pet wolf with some stamina to take care of that. If he has no objections.' Severus caressed Remus' cheek. 'Find your cloak, and we'll leave. We have important business to take care of!'

'The horizontal kind.' Remus smiled, turned and went to look for his cloak. When he came back, Severus was gone.

 

It was becoming an annoying habit, only this time Remus was sure Severus hadn't fled. He went outside in the corridor to see if Severus had gone that way. Remus could hear voices from the next office. One of them was Severus'. Remus stopped, carefully peeking out from behind one of the corridor's pillars. Severus stood with his back to the door. His voice was cold and low and dangerous, the voice of the dangerous, commanding Death Eater. He was talking to Andromeda. Remus didn't intend to listen, Severus could talk to whom he liked, but the arctic tone made Remus hesitate.

'It'll ruin his life,' Andromeda said. 'No matter what the Minister is doing, no one wants any werewolves here - not in their families, not in this society. They are Dark Creatures, Snape. You better convince Remus to stay away from my grandson, that will be best for him.'

'Ah,' Severus huffed. 'Once a Black, always a Black. With you the prejudice isn't directed at Muggle-borns, but against werewolves. You really are priceless.' Severus stepped so close to Andromeda that had Remus not had such a good hearing it would not have been possible to hear the words. 'I warn you.' Severus hissed. 'You are not in Bella's and Narcissa's league, so I suggest you don't even try. I am used to handling them and you are just an amateur compared to your sisters. Instead, you might need to remember the tiny little problem you have if we decide to come back to the wizarding world, Andromeda.'

'You are not, you loathe us, Snape.' Andromeda glared at Severus. 'It would be the last thing you'd ever do. And we all know how much you loathe children.'

'No, Madam Tonks. The last thing I'd ever do is to let someone walk over my lover, because they think he's worth less than anybody else, just for being who he is. You'll wake up one morning and find you don't have a grandson to take care of, because I _will_ endure a return to this-' Severus waved his hand as if to include the Ministry and their world. '.if you in any way try to prevent Ted from visiting, or if you try to ruin what feelings there might grow between Teddy and his father. Be grateful you are allowed to keep him at all. For now. He's Remus' son. Never forget that.' Severus sent Andromeda Tonks a look that would have sent a lesser witch running for her life. 'Be careful. Very careful, or I'll make you regret it in ways you are unable to imagine.' Severus turned, letting the cloak billow aggressively as he strode away from her, out of the office.

Remus put a hand on Severus' shoulder as he walked by. 'I heard you, love.' Remus smiled and pulled Severus closer, ignoring his surprised expression. 'Ted's better off with her, he needs a wizarding upbringing. I'll just... Now I get to see him at least some of the time, and I can teach him to respect his father's kind as well. Thank you for supporting me.' Remus felt proud and happy that Severus had defended him so passionately.

'None of us ever had what we wanted in the lives we had before,' Severus said, cupping Remus' cheek. 'We will now. I'll make sure we do.'

Remus just nodded. They had found something they'd never thought would come to them: love, happiness, and loyalty. 'We both will,' he said. He held his hand out for Severus to take.

'Let's go home,' Severus said and put his thin hand in Remus'. 'I think we are done with the wizarding world for now. We have friends and a house and a life elsewhere.'

It was the best Christmas present Remus had ever had. Finally, and for the first time in his life, Remus knew he had somewhere to call home.


End file.
